So there is an unwritten rule in a small, six-person office:
You can NOT order lunch without asking anyone else if they would like something.
I hate this rule.
Somebody ALWAYS takes me up on it.
And then, part b to that rule is that whoever orders the food has to be the one to collect all the money and pay the delivery guy when he comes.
Again, me.
Now where I come from, the Number 5 on a Chinese menu is around $4.85. Comes with soda or eggroll give or take a typo.
Can someone take a stab in someone’s eye on how much the guy who orders the Number 5 gives me to pay each time?
Go 'head, poke another eye out
That’s right,
...5 dollars.
No excuses.
No apologies.
No lame pretend show like he's looking for some extra change but really just scratching his balls...
Just five dollars.
What about tax?
What about tip?
What about the punch in the face I want to give you for taking me up on the offer every time in the first place?
Does .15 cents cover that Ducksauce Douche face?
Huh? Well? Does it??!!!
So do I scream out what I think of him?... Set him on fire?
and risk …and risk….
sounding cheap?
Hmmm…Six person office…have to live with him for more hours than my husband at this point…the words I curse can’t be made up with a blow job….
Ok, at least I can do the math.
But don’t for one second think I haven’t mother f*#!ked him in my head to death by now.
That’s how I get away with not giving my husband blow job.
I know. I know, I’m supposed to be concentrating at work here.
But all I can think about is how much this guy will be into me by the year 2020.
It will pay for my mortgage one day I’m sure of it!
...or at least one Gyno visit.
Now I have to bring in my own lunch everyday dammit.
.15 cents adds up people!
No Jew or Catholic bones about it.
That’s right, I put Jew first.
Hey, I'm ordering lunch.
Anyone want anything?
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