So here’s what I learned while on vacation:
The world is broken down into two distinctive groups of people:
Oh, how fun!
What damned idiot thought of that crap?
I clearly fall into the latter group as I watch an electric roller coaster car vertically shuttle a brave group of well insured fear factor maniacs high enough to see all of their individual Gods.
And can someone please tell me why are there soooo many Gods and only one devil anyway?
I mean, what if they had to choose up teams for a baseball game or something?
“Okay” Jehovah shouts “I’ll take Allah, Buddha and Jesus. Christ, hurry up will ya, I have to watch my people go knocking on doors”
Devil gives them all the evil eye and Team God captain shouts,
“Well, looks like it’s just you against us again Devil.”
“Hell, I ain’t worried; you guys are all scared to death of me anyway. All I have to do is throw one fire fastball and you preaching pansy asses will go running like bitches under Mother Nature’s skirt”
Way off track.
But I do worry about these things.
Anyway, back up in crap-your-pants-land… you can feel their heartbeats thrumming with fright and anticipation as each drawled out clack clack clack gets higher and higher to the peak of their imminent doom.
OHMYGODS are murmured throughout the crowd of craned necked-onlookers as they silently thank their own higher ups that their feet are firmly planted on concrete and not in some rising death trap.
And then it comes, the well awaited fiercely, dramatic coaster downfall back to earth.
Yeah, you won’t ever catch me on that line.
The other thing I learned while on vacation?
….I am THE biggest white cracker chicken ass you will ever wanna meet.
How about you? Are you a daredevil?