You Talkin' To Me?

....“Yes, I believe I was” my employment recruiter who has been tirelessly searching for the perfect job for me replies "They’ve made you an offer” he pauses for affect “It’s everything you asked for…

*insert any dramatic body slump to the floor of your choosing here (go 'head, be creative).

“Hello? Are you still there?”

Am I really supposed to have the ability to speak at this point?

Months of searching, sweating, interviewing and waiting have come down to this?

One simple word?

Yes?

Why do I feel the same confusion as when I wonder why I always have more conditioner than shampoo?

The same confusion as when my husband hears a song and says “I love this song, have you heard it?” and I reply “never” and then he proceeds to sing it three times more…louder as if deaf and repetitiveness will somehow jar my memory instead of wanting to slice out his vocal cords one by one?

“Ahem….hello Miss Find Me the Right job and Quick - So what do you say?”

Did I mention that my recruiter was sassy?

Come on! Say the word! You can do this!

Hurry up or he will hang up on you and put you in his Too Dumb for a Job file cabinet and throw away the key.

“You mean I got the job?” I ask still stunned even though I can practically hear him drawing the line on my side of the stupid score board.

“Yes” he actually laughs (and why not? There will be a commission for him on the other end) “They want you to start in two weeks. Should I tell them you accept or do you want to keep searching for a few more months. I’ve got nothing better to do?”

Ok, now I’m better.

“Fuck no. Tell them I accept!....Why are you still on the phone?..... GO!”

I guess life is still full of new beginnings …even when you can feel like you are so close to the end.

Now excuse me a moment while I go do the Yippee Ki-yay motherfucker dance all over my house.