Monday, October 5, 2009

Top 10 Things A New Mother Must Know













Top 10 things a New Mother Must know



# 1. Don’t let the baby eat dirt


(If the baby poops green…don’t worry)



#2 Don’t let the baby eat grass



#3 If the baby screams when you take away the bottle, chances are you didn’t put enough rum in it



#4 Should a rash develop, have yourself checked out immediately



#5 Mother in laws who think you are incompetent give helpful advice can become clumsy around this oughta take care of the old bat accidental kitchen spills



#6 Teething is normal. Stay away from baby if urge continues



#7 Don’t try to pawn the gas smell on the baby. We all know it was you



#8 Mothers and fathers do things differently and that’s o.k. The baby will grow up to know the truth love you both and realize that you are always there for them I do way more



#9 Sucking snot out of baby’s noise is to be expected. Using a straw is not.



#10 If screaming and crying persist, go into another room or you will wake the baby




9 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! I love #3. So THAT'S why that kid wouldn't shut the hell up! lol Awesome blog!

Silvia on October 6, 2009 at 10:33 AM said...

This make me laugh so hard, you are very funny. I love your two-step rule, I think we should do more of that.

Great blog

Following you from MBC

natalee on October 12, 2009 at 6:21 PM said...

LOVE YOuR BLOG!!! Im following now....

Simplee Stated Designs on October 15, 2009 at 6:02 AM said...

This is genius! So funny! Wish I knew these tips about two years ago!

Telecommuting Mom on October 15, 2009 at 8:19 PM said...

So funny. Following now! Great post. Saw you on MBC.
http://telecommutingmommies.blogspot.com
Alaina

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THIS!!! These are great :)

So glad I found you on MBC!!

I'm at http://pediatricsafety.net

JENIE=) on October 27, 2009 at 7:52 PM said...

love your post! ths is my first read...will read more next time ;)

hope we can exch. links...
life round me N you
earthy me
at-a-blink
heartQUAKES

Clueless_Mama on October 28, 2009 at 5:19 PM said...

I love that! It is too funny. Thanks for sharing something fun. Following from MBC http://www.guessingalltheway.com

Angie on May 17, 2010 at 8:26 AM said...

Must stop reading your blog. I'm laughing so hard my face hurts!!! I'm following you now and also grabbing your button.

Oh, and I found you via SITS.

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