"Really, you have no idea what goes on", a mother loftily informed me one afternoon while waiting for our kids to come home on the bus.
"There has always been a silent war between Stay at Homes and Working Mothers in school" she continued to educate.
"And it is uglier than you can imagine" she continued
Umm, I believe I just asked her how she was doing.
"Oh and the other day, during my son's swimming lesson at the YMCA, I was discussing some of my child's challenges with one of the instructors when another woman spat out 'Sheesh, you new mothers think you know everything don't you?"
New Mothers vs. what? Old Mothers? Stay at Homes vs. Working Mothers?
Well .....WTF vs. WTH While you're at it.
"I think that you are watching a little too much C.S.I. girlfriend" I remarked jokingly.
Where the hell was that bus?
"Maybe you need to get out more" I added with a nervous laugh while I concentrated intently on rocking back and forth from heel to toe.
"You see??!!' She croaked "That is exactly what I'm talking about! You wouldn't understand
because you are not in it like I am". Was that spittle on my face?
I noticed that she was starting to get a bit agitated.
Hey, easy mama. "I know what goes on in the PTO. I know what mother's are
saying" she announced.
Yeah, but did you know about all of the side effects for the medication you are
"They can't just come in and make decisions once in a while or when it is convenient for them. I make it my business to be at every meeting no matter what. If you aren't going to be there on a regular basis, part-time participation should not be allowed!"
I thought she might soon be in desperate need of a paper bag.
Okay, I did not sign up for PTO Alien mothers waiting at the bus stop.
Should I even attempt to get into how I work and still somehow manage to keep in touch with what is going on at the school or should I check her for weapons first?
She was obviously waiting for me to speak. Was it my turn already?
"Uh, yeah, sounds crazy. I never knew". Were those my shiny pearls of wisdom that weakly sputtered out of the side of my mouth? Maybe I'll make a necklace.
Alien mother just rolled her eyes and declared cryptically "Just wait. You'll see when your son gets older"
MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT WHEN MY SON GETS OLDER????!!! Um, no thank you.
Was this a twilight zone episode that never was? Should I stop reading so many vampire books? (can't make me)
Are there truly such rivalries out there that need further scrutiny or total annihilation or was this just my lucky day to have such a special encounter with the Queen of the Mother Underworld?
You know what? Maybe I don?t want to know.
Shut up you know I do!!!? Tell me! Tell me! I have to know!
Mother Underworld: Fact or Fiction?