Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Well I Declare








I have a friend who is always making some kind of profound personal revelation or conclusion.



Revelation after revelation.



It’s like a re-run episode of the Bible or something every time I talk to her.



I swear, if they ever did a remake of that thing, she'd get a starring role.



Conclusion after conclusion.



And at this point, I don’t know if she’s conclusive or concussed.



Let’s just call her Concussa for the purpose of this post shall we?



So, Concussa and I have maintained a very distant friendship over the years- as we’ve have had more falling outs than a slippery diaphragm.



And I do my best to try to avoid any future confrontations and, make no mistake, scrambling out of control like a cat stuck in place on a hard wood floor is not beneath me.



Who doesn’t want to eliminate the level of their personal chaos if at all possible?



I have enough nuts in my cereal thank you.



But how do you divorce a long time friend who drives you to drink...more?



People get divorced amicably all the time.



Why not old, worn-out-not-good-for-either-one-of-us-anymore-it's not you it's me... blogblogblog...friendships?



What the hell’s so wrong with that?



But, try as I might, she won't let me. Stubborn Concussa that one.



Stubcussa?



So what do I do to compensate whenever I do speak to her?



Well, I just calmly answer with the word really after every new revelation.



It is much easier that way.



And truthfully, once I say the secret word Hello, she only lets me get one damn word in anyway.



(Just so you know, I really don't know where I'm going with this post but I can't stop..I think I have New Job Brain Syndrome)



So, to keep myself entertained….. In my head, I do the reallys in different voices.



I'm not that difficult to entertain.




“Hello?’’ damn blocked caller ID “Oh hey Concussa, how’s it going?”




“Well….....revelation, revelation, revelation......and so I decided that I am never going to put up with that crap again”




“Really?” – Scooby Doo




“Yeah, and I’ve also come to the conclusion that I have to.....conclusion, conclusion, conclusion...

and tell him to shove it!”




“Hmmm….Really?” – Randy Jackson




“It’s just not worth it and I’m better than that so from now on …revelation, revelation, revelation.....….and this time I mean it!”




“Sounds great Concussa…. Really”- Mr. Crabs




….This post could go on all day but who has the time?



It won’t ever be any different.



Any thoughts?



Reezy...I mean really, – George Jefferson



I’m open to any ideas.





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Thanks so much to Lisa at Grandmasbriefs.com (the Grandma sites got it going on yo) and Robyn at Simply Delightful and Tamara at homespunheartscandlesand Jane @agingmommyblog for this award. You guys are awesome!

Okay, here are my 10 honest things about myself:

1. I am an extremely well balanced individual

2. I am easily distracted

3. I don’t take rules seriously

4. I lied about number one (number 3 made me do it)

5. I have a short attention span

6. I often don’t finish what I sta..


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