Blog Pizz-i-ole

This is probably one of those times when I should exercise good judgment and think before I post.

Pfft….

Anyway,

So if you are not Italian….let me ask you something…..

WHY THE HELL do you pronounce Mozzerella ….Mootz-a-thell?

Who the hell TOLD you to do that?

And I don't mean to sound like a mootza-douche or anything but you know what? Even if you are Italian …unless you ...no....just stop showing off with the accent on Bru-che-TA.

You're from Queens pal.

Nobody is impressed by this.

You don't see me going around pronouncing Chanukah..like ….you know… that getting ready to hock a loogie sound first. Do ya?

But I could you know.

Speaking of rednecks….

I’d like to thank everyone for visiting the other day. Not that I think anyone will be back after that post but what I great day. Once in a Blogtime experience I tell ya!

And I’m still trying to clean up around here….

Ok, who left the stain on the couch?

And I’m probably the only one with a blog who is surprised when people come over and actually read my nonsense.

When I saw bloggers whom I’ve never met before going through my blog… as unbelievable and awesome as it was, it still felt like a hundred people rummaging through my underwear drawer.

And I had to fight the insane urge to follow close behind each one of them clutching the blog posts to my chest and frantically stammer things like "Um, those had holes when I bought them” or “I swear they came in that color’"

...or more likely ‘I was drunk when I wrote that’

See why I didn’t go to Blogher?

It's what happens when you put me in a room full of a hundred or so wonderful self-respecting bloggers.

I tell bad redneck jokes.

It’s just not safe for me to leave my four-blog walls.

Now fess up, who's bra was in the toilet?

My SITS Day Yo!!!!

A Rabbi, a Priest and a Redneck walk into a blog...

The rabbi holds up both hands and proclaims “I hereby bless this blogger on her most honored and anticipated SITS-VAH day”

The priest shoves him over and says “What's the matter with you? It’s not SITS-vah, it’s Saint SITS Day. Don’t you know anything?”

“And what do you know?” The rabbi spat “And while we’re at it, who started the no eating meat on Fridays crap? The cows?”

The priest got up clearly agitated and pointed out “like you’d know anything about cows when their milk isn’t even good enough to eat with meat?”

The arguing continued back and forth until the redneck interrupted gently.

“Fellers, fellers, no need to git yer holy books in a twist”

The priest and the rabbi stopped bickering abruptly and both looked over to stare blankly at the redneck.

“What the hell is he doing here?” the rabbi asked the priest.

"Oh him?" the priest paused a moment then leaned over to whisper softly into the rabbi’s ear “... he thought it was IN-SITS day...”

A second of stunned silence passed then both the priest and the rabbi erupted in hearty barks of laughter.

....And SITS Day was happy once more!

I’d like to thank the wonderful ladies of SITS for the honor of being today’s featured blogger... despite the above post.

Do you know how many virtual flowers arrangements I owe those SITS girls for all of the awesome bloggy friends I've met over there?

Shhh..don't say anything. Maybe they'll forget.

But do go check 'em out! They rock!!!!

And before the Blog Police come to take me away.... below are some of my favorite posts from my Fun Dust on The Blog Shelf - hope it doesn't make anyone sneeze or cough up blood or anything...I'm not insured...

maybe this wasn't such a good idea...

A hearty thanks to everyone for sharing this day with me!! (insert hearts, flowers and a hot Paramedic here)

Shhhhh!!!!!

The Blog Junkie

Move Over Poker

The Age Old Post

The Convenient Jew

My Monthly Blog

If A Blog Posts in The Forest...

...Now where did I put that First-Aid Blog kit?

My Blog-o-nee Has a First Name....

I’m a phony.

A BIG FAT PHONY BLOG-O-NEE.

Well, what else could I be?

I’m not cursing at you in the supermarket for cutting the line am I?….

I’m not trying to run you off the highway just so I can give you a road-rage finger or fist right?…

And I’m always on my best bloggy behavior (sarcasm and drunken silliness notwithstanding).

I’m good here all - the - time.

My husband should be so fortunate.

There was nothing about being good in the vows btw (I watched the tape back)

But don’t you see?

….Phony Blog-o-nee!

The real me curses, shoves and gives dirty looks when called for and maybe even just for fun....And they can't prove anything about that car in the ditch.

The problem is you guys never upset me.

You make me laugh, you make me happy….

Where’s the realness in that??

This is the one place where the best of me shines…again, because nobody is slamming me down the aisle to get the last box of cookies on sale.

Hey! Was that you?

Or you?

Naw….My awesome bloggy friends know how to act.

It’s those damn real-life people that I have to worry about.

Was that you?