Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Sex, Taxes...What's the Difference?














“Welcome to H&R BLOG. Ready to have your taxes done today?”


By your best criminal please


“Yes”


“So I see here that you have done your own taxes for the past few years. What brings you to us this year?”


I couldn’t figure out how to scam more money back by myself.


“Convenience.”


“Do you have all of your forms with you?”


Right here. Ready to be doctored up.


“Yes”


“If applicable, would you like the refund automatically deposited into your account?”


IF???? IF I wanted IF, I would have done the damn taxes again myself!!!! What the hell kind of criminals do you have running this joint???!!!


“Okay. Sure. How much do you think I could possibly get back?”


Please keep in mind that orange makes me look fat


“Well it looks like you didn’t make that much in 2009. Was there a salary decrease or something?”


Where the f*&@ have you been bloghead?


“Yeah, something like that.”


“Well it doesn’t look like much but we’ll see what we can do.”


Bloghole


"Yes, by all means, please see what you can do"


At least my husband buys me a drink first (-:






46 comments:

Two Normal Moms on February 2, 2010 at 1:46 PM said...

I think so many of us will be sharing that pain this year.
Oh, that was funny. In a 'I think I'll laugh instead of cry' sort of way! ;-)
***Ally

Ellen on February 2, 2010 at 2:47 PM said...

HA!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to say, I am eternally grateful that my sister is an accountant. Although I don't think your accountant should yell at you for not saving your receipts, ya know?

Sophia's Mom on February 2, 2010 at 2:58 PM said...

HA HA HA!!!
And I am so jealous! Your husband buys you a drink first?! WTF?!
I'm writing a post about not getting any foreplay after getting married!

BugginWord on February 2, 2010 at 3:08 PM said...

I have a degree in accounting. The only thing it's ever done for me? Taught me I'm too dumb to do my own taxes. Shazam.

Dual Mom on February 2, 2010 at 4:20 PM said...

Ugghhh is it that time of year AGAIN?

Robin on February 2, 2010 at 5:46 PM said...

H & R Blog..that is great...LOL..mine are done and Im not happy..we both are not happy..but WTF..we have jobs at least and Im thankful for that, for sure...!!!BTW you have such creative posts...Luv It..!!

Me-Me King on February 2, 2010 at 6:08 PM said...

Taxes? We don't need no stinking taxes.

TMB on February 2, 2010 at 6:14 PM said...

aaahhh!! I am hoping to get a suitable amount this year UNLIKE last year where we owed BUT our fabulous tax guy made it so we didnt owe as much!

Alexis AKA MOM on February 2, 2010 at 6:18 PM said...

Well crap! Hello we all had a decrease you dimball!

Mad Woman on February 2, 2010 at 6:48 PM said...

Heheh this made me laugh.

Deb on February 2, 2010 at 7:38 PM said...

Sex and taxes - both can leave you with a funny taste in your mouth.

My name is PJ. on February 3, 2010 at 3:00 AM said...

Made me laugh! The last line made me laugh harder and Deb (above) made me laugh harder still!

Momma Michie on February 3, 2010 at 3:55 AM said...

Ha! Awesome! I work in a CPA firm and see a similiar scenario daily...lol.

Moooooog35 on February 3, 2010 at 6:16 AM said...

Shit like that is why I have fake corporations and assumed names and don't register my cars or anything.

Oh.

Crap.

Queen Bug on February 3, 2010 at 6:28 AM said...

Too funny!!!!

Veronica Lee on February 3, 2010 at 6:30 AM said...

LOL, that was funny!!

J. L. W. on February 3, 2010 at 6:57 AM said...

That is hysterical!!! I love it!

The girl with the flour in her hair on February 3, 2010 at 7:22 AM said...

We always do an extension and put it off until October because we always own so stinkin' much.

Just like sex.

Miss Spoken on February 3, 2010 at 10:48 AM said...

This is why it's always good to have at least one relative that lives under a bridge so you can increase your number of dependents.

Nancy C on February 3, 2010 at 11:16 AM said...

It's the most miserable time of the year! Sigh

Maureen@IslandRoar on February 3, 2010 at 1:55 PM said...

Yeah, and he probably makes pretend to cuddle afterwards. I don't think that's covered here, altho it would probably help.

Unknown Mami on February 3, 2010 at 2:23 PM said...

Bloghole might be my new favorite word. Ooo, I think I like blogwad, too!

blueviolet on February 3, 2010 at 4:23 PM said...

I just had mine done today and I despise it!!!! However, we're gonna get a healthy refund! :)

FanningFlashes on February 3, 2010 at 5:01 PM said...

I go completely bloglistic when tax time is here! (I'm staying with the whole blog lingo thang) Like your site!

Heather @ Two Little Monkeys on February 3, 2010 at 7:18 PM said...

Loved that!

Lauren on February 3, 2010 at 8:46 PM said...

Great social commentary. Hmmm. The wonders of H&R. I guess after they screw up your taxes, you need to go out and get a second job, hence the name H&R.

Amanda on February 3, 2010 at 9:02 PM said...

Taxes?

I'm the dumb woman who has her husband do all that stuff. I told him he is not allowed to die before I do.

Otherwise I'll end up in debtors prison.

Gillian on February 4, 2010 at 2:39 AM said...

I hope the drink is a strawberry dacquiri at LEAST!

Marisa (Loser for Life) on February 4, 2010 at 1:50 PM said...

LOL! Maybe they should start serving alcohol! The numbing effects would help ;)

Thank you for visiting my blog and the warm welcome to MBC! It's such a great community; glad to be a part of it.

Nezzy on February 4, 2010 at 2:37 PM said...

Taxes? Doin' them here on the Ponderosa is like writing a very long novel. I'm talkin' pages and pages!

Ya'll have a great day!!!

Noelle on February 4, 2010 at 4:55 PM said...

a nice stiff drink...and a tube of K-Y. ahhhhh...it must be tax season.

愛鋒頭 on February 4, 2010 at 9:59 PM said...

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Jayne Martin on February 5, 2010 at 3:13 PM said...

I always get an extension and deal with it in October. It's easier to take for some reason in the fall, when the year has already turned to crap, as opposed to April when I'm still feeling all hopeful.

Working Mommy on February 5, 2010 at 3:57 PM said...

Hahahahahahaha...sounds like the feds bent you over - or at least H&R Block did!! Its okay...they got me too!

~WM

Swati on February 5, 2010 at 8:08 PM said...

ok, I vote with someone up there to say I too like BLOGHOLE!!!

I highlighted your blog in my last post - come on by to peek when you can at:
http://www.thesinglemotherschronicles.com/2010/02/05/some-blogs-i-love/

Swati

Tracie on February 7, 2010 at 12:42 PM said...

Bloghole is going to be a big term around town. Loves it!

PS Hubs has already completed and submitted our taxes this year. (He usually waits till April 11th or so.) Guess who had to put out as a reward.

Louise on February 10, 2010 at 12:47 PM said...

That's funny! Here in Italy dodging taxes is kind of a national sport. And everyone enjoys it, even the Tax Man!

Vanessa Rogers on February 11, 2010 at 5:56 AM said...

I hate taxes! This is hilarious!

MommaKiss on February 11, 2010 at 7:49 AM said...

I'm a CPA. I hate tax season. That said - charitable deductions! All The Way!

The Absence of Alternatives on February 13, 2010 at 9:14 AM said...

We haven't even begun thinking about it yet...

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peddlarofdreams on August 15, 2010 at 11:44 PM said...

Very cool! And I love the word you coined - Bloghole! Nice!! :)

Ash on August 16, 2010 at 5:28 AM said...

My husband takes care of both, ehem, chores. I'm a lucky gal, he makes the best gin and tonics on the planet.

Enjoy your SiTS day!

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity on August 16, 2010 at 6:23 AM said...

Glad to know tht I was not the only one who had to bend over and grab my ankles last tax season. :) Happy SITS.

tiffany on August 16, 2010 at 12:53 PM said...

Happy SITS day! This is exactly why we went away from H&R to a bonafide accountant this past year. Comes in handy as we get a letter from the IRS this week.... Ugh!

JamericanSpice on August 16, 2010 at 3:38 PM said...

lol. Loves it and it's so true. Visiting from SITS. Happy SITS day!

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