Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cranberry Agita


















Here we are, gorgeous crisp autumn air, a stunning tree lined visual at every turn filled with plum, umber, magenta and golden yellow leafs clinging to their branches, my favorite of all high holy days…Halloween is just around the corner and all I can see is…..


My cup frothing over with impending family drama which will begin on Thanksgiving Day and end…well does it ever end?


It will commence, as always, with friendly, amicable hellos and how are yous. It will progress into small groups of Scrabble and Monopoly (which may very well lead to physical and emotional violence) and will ultimately end in everyone’s favorite pastime…


The Blame Game. All players are in. All ages and in-law status welcome. Leading up to ten to twenty years of pent up grievances and animosity in the Final-Showcase-Showdown. It’s going to be a great show.


I am your host, Nelly Neutral. Now let’s meet our contestants:


Husband- Extremely hotheaded but more often than not…. rrrri…rrrrr….riiiiiright.


Damn that hurt.


Sister in laws- a.k.a. Thing one and Thing two or Hypocritical and Pious. Hi and Pi for short. (You know…like shut your Pi-hole Hi)- Older gang-up sisters to Husband - Oh…forgot, I was supposed to be neutral.


Yeah, sorry, I don’t look good in beige. Moving on….


Mother-in-law- Who will not stick her neck out for either party in order to keep the peace. F@^*!EN take a side damn it! Ours. There, that was neutral-like.


And let’s not forget the Innocent Children for without them this game would not be possible because we would have no reason on God’s green earth to gather in the same room voluntarily otherwise.


Is forty-five minutes of not really great turkey worth the all the bitter conversation trimmings that will echo in phone calls and emails haunting both sides for the rest of the year?


Is it worth watching both sides’ organs imploding into a non edible side dish?


To find out the answers to these questions and more, join us next time for a game of Family or Farce!


Can’t we just stop at Halloween? Trick or treating. Costumes. Scarring the crap out of little children – legitimately?


BTW, I have scheduled two Thanksgivings this year. Back to back. One to celebrate with family and one to erase what happened the day before.


Last year’s celebration taught me well my friend.


I’m sure that my son will not be scared much by the underlying tension. They don’t even notice half the time. Kids are awesomely resilient that way. Stop lying to yourself


Then we grow up. Then we hold grudges. Then we get heartburn. Then we take pills. Then we drink…well, I’ve reserved my mental health breakdown bed have you?


All in favor of shortening Thanksgiving dinners to a thirty-minute-meal in Bikini Bottom, say Aye Aye Captain!


I can’t hear you!


All opposed…well… Come on over and bring a bottle! You’re welcome at my house for the Holidays.


You’d fit right in (-:!

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!
Now visit Lauren and witness all of her originality greatness!

Thank you my Jersey Girl Goddess!! Now go meet her @inannasstar.blogspot-No way you can resist!!!

Thank you my geeky friend!!! Now go check out Confessions of a Reforming Geek..she is way cool!

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?
If you have not met Diane, please check her out. You will not be sorry! You trust me right? Go!

Thank you to the Empress at Gooddayregularpeople- Go visit this magnificent blogger!!!

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?
She's totally awesome!! Go check her out and see!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks  to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!
Go check out the Screaming Me-Me for THE most captioning fun on the internet!!!! She's one of the friendliest Blog hosts out there!!!! Have fun & Caption away!!!!

Huge thanks to Nancy at ifevolutionworks.com for this award-Love this !!!

Thanks Heather @ twolittlemonkeysplushubby & Richele @underthegoldenappletree

Thanks so much to Margaret over at lollipopsandpickles.blogspot.com & Katsconfessions.blogspot.

Thanks so much to Margaret over at lollipopsandpickles.blogspot.com & Katsconfessions.blogspot.
Thanks to Tami xoxo@heartsmakefamilies.com & Richeleoxo@underthegoldenappletree.blogspot! Also to Hil'Lesha @ tothemotherhood.com-& Vicki @ frugalmomknowsbest.com & Amanda at bloggertowne.blogspot You guys rock!!!

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE
Another Awesome heartfelt thanks to the awesome Lauren @Thinkspin & multi-creative Robin @insightsandbellylaughs.com-find them ...follow them...go!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!
Thanks to my bloggy buddy @thewannabewahm.com for bestowing this award back to me and letting me keep a Rosie at home forever!!!!

Sunshine Makes My Day!! Many Thanks to Joy@ thepracticalmomguide & Ziva @Zivasinferno for the shine

 

Thank you Anat over at bsparkly.blogspot.com for this spectacular award!!!

HUGE thanks to Gabrielle @ thewifeyblogs.blogspot.com and Lisa @snugglebugglerockmom.blogspot.com!!

Thanks Lee!!!

Thanks Jenie for The Lady Ms Blogger Award! Visit her giving greatness @heniperrr.blogspot.com/

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/
Tamara-Thank you for this!!! xoxoxoxoox visit her at @ homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com xoxoxo

Thanks so much to Blia @ superheroesmom.com

Grab An Award-see below

Finally, you do not need to be a recipient of an award to give an award!

Grab An Award – My way of awarding it forward. The only rules are: THERE ARE NO RULES (Only rule is no rules? Rule for rules? Is that a rule? I’m so confused)

And what is nicer than giving an award with no strings attached just because?

So in the spirit of fun blog awarding and ‘cause I think they’re a great way to connect and share the blog love with our awesome fellow bloggers (without the chain letter affect-they give me the willies), I have created The Divine Blogger and Rock Star Blogger Awards to grab-I know, fancy right? -(o.k. so I won't quit my day job)

Grab it and let the lucky recipient (s) know that you have given them a rule-free award and not to be afraid to pick it up on your site. Once they grab it from your site, they are free to pass it along to others (rule-free of course). And anyone can grab it from their sites to pass on as well.

Hope you all enjoy awarding it forward!

Now hurry! Go make room in your closet for all that good karma. And please get rid of those old sweatpants while you're at it! (-:


The No Rules Rock Star Blogger Award

The No Rules Divine Blogger Award

Award Love Received

Thanks so much to Lisa at Grandmasbriefs.com (the Grandma sites got it going on yo) and Robyn at Simply Delightful and Tamara at homespunheartscandlesand Jane @agingmommyblog for this award. You guys are awesome!

Okay, here are my 10 honest things about myself:

1. I am an extremely well balanced individual

2. I am easily distracted

3. I don’t take rules seriously

4. I lied about number one (number 3 made me do it)

5. I have a short attention span

6. I often don’t finish what I sta..


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