At this point, I feel forced to confess to all of you that I am living and starring in my own version of Lesbian Big Love.
That’s right.
I’m married to several women without the benefit of even one damn climax.
Not one.
Damn it.
Not even one.
And I want divorces.
Pronto.
But I can’t divorce them…..
Know why?
‘Cause I have to be married to them five days out of the week or else I don’t get paid.
And Blog forbid I not live in the broke-ass style to which I’ve become so accustomed.
But the worst part is that I’m only allowed to cheat on them on the weekends. And my weekend-husband doesn’t even realize how lucky he is to have me on those precious two days.
After all, I am a cheating lesbianish whore prize.
So as I see it…..
. I’ve already gotten my period the same time as all of them.
. Listened to every drool running down my neck saturating my clothes story about their children and grandchildren
. Ate all of their homemade crap and lied my ass off raved politely.
. Gossiped about each one of them equally with the other.
I’ve paid my dues damn it….
Now I want out!!!
Where is a good unemployment-lesbian-lawyer when you need one?
I always wanted to be a lesbian star in my own show but this….?????