Mad Blog Scientist

I think I want to start a series of articles entitled “I’m Just Sayin'’”

I'm pretty sure I could get a lot of miles out of this one.

The thought arrived at my blog front door when I heard my Mother-in-Law telling my son that not saying "God Bless You" when someone sneezes is bad manners.

Bad manners?

Yeah, I’ve heard the ancient sneeze tale also but still never considered saying or not saying “Bless You” part of my manner repertoire.

Who cares if you sneeze?

I’m just sayin’

I don’t even care if you cough really-unless you were choking

And only then because I could finally practice that Heimlich I’ve seen so much about on posters.

So what would happen if the world stopped saying “Bless You” after a sneeze?

(cue lightening… flash of scary clowns optional)

Well you know I had to try it.

And so for one whole week whenever someone sneezed I said NOTHING.

That’s right. NOTHING!

Well you’d think I’d committed rabbit rape the way they all stared at me in my non-reflective silence.

While I waited for lightening to strike, and they waited for me to say “Bless You” I decided to burp without saying excuse me.

I figured I was on a roll.

(insert next mental check up date here)

WHAT?...NOTHING after a sneeze...

Oh my OdGay!

And did the world come to an end?

Did those little people under the stairs in Let's Scare Jessica To Death finally come and get me (because I always knew they would)

NO.

Nothing happened.

...So nobody sits with me at lunch anymore.

Screw them.

Assholes can't take a little experiment.

And don't think they'll be getting a gesundheit out of me either!

Bad manners or bad habbit?…you be the judge

Just sayin’

I feel a second series coming on very soon... (-:

Blog Roll

I thank my lucky, second-generation Darren stars every night that no matter what happens in my life...

There will always be reality TV!!

Nothing makes me feel more normal than a good reality show.

And Reality TV can make me forget just about anything...

...well except for that time when I forgot that I had one tampon in and put another one in by mistake.

...Aaaaand since this information may or may not be relevant in a future sanity hearing we'll not speak of it again. K?

Now back to reality!

I’m writing a thank you letter as we speak to whoever put "Mobbed" on Fox.

I'm telling you my fantasy show has come to life!

Although in my fantasy, I’d be on roller skates.

Ahhhh....roller skating...

Disco lights.....

Couples only.....

Sorry, slipped into a memory coma for a moment.

Not even a mobb of giant, bug-eyed, green Sleestak could get this Eighties girl to jump her ass over the pillon into this era.

My memories are happy and in tact just where they are thank you very much.

These days, I'm a little less hair spray and my eyebrows have thankfully carved a nice intersection for themselves but I can still roll with the best of 'em!

In my mind..

Scary to think that uni-brows and big hair never really die in spirit.

HA! And that Magic Eraser thought it could kill anything!

So, in my dreams, I want to do Mobbed...on skates!

I’ve been trying to talk my husband into it since last week...

“Honey let’s go on that new show Mobbed!”

“Why the hell for?”

“So we can do a surprise dance number to one unsuspecting person and…well... surprise them!”

“Surprise them and who about what?”

“Um, I didn’t think that far ahead... I’m not sure but wouldn’t it be fun?!”

“...I’m stained with excitement.”

I swear, it's like he's begging me to be the center of my dartboard.

...like he needs to beg

Got a dream reality show?

(-: