Top 10 things a New Mother Must know
# 1. Don’t let the baby eat dirt
(If the baby poops green…don’t worry)
#2 Don’t let the baby eat grass
#3 If the baby screams when you take away the bottle, chances are you didn’t put enough rum in it
#4 Should a rash develop, have yourself checked out immediately
#5 Mother in laws who think you are incompetent give helpful advice can become clumsy around this oughta take care of the old bat accidental kitchen spills
#6 Teething is normal. Stay away from baby if urge continues
#7 Don’t try to pawn the gas smell on the baby. We all know it was you
#8 Mothers and fathers do things differently and that’s o.k. The baby will grow up to know the truth love you both and realize that you are always there for them I do way more
#9 Sucking snot out of baby’s noise is to be expected. Using a straw is not.
#10 If screaming and crying persist, go into another room or you will wake the baby