Monday, April 18, 2011

Mad Blog Scientist


















I think I want to start a series of articles entitled “I’m Just Sayin'’”



I'm pretty sure I could get a lot of miles out of this one.


The thought arrived at my blog front door when I heard my Mother-in-Law telling my son that not saying "God Bless You" when someone sneezes is bad manners.



Bad manners?



Yeah, I’ve heard the ancient sneeze tale also but still never considered saying or not saying “Bless You” part of my manner repertoire.



Who cares if you sneeze?




I’m just sayin’




I don’t even care if you cough really-unless you were choking



And only then because I could finally practice that Heimlich I’ve seen so much about on posters.



So what would happen if the world stopped saying “Bless You” after a sneeze?



(cue lightening flash of scary clowns optional)



Well you know I had to try it.




And so for one whole week whenever someone sneezed I said NOTHING.



That’s right. NOTHING!




Well you’d think I’d committed rabbit rape the way they all stared at me in my non-reflective silence.



While I waited for lightening to strike, and they waited for me to say “Bless You” I decided to burp without saying excuse me.





I figured I was on a roll.






(insert next mental check up date here)





WHAT?...NOTHING after a sneeze...





Oh my OdGay!





And did the world come to an end?



Did those little people under the stairs in Let's Scare Jessica To Death finally come and get me (because I always knew they would)




NO.




Nothing happened.






...So nobody sits with me at lunch anymore.



Screw them.



Assholes can't take a little experiment.




And don't think they'll be getting a gesundheit out of me either!







Bad manners or bad habbit?…you be the judge



Just sayin’




I feel a second series coming on very soon... (-:

32 comments:

Simply Suthern on April 18, 2011 at 10:22 AM said...

Never knew folks were so hung up on that. Hmmmm

Is funny tho that strangers will do it.

You're a woman on the edge aint cha?

Linda Medrano on April 18, 2011 at 11:08 AM said...

Oh Honey, I'm a total pagan and don't feel obliged to do the old "Bless you" routine. But then the song "God Bless America" pisses me off too. They should have to sing the "Budha bless American" and "Allah Bless American" and "Krishna bless America" versions too, or just skip it all together. Move to the San Francisco area, and avoid those pesky inlaws. I'll be your best friend and teach you a lot of heathen ways!

ReformingGeek on April 18, 2011 at 11:14 AM said...

I can see that Evil Twin has worn off on you. Good for you taking a stand bum I'm sorry you now have to sit by yourself at lunch.

I bet you let the door close on the folks behind you, don't you?

Kidding. Kidding. That WOULD be bad manners.

Ouch!

Oh, and ACH-OOO!

...

**crickets**


Ahem.

Ahem.

Sigh.

ReformingGeek on April 18, 2011 at 11:15 AM said...

Oops. BUT not Bum....or maybe I really meant bum...

Jayne Martin on April 18, 2011 at 1:44 PM said...

You burped without saying "excuse me." LOL!

I never thought about this whole issue before. I've always said the requisite "God bless you" pretty much by rote -- sometimes shortening it to just a "bless you" which seems to suffice, as well.

Well, now... This calls into question a whole manner (pun intended) of little rituals, doesn't it.

Just sayin'. ;)

Lisa@GrandmasBriefs on April 18, 2011 at 3:33 PM said...

I love the series idea and look forward to it.

I personally abhor when a stranger in line at the grocery store sneezes and six people nearby feel obligated to offer a "bless you." Ridiculous. Now, if it's my grandson sneezing, I do offer a "bless you." But he's my baby, so that's okay. Just sayin' ... !

Coffeypot on April 18, 2011 at 6:22 PM said...

I don't care about the bless you as much as I do about the coughing and gagging when I fart. They are just trying to make me feel bad and embarrassing me in public.

Brahm (alfred lives here) on April 18, 2011 at 7:58 PM said...

Rabbit Rape?

Yikes... you sure know how to make a point hit home, don't cha????

Other than that disturbing rabbit visual, I want more of this - great post!

Captain Dumbass on April 18, 2011 at 9:56 PM said...

"Bless you" came about during the Black Plague because they thought an evil spirit would sneak into your body after you sneezed, like your defenses were down or something. Of course, they also canonized dogs at the time, but people can get a little crazy during a plague. Rabbit rapers.

The Blue Zoo on April 18, 2011 at 11:41 PM said...

lmao - Im still laughing over rabbit rape! You crack me up.

Robin on April 19, 2011 at 3:58 AM said...

That would be a great blog series..."Im just Sayin"...do it..!Now as for the sneezing...Im with the Grandma...not that it is bad manners...but in our family..if its not said...we are all like..."HELLOOOOO...I just sneezed..!"..for some reason its a necessity ....and for the life of me I dont know why..!..I love how you threw in the burping without saying excuse me...Perfecto..!

Midwestern Mama Holly on April 19, 2011 at 4:31 AM said...

I think this new series would be great!! Juss sayin!! :)

Patty Punker on April 19, 2011 at 1:48 PM said...

i really don't like having to say thank you to all of those god-blessers especially when i got a sneeze fit coming on. then they go and say it again before i thanked them for the first blessing. the expectations become pretty damn ridiculous, don't ya think? so yeah, i endorse your little experiment and say gimme more.

drollgirl on April 19, 2011 at 3:11 PM said...

i recently got in trouble at work for not saying GOOD NIGHT when i left for the day. so fucking stupid. i like to sneak out so that i don't get asked to do ONE LAST THING before i leave. grrr

ManOverBoard.com on April 19, 2011 at 5:49 PM said...

Oh you are bad gurl, totally bad and with no manners either. My kinda woman ;-) yeehaa

Lauren on April 19, 2011 at 8:36 PM said...

Bless you! That was for the burp. I only care if someone sneezes in my face, and then I would use a far stronger phrase than "Bless You!" while still retaining the integrity of the "you" and replacing the "bless" with a more colorful verb.

Damn it! We should all withhold the "bless yous!" Let them sneeze then squirm.

Ziva on April 20, 2011 at 12:09 AM said...

Great. You stopped saying "bless you" just in time for the world to end in 2012. Coincidence? I think not. Please don't kill us all by bringing the apocalypse down on us.

Over here we don't involve God in the whole sneezing business. We say "prosit", which basically means "for your health," which sort of makes sense because generally when you sneeze you're coming down with something or have an allergic reaction or something, you don't sneeze because the devil is about to eat your soul and you need God's blessing to kick the devil's ass.

Yankee Girl on April 20, 2011 at 9:36 AM said...

I'm a bless you person simply out of habit, not for the manners. But now I think I am going to stop saying it for a while and see how people react. I love doing social experiments!

Cake Betch on April 21, 2011 at 7:23 AM said...

Hahaha I dated a guy once that would get MAD AT ME if I didn't say Bless You. He brought this up once in an ARGUMENT. W-T-F? I don't CARE if you sneeze and I don't really think it needs to be acknowledged when someone does. If I do say Bless You, then fantastic, otherwise it was a sneeze. Let's all get on with our lives now.

Katherine on April 21, 2011 at 8:11 PM said...

Oh Oh Oh! I have one I have one!!! I might blog about it so shhh don't tell... but my daughter's BEST quote of the week, after seeing me change:

"Mom, your ta-ta's are a little saggy..."

I'm just sayin!!!!

June O'Hara on April 22, 2011 at 10:09 AM said...

You could finally practice the Heimlich, like you've seen on posters. Classic. Personally, I live in fear that I'll someday be called upon to give CPR. I'd probably kill the poor slob....

The Empress on April 23, 2011 at 2:34 PM said...

People are so nutz.

You just go on blessing.

Like the pope.

G-Zell on April 24, 2011 at 12:01 PM said...

Happy Easter!

-E- on April 25, 2011 at 6:08 PM said...

i definitely is bad manners. but i'm on a mission to change that because it's based on a silly superstition.

Wicked on April 26, 2011 at 7:11 AM said...

Committed rabbit rape! I am totally stealing this hilarious line! I love it.

To the point, bad manners make for interesting people......well, within reason.

Annie (Lady M) x on April 27, 2011 at 8:51 PM said...

I too wondered about why people say 'God Bless You' after someone else sneezes.

Apparently, it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open, and according to medieval times, the devil can only enter your body when your mouth is open and your eyes are closed.

So yeh, you are right. It is total old-hat bollocks.

Rabbit rape is far more contemporary, and I will find a rabbit and try it post-haste.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on April 28, 2011 at 12:10 PM said...

My son's babysitter used to say, "Scat!" when someone sneezed. Apparently it's a Youngstown area and/or African American thing. So my son grew up saying, "Scat!" when someone sneezed. Talk about weird looks.

People from Kentucky don't say "God bless you" when someone sneezes. I lived there four years and I never got used to it. It just struck me as rude. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I like God bless yous. Scats are OK, too.

Sandra on May 2, 2011 at 9:33 AM said...

I actually had a high school teacher get very upset at us students because we didn't say God Bless You after he sneezed. Apparently his soul left his body after the sneeze and us not saying God Bless You meant he wasn't getting it back. Well, I felt like saying: "That ship sailed a while ago, bud," but i didn't because his head was spinning.
However, I would love the try the not-saying-excuse-me after the burp experiment!

blueviolet on May 3, 2011 at 12:22 PM said...

I wonder why we do feel such pressure to say something. It's really the most unusual thing.

Robin on May 8, 2011 at 6:27 AM said...

Hi There Lovely Lady..Happy mothers day to you..! I hope you have a day filled with peace and Joy....or excitement and adventure...or both...whatever makes your day...!!

Katie Gates on May 9, 2011 at 11:39 AM said...

I say "bless you" after someone burps. Is that polite?

Katherine on May 9, 2011 at 6:39 PM said...

If someone burps in my house, I say, "Good oneeeee!" Is that bad?

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