Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mother Underworld-Fact or Fiction?












"Really, you have no idea what goes on", a mother loftily informed me one afternoon while waiting for our kids to come home on the bus.



"There has always been a silent war between Stay at Homes and Working Mothers in school" she continued to educate.



Huh?



"And it is uglier than you can imagine" she continued



Umm, I believe I just asked her how she was doing.



"Oh and the other day, during my son's swimming lesson at the YMCA, I was discussing some of my child's challenges with one of the instructors when another woman spat out 'Sheesh, you new mothers think you know everything don't you?"



New Mothers vs. what? Old Mothers? Stay at Homes vs. Working Mothers?



Well .....WTF vs. WTH While you're at it.



"I think that you are watching a little too much C.S.I. girlfriend" I remarked jokingly.



Where the hell was that bus?



"Maybe you need to get out more" I added with a nervous laugh while I concentrated intently on rocking back and forth from heel to toe.



"You see??!!' She croaked "That is exactly what I'm talking about! You wouldn't understand

because you are not in it like I am". Was that spittle on my face?



I noticed that she was starting to get a bit agitated.



Hey, easy mama. "I know what goes on in the PTO. I know what mother's are

saying" she announced.



Yeah, but did you know about all of the side effects for the medication you are

obviously taking?



"They can't just come in and make decisions once in a while or when it is convenient for them. I make it my business to be at every meeting no matter what. If you aren't going to be there on a regular basis, part-time participation should not be allowed!"



I thought she might soon be in desperate need of a paper bag.



Okay, I did not sign up for PTO Alien mothers waiting at the bus stop.



Should I even attempt to get into how I work and still somehow manage to keep in touch with what is going on at the school or should I check her for weapons first?



She was obviously waiting for me to speak. Was it my turn already?



"Uh, yeah, sounds crazy. I never knew". Were those my shiny pearls of wisdom that weakly sputtered out of the side of my mouth? Maybe I'll make a necklace.



Alien mother just rolled her eyes and declared cryptically "Just wait. You'll see when your son gets older"



MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT WHEN MY SON GETS OLDER????!!! Um, no thank you.



Was this a twilight zone episode that never was? Should I stop reading so many vampire books? (can't make me)



Are there truly such rivalries out there that need further scrutiny or total annihilation or was this just my lucky day to have such a special encounter with the Queen of the Mother Underworld?



You know what? Maybe I don?t want to know.



Shut up you know I do!!!? Tell me! Tell me! I have to know!



Mother Underworld: Fact or Fiction?




This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!
Now visit Lauren and witness all of her originality greatness!

Thank you my Jersey Girl Goddess!! Now go meet her @inannasstar.blogspot-No way you can resist!!!

Thank you my geeky friend!!! Now go check out Confessions of a Reforming Geek..she is way cool!

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?
If you have not met Diane, please check her out. You will not be sorry! You trust me right? Go!

Thank you to the Empress at Gooddayregularpeople- Go visit this magnificent blogger!!!

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?
She's totally awesome!! Go check her out and see!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks  to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!
Go check out the Screaming Me-Me for THE most captioning fun on the internet!!!! She's one of the friendliest Blog hosts out there!!!! Have fun & Caption away!!!!

Huge thanks to Nancy at ifevolutionworks.com for this award-Love this !!!

Thanks Heather @ twolittlemonkeysplushubby & Richele @underthegoldenappletree

Thanks so much to Margaret over at lollipopsandpickles.blogspot.com & Katsconfessions.blogspot.

Thanks so much to Margaret over at lollipopsandpickles.blogspot.com & Katsconfessions.blogspot.
Thanks to Tami xoxo@heartsmakefamilies.com & Richeleoxo@underthegoldenappletree.blogspot! Also to Hil'Lesha @ tothemotherhood.com-& Vicki @ frugalmomknowsbest.com & Amanda at bloggertowne.blogspot You guys rock!!!

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE
Another Awesome heartfelt thanks to the awesome Lauren @Thinkspin & multi-creative Robin @insightsandbellylaughs.com-find them ...follow them...go!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!
Thanks to my bloggy buddy @thewannabewahm.com for bestowing this award back to me and letting me keep a Rosie at home forever!!!!

Sunshine Makes My Day!! Many Thanks to Joy@ thepracticalmomguide & Ziva @Zivasinferno for the shine

 

Thank you Anat over at bsparkly.blogspot.com for this spectacular award!!!

HUGE thanks to Gabrielle @ thewifeyblogs.blogspot.com and Lisa @snugglebugglerockmom.blogspot.com!!

Thanks Lee!!!

Thanks Jenie for The Lady Ms Blogger Award! Visit her giving greatness @heniperrr.blogspot.com/

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/
Tamara-Thank you for this!!! xoxoxoxoox visit her at @ homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com xoxoxo

Thanks so much to Blia @ superheroesmom.com

Grab An Award-see below

Finally, you do not need to be a recipient of an award to give an award!

Grab An Award – My way of awarding it forward. The only rules are: THERE ARE NO RULES (Only rule is no rules? Rule for rules? Is that a rule? I’m so confused)

And what is nicer than giving an award with no strings attached just because?

So in the spirit of fun blog awarding and ‘cause I think they’re a great way to connect and share the blog love with our awesome fellow bloggers (without the chain letter affect-they give me the willies), I have created The Divine Blogger and Rock Star Blogger Awards to grab-I know, fancy right? -(o.k. so I won't quit my day job)

Grab it and let the lucky recipient (s) know that you have given them a rule-free award and not to be afraid to pick it up on your site. Once they grab it from your site, they are free to pass it along to others (rule-free of course). And anyone can grab it from their sites to pass on as well.

Hope you all enjoy awarding it forward!

Now hurry! Go make room in your closet for all that good karma. And please get rid of those old sweatpants while you're at it! (-:


The No Rules Rock Star Blogger Award

The No Rules Divine Blogger Award

Award Love Received

Thanks so much to Lisa at Grandmasbriefs.com (the Grandma sites got it going on yo) and Robyn at Simply Delightful and Tamara at homespunheartscandlesand Jane @agingmommyblog for this award. You guys are awesome!

Okay, here are my 10 honest things about myself:

1. I am an extremely well balanced individual

2. I am easily distracted

3. I don’t take rules seriously

4. I lied about number one (number 3 made me do it)

5. I have a short attention span

6. I often don’t finish what I sta..


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A Must Read Award

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