Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Blogger Gets the Led Out






















Hey, remember when I had a blog?




I’ve missed you guys…don't make me call the Obvious Police on my first day back K?





...Anyone still out there?












Out there










Out there













Out there









Wow I look skinny















Skinny










Skinny









Skinny











Echoes can be fun yo.






Don’t worry about me; talking to myself has become a self-healing art form.





So with the exception of the madness that is my daily commuter bus ...aka, Mobile Prison, I love my new gig.








And really how wrong could it possibly be to want to take a number 2 pencil and stab the living hell out of a few inconsiderate bus riding commuters.... you know, just the ones holding the un-muted hand held devices?









Those that continue to breathe.









Only make them bleed long enough to hemorrhage and burst one of their most necessary arteries.








...To have the pleasure of watching them explode right before my very eyes...










….Ecstasy









Just sayin'







But the good news is that my new insurance covers all the new Bus Rage I can muster.









And I’m an excellent musterer btw.








I figured out that if I tell the doctors that the Bus o' Rage is a side effect of my yeast infection they have to treat me.







It could happen.








I know how to work a system people.






Ok back to the pencil killing.




Like I ever left it.





So here’s the plan-I figure if just one if us takes the hit and makes the news for vigilante Led Homicide everywhere those inconsiderate whore stains will think twice before taking out their phones to have a conversation about NOTHING thus disturbing 49 other potential Led Pencil Killing commuters at 5:30 in the morning...




come on, just one tiny stab...












Stab










Stab













Stab






I'm going to get the sharpener. Nobody try to stop me.














VIBRATE BUTTON Whore Bag!!!!! It's not just for masturbating anymore!!!!











Ahem,












sorry…









So I'm well.














How goes it by all of you?










16 comments:

Simply Suthern on September 19, 2011 at 5:19 AM said...

Before I start I want you to know my phone is always on vibrate.

Secondly, Welcome back, I think.

LMAO, You sure know how to make a re-entrance dont cha?

Not so sure this new gig is going to work out for you unless you can find a different means of transportation because once you get on the prison bus, it only makes one stop.

BugginWord on September 19, 2011 at 7:21 AM said...

Rufus wrote this song for you, I'm pretty sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBpYllqdIMc

Robin on September 19, 2011 at 1:28 PM said...

Well at least you got the insurance and the happy new gig..Im glad you love it...sounds like old times though...your still blogging royalty.....I hope your new coworkers realize what they have in you...fun, originality and charisma...do you get paid more for that..?

ReformingGeek on September 19, 2011 at 1:31 PM said...

Oh dear. I hope the insurance pays for good meds.

I would already be on the prison bus....but I'd be smiling.

Welcome back!

Lisa@GrandmasBriefs on September 20, 2011 at 9:50 PM said...

Welcome back!

I abhor unmuted commuters, too. And unmuted shoppers, diners, movie-goers (especially movie-goers!). It's called consideration, folks.

Nice to see you haven't lost your charm. I, too, hope you get the meds you need. And maybe a little less caffeine, my friend. :o)

Linda Medrano on September 21, 2011 at 3:40 PM said...

Damn! I've missed you! I'm so happy you be back! Hell Yeah! Girl, if they send you to prison, just tell them you want San Quentin. That's very close to me and I can bring you soap and candy bars and files. (So we can organize your escape of course!) I'd go on the lam with you if need be! I really am so happy to see your pretty face!!!

blueviolet on September 21, 2011 at 4:54 PM said...

I'm glad you like your job, but dang you are missed here in blog world!!!! Go ahead and make a stabbing. You have our permission.

Patty Punker on October 2, 2011 at 2:15 PM said...

i always get the insurance company to pay for my recreational, rage-mitigating drugs. why pay street prices?

some chick next to me on the train cleaned out her ears with a q-tip. pass the led!

Katherine on October 2, 2011 at 7:32 PM said...

Oh how I have missed you LOLOL!!!!

Joann Mannix on October 4, 2011 at 6:36 AM said...

Mrs. B!

You have been missed!

I'll join you in the stabbing, although mine would be for gum snappers. And I'm serious. Stabbing sounds great, especially at 5:30 in the morning, because that is just not a nice time for anything but sleeping.

Lauren on October 5, 2011 at 5:23 PM said...

Crap! I didn't see this.

I'm sooooo glad you're posting again and that you love your new job. I'm with you on sticking it to those bastards. They're all number twos in my book. The punishment fits the crime.

I don't know how to create a blogroll in WordPress that includes everyones recent posts. I have to go back to my old haunt to see what's going on. I feel discombobulated. I actually spelled it right!

Jayne Martin on October 16, 2011 at 10:06 AM said...

"VIBRATE BUTTON Whore Bag!!!!! It's not just for masturbating anymore!!!!"

Damn you. I just snorted hot coffee out my nose and all over my keyboard while simultaneously pissing my pants.

I'd forgotten that I need to empty my bladder and refrain from ingesting liquids when reading your blog.

Go ahead with the pencil stabbing. Not a jury in the world will convict you. You may even get your own ticket tape parade. God, I love you.

The Single Mothers Chronicles on October 22, 2011 at 6:27 AM said...

I thought you said just ONE stab? That's the issue, you cannot have just one when it comes to pencil stabbing. You just cannot.
Swati
(also have taken bloggy break :-))

The Absence of Alternatives on November 8, 2011 at 8:15 PM said...

WHERE ARE YOU??!!! xxoo

The Empress on November 23, 2011 at 8:18 PM said...

We miss you.

xo

Nezzy on January 11, 2012 at 4:22 PM said...

Girl, you've been missed like nobodies business. It's good to see ya up and about again.

Really, I'm not tryin' to read too much into this.

Hope your holidays were great and your New Year even better.

God bless ya and have a fantastic day!!! :O)

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