Wednesday, October 7, 2009

NyQuil Hangover








So in conclusion….


Oh right, I haven’t said anything yet.


By the powers vested in me…..


Oh wait, I’m not a priest.


Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury…


Yeah. Still not working.


This is what happens when you get older. Can someone please enlighten me as to when the hell Better will be making an appearance? I want to be properly coiffed.


My thinking got rerouted to remembering. Because…well because I couldn’t remember damn it!


Is there a lost and found for trains of thought? I seem to be having more and more memory lapses lately. I have practically choked myself on sticky note reminder necklaces. And I think my husband might be paying a visit to Jacoby and Myers soon if I leave one more don’t forget note on the kitchen counter (it’s not like I’m using it to cook or anything…sheesh get off my back!).


I heard that Ginko something or other helps with memory enhancement and if I can remember to get to Rite Aid or Duane Reed, I’ll be sure to throw some in my basket. Although I don’t think that I’ll be going anytime soon.


As I suffer from a serious pharmacy fetish.


I can’t seem to control myself from spending less than a hundred bucks a pop and I am not partial to just one drug store. I love them ALL.


I need the new lip sticks in the ever so slight color variations of the ones that I already hoard. I must have all feminine hygiene products ‘cause you never know when you will get lucky. Oh and hair dye and Motrin and allergy pills and foot insoles and nail polish and that chachki thing that can go on the table and hair ties and a calculator and new hand cream and new shampoo and gum and a magazine and a nail clipper and chapstick and…I really need help.


Does anyone know of a free clinic?


So what was I saying?


Oh right, birth control…had I known all the side effects back in the day, I think that I would have become a mother earlier in life. Hair in places that never grew before, headaches, skin issues. Really, how hard would it have been being a mother at sixteen? At least there would be less waxing and laser fees and I would have recovered tautly and moved on.


But back to my point, I am truly looking forward to menopause. I’m totally ready to own a new set of complaints.


Gotta run, Rite Aid awaits!


Intervention anyone? I smell reality TV here.


13 comments:

Anonymous said...

test comment - hello!

Shannon on October 8, 2009 at 9:21 PM said...

Melyssa,

I stopped by your blog and I just love it! Like you topics and your style. I must say I'm with you on the waiting for menopause bit. Can't take it much longer. I am looking forward to following your blog. Thanks for following mine. -Shannon

marymac on October 9, 2009 at 4:33 AM said...

I could totally lick a CVS when I see one...mmmmmmm. Pharmacy Phetish rocks!
Oh and menopause? Careful what you wish for! I turned 40 this year and had my first hot flash and I thought I was dying of a heart attack!

Mrs.Who on October 9, 2009 at 11:13 AM said...

That was hysterical I loved your blog. Great classic and when you find that clinic let me know Pleaseeeeeeeee!!!! I seem to never leave any store with just what I was intedning to purchase. Even when I go into a pet shop and at that I really am not an animal lover.

Jenna on October 9, 2009 at 10:41 PM said...

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I have a Walmart addiction. I could live there in a tent in the camping section. My hubby says the other day "did you spend $1200 at Walmart last month? Because the bank statement says..." yikes...

JennaInTheDitch

Ronnie on October 10, 2009 at 8:30 PM said...

Jenna...I was just getting ready to mention my Wal-Mart problem. I can't seem to leave there without dropping at least 100 bucks! Followed you here from MBC. Visit me at http://butsuchislife.com

yonca on October 11, 2009 at 9:04 AM said...

I really enjoyed to read your blog and i'm following you now. Have a great Sunday!

Pineapple Princess on October 11, 2009 at 6:39 PM said...

Following your blog!
I hopped over from MBC.

Anonymous said...

Love your blog! I have a award for you at
http://twolittlemonkeysplushubby.blogspot.com/

life in the mom lane on October 15, 2009 at 4:53 AM said...

Be careful for what you wish for- check out my blog devoted to menopause "hot flashes suck" :)

Unknown on October 16, 2009 at 1:22 PM said...

Enjoying your blog, followed you from twitter! Yep, this thing called age gets very, very interesting!

Organize Your Life on October 28, 2009 at 12:07 AM said...

I wish I'd paid more attention to people telling me to keep out of the sun; wear enough sun screen etc etc - the wrinkles & age spots are appearing thick and fast! Love your writing style :)

I found you on Friends following friends on MBC. I would love to see you follow/comment at my blog Organize Your Life Now

Thanks,
Claire

Organize Your Life Organizers

Herrad on November 2, 2009 at 4:55 AM said...

Hi Mrs Blogalot,

The Rock Star and Divine Blogger Awards are on my sidebar with the invitation for anyone to take them.

Hope they get onto lots of blogs, think its an excellent idea to pass awards on like this too.

I like doing a special post too, as I like to highlight/'introduce' blogs.

And sharing love is always good I think.

Have a good day.
Love,
Herrad

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