Ahem....
My name is Mom and I .....
I am a....
I am an Obsessive Worrying Ass.
My worry today and everyday?......
Not Doing It Right
Perhaps this worry is the reason that I am so nosy observant around other parents.
I eavesdrop pay close attention to them interacting with their kids at a restraining order type distance every opportunity.
Am I doing it right?
As a mother, this question swirls around my heart and head at least fifty-three villion times a day.
Sometimes I am able to lose it amongst all the other worries but some days I can almost feel the weight of the dark red pencil circling over my head marking me for failure.
Have I ruined him for all screeching-hormonal-females everywhere?
How much will he hate me for this when he gets older?
What portion of this can I successfully turn around and blame on my husband?
So many questions.
What I do know is that I am secretly waiting for him to turn to me one day and say
‘Mom, …You know what? You’re doing a really great job with me’
I realize that tears and bribery don't work this might never happen.
But wait for it I do.
Wait and worry.
Is anyone out there ‘doing it right’?
....as in blaming it on your husband?
Posts
30 comments:
i don't think anyone is 'doing it right'...especially me. i think we all just try to do the best we can and the best we know how, picking up tips and lessons on the way. it's unfortunate that we don't get an owner's manual for each kid.
hang in there...i'm sure you're doing a great job!
I'm with Noelle. You sound like an awesome mom to me.
No one knows our kids better that we do and if our methods are different, it doesn't mean we're not doing it right!
I don't think any of us is really doing it "right." Instead, we do it the best we can and try to learn from our mistakes.
I know I'm not doing it right. Even if I was they would find something to blame me for. My motto is "Put another quarter in the therapy jar".
I never did it right and sometimes it was just sheer hell for all of us -- my daughters, me, my husband, the dog. But now that all three of them (the girls, not the dog or husband) are in their mid to late 20s, each one of them has told me that they're so thankful for the things I did for them and that they think I was (and still am) a good mom. They were spoken WORDS, not in a greeting card and not on Mother's Day. So as long as your child knows he's loved, you're doing the right thing.
I don't think anyone does it right. We do it to the best of our ability. We do our best and we can't do more than that.
I think the best we can do is what's "right" for our kids. My "right" is not the same as another's. We all just try our best and do what's "right" for our families.
I'm pretty sure I'm not doing it right. I didn't realize anyone else worried like that. I love you for admitting it.
I believe we all do the best we can which is "right" for us in any given situation.
Yeah wait and worry and obsess...just to wake up tomorrow and start again...that IS parenting....and in between you can give a little here, get a little there and just keep loving them...mine are older (18-21) and I thought it got easier...but no it just gets different...and at some point you just gotta say.."I did the best I could with what I knew"...and you know what...That's all everyone can do...and hey.. did'nt we turn out just GREAT..!!
None of us are perfect...we live and learn. I think we feel our way through motherhood, doing the best we can at any given moment hoping we've done the right thing. Sounds like you are a great mom!
There is no one right way to do it because every child is different! What works for one may not work for another. Your mom instincts will never fail you. Just follow them!!!
I don't think he'll realize it until he's a father himself.
oh god. this scares me for my future mom self. I obsess
I worry. I wonder if I am doing it wrong. I am resentful of how others seem to have it together. In other words, I'm normal.
I think this is a common worry for every mom ... I know my little man is only 6months and I already worry about these types of things ... lol I love the "successfully blame on husband" part ;-)
If you need to feel like a good mom who is doing it all right, come hang around my house for a couple days! Im screwing up all over the place.
We're all going through the motions blindly here. Motherhood is interesting, isn't it? We try our best and hope we don't screw 'em up in the process. My brother said to me recently that a friend said that infamous quote (by whom, I have no clue!) "It doesn't matter what you do now, they're all going to wind up on the couch anyway!" {Hugs}
I gave up worrying if I was doing it right a few years ago when he was in college 'cause he knew everything anyway. He has since graduated from college, living on his own for the past 3 months, 13 days, 27 minutes and 2 seconds and has not asked for money, has not knocked on the door wanting his room back, but did tell me that he's not so crazy about this "real world" we'd all been telling him about. Yesssss!
I can't imagine anything more terrifying than bringing another human being into this world and then having to be responsible for them. It's been all I can do to raise a happy, healthy, well-mannered Chihuahua.
I just try to do the best that I can. That's all I can do, my best. Sometimes it is enough, sometimes it isn't. But at least I try to do what I think is right at the time.
You win some, you lose some.
We all fall/fell short every. single. day. It's a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants gig, and I don't know about you, but I'm not always at my best extemporaneously.
You are a genius when it comes to highlighting these fun topics.
I hear ya! I always worry! It's a Mom thing;) Your doing a Great Job....;)
If you consider closets and kibble 'doing it right,' then I suppose I'm guilty.
Wait a minute; I'm doing it right. Now, if I could just convince my kids of this...
I don't think I did IT right. I didn't get any kids.
;-)
I've taken "doing it wrong" to a whole new level. But it seems to be working for me since my kids learn the right way because they don't want to mess up like me.
I did get a pat on the back from my ex#1's current wife. She said I had done a great job raising my son. That was better than hearing it from my kid or his dad. There ain't no one as critical as the current wife/stepmom.
i wish i am too...but 4 yrs is not much of an experience yet. but i still believe that i can DO IT RIGHT because I have the Higher Power with me in it ;)
you really have a way with words huh! wonderful writing as always!
remember me? it's been a while friend. hope you'll visit again ;)
I think the great thing about parenting is that there really isn't one right way or another...there are many ways that work for many different people. You're doing just fine mama!!!
~WM
You know my goal: Let them not turn out to be serial killers. Even at that, I worry about it...
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