Monday, October 5, 2009

Top 10 Things A New Mother Must Know













Top 10 things a New Mother Must know



# 1. Don’t let the baby eat dirt


(If the baby poops green…don’t worry)



#2 Don’t let the baby eat grass



#3 If the baby screams when you take away the bottle, chances are you didn’t put enough rum in it



#4 Should a rash develop, have yourself checked out immediately



#5 Mother in laws who think you are incompetent give helpful advice can become clumsy around this oughta take care of the old bat accidental kitchen spills



#6 Teething is normal. Stay away from baby if urge continues



#7 Don’t try to pawn the gas smell on the baby. We all know it was you



#8 Mothers and fathers do things differently and that’s o.k. The baby will grow up to know the truth love you both and realize that you are always there for them I do way more



#9 Sucking snot out of baby’s noise is to be expected. Using a straw is not.



#10 If screaming and crying persist, go into another room or you will wake the baby




9 comments:

Jeniel- what's wrong with mommy? on October 5, 2009 at 6:27 PM said...

This is hilarious! I love #3. So THAT'S why that kid wouldn't shut the hell up! lol Awesome blog!

Silvia on October 6, 2009 at 10:33 AM said...

This make me laugh so hard, you are very funny. I love your two-step rule, I think we should do more of that.

Great blog

Following you from MBC

natalee on October 12, 2009 at 6:21 PM said...

LOVE YOuR BLOG!!! Im following now....

Simplee Stated on October 15, 2009 at 6:02 AM said...

This is genius! So funny! Wish I knew these tips about two years ago!

Telecommuting Mom on October 15, 2009 at 8:19 PM said...

So funny. Following now! Great post. Saw you on MBC.
http://telecommutingmommies.blogspot.com
Alaina

sazucker on October 23, 2009 at 8:43 PM said...

I LOVE THIS!!! These are great :)

So glad I found you on MBC!!

I'm at http://pediatricsafety.net

jenie on October 27, 2009 at 7:52 PM said...

love your post! ths is my first read...will read more next time ;)

hope we can exch. links...
life round me N you
earthy me
at-a-blink
heartQUAKES

Clueless_Mama on October 28, 2009 at 5:19 PM said...

I love that! It is too funny. Thanks for sharing something fun. Following from MBC http://www.guessingalltheway.com

Angie on May 17, 2010 at 8:26 AM said...

Must stop reading your blog. I'm laughing so hard my face hurts!!! I'm following you now and also grabbing your button.

Oh, and I found you via SITS.

Post a Comment

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!
Now visit Lauren and witness all of her originality greatness!

Thank you my Jersey Girl Goddess!! Now go meet her @inannasstar.blogspot-No way you can resist!!!

Thank you my geeky friend!!! Now go check out Confessions of a Reforming Geek..she is way cool!

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?
If you have not met Diane, please check her out. You will not be sorry! You trust me right? Go!

Thank you to the Empress at Gooddayregularpeople- Go visit this magnificent blogger!!!

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?
She's totally awesome!! Go check her out and see!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks  to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!
Go check out the Screaming Me-Me for THE most captioning fun on the internet!!!! She's one of the friendliest Blog hosts out there!!!! Have fun & Caption away!!!!

Huge thanks to Nancy at ifevolutionworks.com for this award-Love this !!!

Thanks Heather @ twolittlemonkeysplushubby & Richele @underthegoldenappletree

Thanks so much to Margaret over at lollipopsandpickles.blogspot.com & Katsconfessions.blogspot.

Thanks so much to Margaret over at lollipopsandpickles.blogspot.com & Katsconfessions.blogspot.
Thanks to Tami xoxo@heartsmakefamilies.com & Richeleoxo@underthegoldenappletree.blogspot! Also to Hil'Lesha @ tothemotherhood.com-& Vicki @ frugalmomknowsbest.com & Amanda at bloggertowne.blogspot You guys rock!!!

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE
Another Awesome heartfelt thanks to the awesome Lauren @Thinkspin & multi-creative Robin @insightsandbellylaughs.com-find them ...follow them...go!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!
Thanks to my bloggy buddy @thewannabewahm.com for bestowing this award back to me and letting me keep a Rosie at home forever!!!!

Sunshine Makes My Day!! Many Thanks to Joy@ thepracticalmomguide & Ziva @Zivasinferno for the shine

 

Thank you Anat over at bsparkly.blogspot.com for this spectacular award!!!

HUGE thanks to Gabrielle @ thewifeyblogs.blogspot.com and Lisa @snugglebugglerockmom.blogspot.com!!

Thanks Lee!!!

Thanks Jenie for The Lady Ms Blogger Award! Visit her giving greatness @heniperrr.blogspot.com/

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @ http://robyns-page.blogspot.com/
Tamara-Thank you for this!!! xoxoxoxoox visit her at @ homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com xoxoxo

Thanks so much to Blia @ superheroesmom.com

Grab An Award-see below

Finally, you do not need to be a recipient of an award to give an award!

Grab An Award – My way of awarding it forward. The only rules are: THERE ARE NO RULES (Only rule is no rules? Rule for rules? Is that a rule? I’m so confused)

And what is nicer than giving an award with no strings attached just because?

So in the spirit of fun blog awarding and ‘cause I think they’re a great way to connect and share the blog love with our awesome fellow bloggers (without the chain letter affect-they give me the willies), I have created The Divine Blogger and Rock Star Blogger Awards to grab-I know, fancy right? -(o.k. so I won't quit my day job)

Grab it and let the lucky recipient (s) know that you have given them a rule-free award and not to be afraid to pick it up on your site. Once they grab it from your site, they are free to pass it along to others (rule-free of course). And anyone can grab it from their sites to pass on as well.

Hope you all enjoy awarding it forward!

Now hurry! Go make room in your closet for all that good karma. And please get rid of those old sweatpants while you're at it! (-:


The No Rules Rock Star Blogger Award

The No Rules Divine Blogger Award

Award Love Received

Thanks so much to Lisa at Grandmasbriefs.com (the Grandma sites got it going on yo) and Robyn at Simply Delightful and Tamara at homespunheartscandlesand Jane @agingmommyblog for this award. You guys are awesome!

Okay, here are my 10 honest things about myself:

1. I am an extremely well balanced individual

2. I am easily distracted

3. I don’t take rules seriously

4. I lied about number one (number 3 made me do it)

5. I have a short attention span

6. I often don’t finish what I sta..


Finger Linkin' Blogs

A Must Read Award

A Must Read Award

Who's with me?

MrsBlogAlot.com Copyright © 2009 Blogger Template Designed by Ipietoon for Tadpole's Notez. Button Design, Template Modification, Installation and Setup by MommyDoodlesDesign.com