Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Convenient Jew
"Do you go to Church?"
Nope, Jewish
"Wear a cross?"
Nope, Jewish
"Swallow?"
er....Jewish
When my husband looks at me like I've sprouted even more nose hairs because I can still crack up at Adam Sandler's Chanukah song I tell him "You just don't get it. I guess you have to be Jewish"
"For that your Jewish?!" He screeches
"Wow Honey, that was pretty good. You almost sounded like one of us. Next time a little more up-pitched on the "ish" part and..."
"You know what you are?" Man can he flare a nostril "You're Screwish!"
Screwish?
Do they get jewelry?
You'd think with all the burning exhales being emitted out of my husband's face our heating bills would be much lower.
"Why is it that I am always Catholic but you are only sometimes Jewish?"
Hmmm....he's got me there...or does he?
"O.K. fine. No problem. You want me to be Jewish all the time?"
mental silence
"Uh, no, not really" he mumbles as he leaves the room.
Score another one for the Screw!
So do you think Hallmark makes cards for Screwvous?
Mrs. Blogalotwitz
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