Monday, March 1, 2010

An Empty Cage Never Gets Dirty









“I’m worried” I whispered to my husband in the kitchen while our visiting friends were sitting out of earshot in our living room.


“What now?” He half-cared asked


“What if she takes it the wrong way?”


“Who takes what the wrong way?”


“You know what I just said”


“What did you say?”


Blowing the hair out of my face in aggravation because he, once again, can’t read my mind, I whisper-shriek “I said that I was worried about her”


“So? What’s so wrong about that?”


“I said that I was worried about how she worried so much!”


“Should I call 911?”


“Shut up! I’m serious, you know how she worries”


“So why the hell did you bring it up then?”


Ughhh!! Because I’m worried!!!”


“So let me get this straight, if at all humanly possible, you are worried because she is worried that you are worried because she’s worried?”


“EXACTLY!” Sheesh..Finally! “So what should I do?”


After several rib jabs to indicate that I indeed was waiting for some kind of response he says-


“I vote for drinking. Sobriety’s not for everyone you know” He handed me a beer “Please, think of the children”


Booze, Boobs and Baseball. A guy’s life is so mentally uncluttered isn’t it?

(-:


40 comments:

Robin on March 2, 2010 at 4:51 AM said...

Ok Now Im worried...about you worrying about him...have a beer, and accept the fact that men ARE limited...but they have their good points too...at least he cares about the kids...besides we have our own B's...Blogs, Bags and BFF's....I hope your friend's OK..

Daffy on March 2, 2010 at 5:36 AM said...

Damn ovaries....

Cheers!

My name is PJ. on March 2, 2010 at 5:44 AM said...

Sobriety is not for everybody!!!! I like him! Am I on your sh&* list for saying that? I like you better. (How did I do?)

Joann Mannix on March 2, 2010 at 5:49 AM said...

This is my husband's response to EVERYTHING, "They're fiiiiine." I could say the kids pants are on fire from all their lying and he'd be sitting there, yes, with a beer in his hand, saying, "They're fiiiine."

He has no feelings and he hates movies about feelings or talking about feelings. It's the penis brain.

ReformingGeek on March 2, 2010 at 6:02 AM said...

Men don't have much worry-capacity in their brains. Sometimes I think that would be nice.

Is it too early for a beer?

The Boob Nazi on March 2, 2010 at 7:08 AM said...

haha (I can't think of anything funny or clever to say)

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on March 2, 2010 at 8:26 AM said...

Really cute, funny, fun.

Moooooog35 on March 2, 2010 at 8:28 AM said...

DID SOMEONE SAY 'BOOBS?!?!?!'

MommaKiss on March 2, 2010 at 9:38 AM said...

If I ever hear "fine" from my husband - he gets the look. A Major Look. I HATE that word. Such a cop out. Men need to up their skills, I swear to God.

Me-Me King on March 2, 2010 at 9:59 AM said...

Pass the booze and the barbiturates! There goes all of my worries.

B Sparkly on March 2, 2010 at 10:40 AM said...

I’ve got a lil’ something for you at my place:)
Anat

Vintage Christine on March 2, 2010 at 10:41 AM said...

How come we got the worry gene and they didn't? Or was it passed over to us along with that rib back in them Bible times? It's so bad that when hubby DOES get worried about something I completely freak out because he never worries so when he does that means it's FOR REAL AND THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! He also thinks I get hysterical too much, ha ha.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip on March 2, 2010 at 10:43 AM said...

Sobriety is not for everyone. Your husband is adorable. And so are you. Loved this post! The quintessential conversation between a woman and a man.

blueviolet on March 2, 2010 at 11:13 AM said...

Based on this little snippet, I can't help but wonder if your husband wasn't right. lol ;)

SOULBLOGGER on March 2, 2010 at 12:06 PM said...

great Sobriety is not for everyone. this is just so damn cool a line infact i find it a bit cheesy will try it on some gal for sure

The Girl Next Door Grows Up on March 2, 2010 at 2:26 PM said...

Men! They just don't get it!

LMJ on March 2, 2010 at 2:48 PM said...

YOU'VE SAID IT! The 3 B's!!!

BugginWord on March 2, 2010 at 3:28 PM said...

I'm not ready to talk about alcohol yet. Shhh. Can you turn the lights and the radio down a little please?

The Blue Zoo on March 2, 2010 at 3:54 PM said...

hhhhmmm, Im worried. =)

Im worried that you werent drinking already.

Aunt Juicebox on March 2, 2010 at 4:06 PM said...

My husband hates baseball....can we exchange that B word for bacon instead?

Katherine on March 2, 2010 at 4:22 PM said...

Dang. I'm worried I won't leave the right comment.

Hey, how many times does the word Worry show up on this page? That thought worries me!

Lauren on March 2, 2010 at 4:42 PM said...

My husband's listening abilities improves with each jab to the gut. I think his auditory switch is located there and the jabbing adjusts the volume.

Cybil on March 2, 2010 at 5:51 PM said...

Seriously - my husband cannot even keep up with a conversation. I have watched my 7 year old daughter completely lose him when she changes subjects too quickly! It's a guy thing.

Captain Dumbass on March 2, 2010 at 6:05 PM said...

Can I exchange the baseball for hockey? This was like reading a conversation with my wife.

tattytiara on March 2, 2010 at 10:34 PM said...

Well as long as the two of you have all of the worrying handled, that kind of does leave the rest of us free to sit around drinking beer, doesn't it?

Gillian on March 3, 2010 at 12:45 AM said...

Keep the baseball, booze and boobs.

Confessions From A Working Mom on March 3, 2010 at 4:57 AM said...

My husband is always telling me not to worry, don't stress, everything's fine... why can't men understand that women worry by nature? It's WHO we are!

Thanks for stopping by today! Your comment made me laugh!

~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom

Riding the Roller Coaster on March 3, 2010 at 5:12 AM said...

What do men know about anything?! Clearly wine is more effective than beer!

Swati on March 3, 2010 at 6:13 AM said...

Ha - LOL! I don't think the *other* gender will ever understand why we worry and don't just focus on the 3B's!!
Swati

Jen on March 3, 2010 at 7:32 AM said...

They just don't get it, and that worries me. I have to agree that sobriety is not for everyone but wine is a much better choice than beer, less time in the powder room where you might be tempted to look in other people's medicine cabinets. Too much to worry about.

Yankee Girl on March 3, 2010 at 8:46 AM said...

Sometimes drinking really does cure everything. I don't worry about a damn thing when I have a glass of wine in my hand!

Cheryl on March 3, 2010 at 9:43 AM said...

Over from SITS..

Your husband sounds like a very patient guy! If not very bright.. KIDDING! Maybe I shouldn't kid on my first comment on a blog? Now I'm worried you won't like me. I think I need a beer...

http://specialsauceinthehouse.blogspot.com

drollgirl on March 3, 2010 at 4:45 PM said...

bah! i am a worrier, so i relate to this. and men. yeesh. sometimes i think all their brains are filled with are boobs, games, tv, food.

The Absence of Alternatives on March 3, 2010 at 5:06 PM said...

"I vote for drinking. Sobriety’s not for everyone you know... Please, think of the children"

LOL. I think You have found your match in Mr. B!

Frugal Vicki on March 3, 2010 at 5:11 PM said...

OMG, I can not tell you how many times I have heard "should I call 0-11" buttheads.

Anyway, I have an award for you on my blog!

hypermom on March 4, 2010 at 5:31 AM said...

I know what you mean; things are much simpler for guys :)

Sophia's Mom on March 4, 2010 at 11:50 AM said...

"Think of the children" <-- Love it!
LOL!!!!!
That is FANTASTIC!

I'm a worried too... Shall we toast?

Unknown Mami on March 5, 2010 at 12:56 PM said...

Your husband is a prophet.

Ziva on March 10, 2010 at 2:27 PM said...

"Think of the children" That's awesome. Although, I don't understand what his problem was, it seemed pretty straightforward to me. Men can be so complicated.

Linda Medrano on March 10, 2010 at 7:34 PM said...

This is scary because I see nothing wrong with it.

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