I feel a severe bout of strange coming on.
Something unthinkable happened this holiday season.
I might even be talking to you from another dimension right now…I’m still not sure.
Not sure because if there is one thing I can depend on every holiday season, year in and year out…come hell or ...OK, just hell... it’s
Family Drama at Christmas.
Scream filled hallways splattered with insults and slights.
Legendary rifts dividing loved ones to separate corners forever....
So imagine my surprise when, with 2005 and 2008 grudge notes firmly in hand,
…it never came.
Maybe they were waiting until after dinner this time to begin the fallout festivities.
But even after the appropriate compliments on the food and dibs on leftovers were all said and done….
Perhaps after suffering through each person’s sorry-ass, eight count piano rendition of Heart and Soul…
Were they waiting for me to start?
‘cause I can do this.
“Soooo how’s work going?” my sister in law asks as she slides herself onto the seat across from me.
Finally, here it comes.
I see my husband throw me a conspiring go-get-‘em wink.
I shoot him back my best Lock and Load heads up.
“Not bad, putting in a lot of hours, you know, trying to make it work”
“That’s great. I envy you trying something different at this stage of your life. I wish I had the guts to try something else”
“…OH YEAH? WELL WHAT ABOUT THE TIME WHEN YOU SAID….huh?....wha?...
OK, hold on here comes my other sister in law…a.k.a. Thing Two…. Now this is gonna be good.
“Hey I loved that cake you brought. It was delicious and wow your hair grew back so fast. It looks great!”
ALRIGHT, WHO’S DYING?
“Could you tell me who cuts your hair? I really need a new stylist”
“…GRRRRRRR.....I’ll email you the number…”
Am I dying?
What the HELL is happening here???!!
And it went on like this ALL night!
No bloodbath over Monopoly, no bruised feelings over past brawls that were securely embedded last time I checked.
What’s this world coming to when you can’t even depend on the annual Christmas fight that fuels us with the anger in which we’ve become accustomed to the entire year long?
Respective in-laws retreating into their cars to discuss the “can you believe’s” and “how could theys”.
The annual added layer of bitterness that helps build and sustain the completely, unhealthy drama that is so distinctively our family?
Don’t tell me I’ll have to find something else to talk to my husband about now.
All's I know is that 2010 ended with confusion and a well-prepared list of unspoken insults burning a hole in my stomach.
But, as the New Year rolled in..... it all became perfectly clear.
They're plotting to kill me.
Finally some action!
How was your family drama? (-: