Beware of Extra Large Bee Nets

Here’s a story

Of a crazy lady

Who was hearing things inside her big fat head

She would try to shut them up

With wine and valium

But they got worse instead…

(Yup, Brady Bunch theme song…ding ding ding!)

You’ve met the voices in my head right?

I call them they for short. Well they have been working overtime lately. I don’t know if it’s a vitamin or sanity deficiency at this point. And I was pretty sure that booze would be the answer but they seem to only get louder with this type of encouragement.

At what point does a person willfully commit themselves? Or are the blog police watching me right now with their nets held high?

In addition to hearing voices, I have developed a lovely case of germaphobia. Proud?

No more shaking hands with people. I gave it up along with stiff stuff hair spray.

The mere thought of what those other people might have touched could have me hermetically sealed in the house for a week! So when I know that someone will want to shake my hand, I purposely fill my arms with things and give them the sorry I can’t shake my hands are full look (works every time).

And I now view door handles in a whole other light. And it aint pretty.

But I have come to embrace my….new outlook on sanity. I don’t harshly judge myself or anyone else who has fallen victim to twitchy odd habits or uncontrollable mental setbacks.

It’s the only way to live! Plus the medication wore off an hour ago.

If I call myself crazy, well then I must be sane enough to aptly diagnosis a problem which deems me reasonable beyond a shadow of a doubt (the voices told me to add that last part- they saw it on CSI).

The voices are actually kind of fun-until the other side of my brain gets a hold of them and beats them down to a respectable level. Boring ass bastards.

I admit it. I like when the voices act up. Makes life and blog a most interesting place indeed.

For example, I can’t get this image out of my head.

See? The other side would never have permitted such nonsense. But the voices LOVES them some ass dumb nonsense! (feel free to caption the cat)

This is an outrage! They must be screaming. Sorry, can’t hear you…voices remember?

Anyone else afflicted? Isn’t it fun? (before they take us away, I mean).