An exasperated Receptionist peeks her head into Dr. Economywitz’s office and announces;
"The House is on line 2 again Doctor. This is the fifth time he’s called this morning."
Dr. Economywitz blows out an overworked exhale and lets the Gate Keeper off the hook by taking the call.
“Hello House. What can I do for you?”
“Doc ya gotta help me!” House blurts out “You won’t believe what’s been happening. I don’t know what I’m going to do!”
“Calm down House, is this like the time your owners painted that orange accent wall and you thought your life was over?”
“No Doc. This is bigger than that!”
“Like the time your previous owners hung dead animal heads in the living room and grew pot from their nostrils?”
“No Doc, I’m tellin’ ya, I don’t know where to turn…my owners...well.....they’re talking about….they’re considering...
…leaving”
“You mean like selling you?”
“No they can’t sell me” House swallowed hard and whispered “I’m not worth what I used to be these days Doc. I tried to keep my value. Honest I did. I don’t even know where I went wrong. They’re thinking about just...
walking away.
...Not giving a rats' ass about their precious credit scores they’ve been cultivating and protecting all theses years. Screwing the mortgage company that refuses to help them even though they've been the poster people for Responsible Home Owners and.."
“Now settle down House, maybe you’ve got this all wrong. I see this kind of thing every day, perhaps they’ve just been airing too much CNN in the halls and all of those ugly foreclosure reports are just hitting a nerve”
House considered this for a moment. Then shook his rafters and blurted out,
“NO! I heard them myself! They can’t afford me anymore! His hours have been cut and her job…well, she hates her job. She’s been killing herself trying to make it work but she says those promises of high commissions were a myth and she hasn’t been able to find a new job anywhere and...”
"House take it ea..."
“ ...and she says there are no jobs out there! And she’s never had trouble finding work before …she’s been looking for months…and I know better to think it’s not me it’s them but I’m all they talk about these days so who else could it be?" House stopped to take a breath then whined.."I don’t want new owners Doc! I like them! She’s a little quirky but I don’t mind and he…well he does a decent job talking her out of the trees most days…. I've had worse living inside of me...”
“Get a hold of yourself House, things are picking up. We are on the upside of this recession I tell you. Just stay supportive and grounded. You’ve got a foundation to be proud of and I think your owners will turn this thing around”
Was Dr. Economywitz even listening?
“House, trust me on this. Things will get better...."
"But..."
"Now I have to run House, Pre-Existing Condition is on line 4.”
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16 comments:
My house called and said it wanted a new front porch and new carpeting upstairs. I'm a bit suspicious. It sounded alot like the wife.
As they say, "Look for it, it's coming".
Ugh. Also? Ugh. Maybe a little more ugh. And hugs. Which is just ughs misspelled. Which I only just now realized. And my mind is blown. BLOWN. Which is sort of off topic again. But you've met me, right?
Shit! I want to laugh but have to cry. My husband and I have been struggling since the economy hit the fan. I've been out of work off and on for two years.
Ditto on never having had a problem finding work in the past. All the jobs seem to be for part-time work. My husband is in sales, and so my salary has always been a huge help. The weekly $89 checks from unemployment that stopped in January paid to heat one bathroom in December.
While GE and other corporations get richer by not paying taxes, the rest of us end up in the red. As Jayne said, where is the anger? Why aren't people taking to the streets?
Big hugs for house.
Poor House. Maybe it's owners can talk about it of earshot next time. :)
The grew pot from their nostrils? Hee Hee.
**Hugs**
Reading between the lines makes me want to hug you ... and cry because I know how you feel. Been there ... AM there. Won't get maudlin here, but I'm thinking of you and hoping House gets his way and gets to stick around.
Mrs. B, I hate what is happening to so many people. This totally sucks! We sold the house before this one to my sister about 10 years ago.She and her husband lost the house to foreclosure and we went to see it when it was on the market and they had moved out. My sister had painted a "swatch" on one wall of a bedroom to see if they liked the color. (She had hated the house from the second she moved into it but that's another story.) When I saw that swatch of paint, I started crying. Not for her, but for the house we had lived in and had such good times in for over 10 years. I am so happy there are new owners who seem to love the house and are even painting it. Sweetie, I hope this is hypothetical, but if not, things still do work out. But I hope to hell you aren't going through this.
Way to make light of a tough situation, my friend. It would be one thing if all the economic shit hitting the middle class was by accident, but unfortunately it's by design. Interesting article in Vanity Fair: http://www.vanityfair.com/society/features/2011/05/top-one-percent-201105
As Lauren said, Get mad and get loud about it. Nothing is going to change until people voice their outrage.
May House get its wish to keep its loved ones.
Big hugs, my friend.
Great post!
Awwww, blimey mate, even though I know you wrote it funny and it was hour house talking, but I hope you are ok. Are you going to have a roof over your head for the next few months?
You guys are awesome. Truly!
And no worries over here. It's all going to work out. My house thinks he knows everything...and apparently he tells everything.
What a blabber mouth (-:
Hey ...I also hope this is not for real...Dr Economywitz can s_ _ _k s_ _ _t....hes a bad doctor..a quack...!!..can we sue for malpractie..?..Like Jayne said ..I want to get loud, but no one is listening...people turn the other cheek...or smack it...each has there own little hell there living in and dont want to hear anymore shouting....!I do feel as though I want to get radical about it...but Im still trying to figure out how I want to do it...Ill get back to you when I have an idea...until then......Luv Ya Friend..!
Wanted to cry while I laughed. Ouch! So been there! Annoying that house foundations without cracks get rich crackpots living in them. Hmmm.....I'm feeling a ThinkSpin rant coming on!
This breaks my heart. I really hope walking away won't be necessary. Big hugs!
ugh. so depressing. i know so many (well a few) that have been in this position. my sister and husband/family had to walk away from their house. they lost everything, and then some. their credit is ruined. they rent. they owe a fortune in taxes and they are struggling so much. it is not easy out there. not at all. and i hope you are going to be ok!!!!!
Just saw this and thought of you. Homeowner won lawsuit against mortgage company.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/30/david-brash-phh-mortgage_n_842707.html
Hugs...
SAD and beautifully written. I have actually APOLOGIZED to my house, OUTLOUD (no one else heard me, don't worry) for ending up so run down. I can't even afford paint at this point... and my house deserves better!
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