I went to the movies.
And now I'm mad.
I cut my hair a few months ago thinking that it would be the more “age appropriate” thing to do and then WTF happens?......
I’ll tell you what happened….
Oh, I’ll tell you alright…
F*^ken Brooke Shields has to go and make me look like an old-aged-appropriate-shoulder length piece of dung that’s what!
Her and that still long hair of hers.
I mean, could she look any more gorgeous?
At this age…our age???
Do me a favor Lagoon girl; stop shoving how well you are aging up my nostrils. The jealousy is eating straight through the nose hairs right up to my brain.
And my brain can’t take much more. Trust me.
…I’m watching the movie….looking…squinting even for any imperfection.
ANY imperfection AT ALL.
Surely the big screen can be unkind to you at some brightly lit angle?
Awww common man!
Give me a break!
Didn’t you put us through enough in the 80’s?
Didn’t I even do the big eyebrows thing in a supreme gesture of flattering imitation way back when?
Must you make my midlife miserable too?
And why can you still pull off those eyebrows post 1982 while I, on the other hand, must fight daily with a tweezers?
Jeeeez! Go put on some Calvins that don’t fit you anymore...break a nail...something.
If I overdose on Miracle Grow, somebody call 911 k?