“Hello. Can I help you find something specific today?” The very young and beautiful cosmetic salesgirl asked while quickly storing away her half eaten bag of potato chips under the counter.
Yes, which way to the miracle aisle?
“Um, I’m not really sure. Just looking for now.”
“I can show you some great new skin care products.”
You think my skin looks like crap. Don’t you?
“Uh... Okay thanks.”
“How about a new chemical peel? It does wonders for age spots and wrinkles.”
You’re gonna get older one day too sister and I hope I’m still alive to revel in your misery.
“Yeah, uh, I guess that would be great. Thanks”
“Have you ever thought of trying some bolder colors of lip gloss and eye shadow?”
Why? To accentuate my wrinkles and age spots?
“Um. No. Not really.”
“Let me show you some shades that would look good with your coloring.”
Note that your ass will fall too.
“Oh yes, these are much better colors for you”
With any luck, you will sprout chin hair
“Yes, I see what you mean”
“There. I think you did great. You are going to love your new makeup look.”
I will now live for the day when those potato chips catch up to your perky helpful ass.
“I’m sure I will. Thanks so much for your help.”