Friday, March 19, 2010

That's MRS. Kravitz to You

I’m nosy.

Yes I am.

Don’t believe me?

I make my husband go through open houses on the weekends pretending that we are first-time-home-buyers just to look inside.

I can not resist a good open house!

The signs lure me in like a Cullen.

Still don't believe?

Okay, what about the fact that I'll go through someone's blog like an online medicine cabinet?

Or that I've been known to answer to the name of Mrs. Crane when in a restaurant within earshot of other tables?

Not enough? Well then, I'm sorry to report that there's more...

The term "mind your own business" often translates itself to me as "shut the hell up crab monkey and while you're at it, go shave your ass"

Oh and I’ve never met an open window that I didn’t like.

Now doesn’t that prove it?

I know!

What the hell's wrong with me?

I’m not a stalker or peeping tom or anything…only because there are laws and confining penalties for such things…

But I do have this crazy and insatiable need to know.

And man would I love to be invisible on command!

Going in and out- anywhere- at anytime- as much as I please?

It would be like real life human TV all the time!

….Nosy Ass Reality TV....

All the time...


So I’m sick. Sue me. Marry me off to a cousin. Whatever.

Then we can televise it and watch it back.

I'm sure someone out there is nosy enough like me and will want to see it!

Want to? (-:


Andrea on March 19, 2010 at 1:31 PM said...

Tee hee. Love it! Be nosey all you like, I'm cool w. it!!!

Maureen@IslandRoar on March 19, 2010 at 1:53 PM said...

Oh you're funny! Are you really old enough to remember Mrs. Kravitz??? I am; she used to drive my sister and I crazy. We didn't realize she was probably related to our mother who is a lot like you in the nosey dept. The second Mrs. Kravitz never was as good. Embarrassing how much I remember about Bewitched. But I digress.
I'm sometimes nosey. But mostly oblivious.

ReformingGeek on March 19, 2010 at 2:06 PM said...

Yeah. Inquiring minds want to know. I'm right there with you!

Jules AF on March 19, 2010 at 2:06 PM said...

I'm disgustingly nosy. Aren't we all to a certain extent?

Simply Suthern on March 19, 2010 at 2:31 PM said...

Well, I thought I was nosy till I read that. Now I am feeling a bit more normal. Gladys got on my last nerve. Never cared for her. If you find the invisable button let me know. I want in on that.

MyMomfessions on March 19, 2010 at 3:12 PM said...

Glad Im not the only nosy one out there lol.

Deb on March 19, 2010 at 3:21 PM said...

What's wrong with all that? When driving by houses occupied by idiots that don't have shades/curtains on their windows at night I always look. Amazing the things you can see. Mrs. Kravitz was great, but poor Abner. Don't know how he stood it all those years without shooting her.

Dual Mom on March 19, 2010 at 3:45 PM said...

You win the medal for going to open houses just to see the inside of a home. Seriously.

All bloggers are nosy. It's what makes us bloggers.

Damn peeping tom laws.

Ducky on March 19, 2010 at 4:58 PM said...

OOOh! Pick me Pick me PICK MEEEEEEEEEE! I want to be invisible on command and pop into places. Can we departicalize and reparticalize in new places? I don't even know if those are words but they sound cool and you totally know what I mean, right?! Right.

So, I'm in....

Andrea on March 19, 2010 at 5:18 PM said...

Oh, I think more of us are nosy than like to admit. I would really like to just be a fly on the wall, not invisible. Then if what I am witnessing is about me or makes me mad, I can buzz around and annoy them.

Anonymous said...

I always wanted to be invisible, then i could sneak up on people and see what's going on :)


Nancy C on March 19, 2010 at 5:39 PM said...

So, yeah, I used to look up my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend's data when I worked for the university. I don't know if that's nosy or just pathetic. My vote says pathetic.

Jen on March 19, 2010 at 5:45 PM said...

I am not a nosy person. I learned a long time ago that if you dig around for something, you just might find it and then you can never clean your eyeballs or ears enough to get rid of it. Yeah, I was scarred.

Now I bet you want, no need, to know why.

Jayne Martin on March 19, 2010 at 5:49 PM said...

Nosy has such a negative connotation. I prefer to think of this need-to-know as having an inquisitive mind and always being open to learning.

I can spin just about anything. ;)

P.S. Thanks for posting my button. I just grabbed yours.

Roller Coaster on March 19, 2010 at 6:08 PM said...

Aren't all bloggers nosy? As bloggers, don't we open ourselves up to other nosy people?

Robin on March 19, 2010 at 6:25 PM said...

Wow, we are more alike than I even top me with the open houses though...but I cant stop laughing at the "shut the hell up crab monkey and while you're at it, go shave your ass"... WTF.... I missing something here....??..I guess its true that bloggers just have a very nosy personality.....I am not ashamed though, I am Nosy and proud of it..Mrs Kravitz...!

Sabreena on March 19, 2010 at 6:28 PM said...

I love it. You're like a sane peeping tom. I am unleashing an internet meme next week that might be right up your ally. Come by and visit on Sunday for the low down (if you like). Keep up the spying, it's great!

Vintage Christine on March 19, 2010 at 6:30 PM said...

I'm much too self-involved to be nosy. Very few people know this, but Abner was having an affair with Endora--she promised to turn Gladys into a goat "one of these days" which is why he never snapped and shot his nosy nagging whiney wife. FYI.

TheCheckoutGirl on March 19, 2010 at 6:52 PM said...

When out to eat, I HAVE to know what the people at the next table order. I am fat AND nosy.

I love your blog.

TCG/Fuck Yeah, Motherhood!

BugginWord on March 19, 2010 at 7:36 PM said...

I was just out with a girlfriend today. We sat down for a quick tea. She prattled on and on about something and I said, "can you hold on a sec? I'm trying to hear what that couple is fighting about." She was wicked pissed - my friend, not the other girl - actually she was pretty pissed, too - at the guy, not me.

This comment went well.

Brilliant Sulk on March 19, 2010 at 7:41 PM said...

Oh gosh, you do the open house thing too? I love that!

I have clients who are incredibly rich and am often in their homes. Believe me, I would love to take a walk and get lost in the some of those swanky rooms.

But I'm so afraid there are hidden cameras watching me while I sniff their undergarments.

Okay, sorry. That was gross.

Katherine on March 19, 2010 at 7:47 PM said...

The house next door to me has been empty for months. They are showing it more... I think there are two people who are really interested. Today I saw people over there out of the corner of my eye. I turned off the lights and peeked out of the bathroom window. I'm nervous... they were a bit rough around the edges. Not trying to sound mean... but they looked like mad, unhappy people. They were almost "snooping" themselves... but like they owned the place. I feel possessive of that house b/c I loved the owner who sadly died. But I was definitely snooping. I had to know. I even devised a plan to come outside for "something in the car." By the time I got out, they were gone. But I need to know!

Buggys on March 19, 2010 at 9:20 PM said...

You make me laugh! One of my sisters is apparently your twin. She NEEDS to know everything about everybody. Her nickname in the neighborhood when we were kids was Walter Cronkite. If you want to know what's going on, just ask Walter!
I didn't get the nosy gene, I can't say I miss it either.

Meg on March 20, 2010 at 1:08 AM said...

Ahh my long lost twin, how I've missed you so.

People Who Know Me Would Say: on March 20, 2010 at 6:25 AM said...

I was giggling until I got to this:

"The term "mind your own business" often translates itself to me as "shut the hell up crab monkey and while you're at it, go shave your ass"

And then I went off to shave my ass, laughing hysterically...snot coming out of my nose.

You're unbelievably, uh, insane! It's phenomenal!!!

Unknown on March 20, 2010 at 8:20 AM said...

Stop it! Stop it! I'm splitting my sides. Eeeew. I love to overhear conversations. It's great material for uh, er blog posts and stories. It's humanity at its worst. But I have to say. Kudos to you for coming up with the idea of going to open houses. What fun. Something to add to my list of Sunday Funday things to do.

Anonymous said...

You're too funny! When I first saw your title in my reader, I clicked and was all prepared to comment on how HOT Lenny Kravitz is and how wonderful it is that you're fantasizing about being his wife. HA! You got me!

Linda Medrano on March 20, 2010 at 10:32 AM said...

Mrs. B, I was very sad when the drug dealers across the street moved. Why? Now what am I supposed to watch all day? I know they gave the neighbors fits, but I didn't really mind them. I used to have an exotic dancer who left her blinds up. I kind of missed her too when she moved. In California I don't think we can marry our cousin. In your State, maybe you can. Funny, I know a guy who married a llama in California, so maybe you can marry your cousin here too.

Ziva on March 20, 2010 at 12:58 PM said...

I always wanted to read minds... Kinda like that Cullen boy. To think of all the things you'd learn about everyone. Awesome!

Tracie on March 20, 2010 at 7:50 PM said...

Having "the need to know" is what makes blogging so much fun for me. I can be nosey all day long - in all kinds of people's lives.

Fragrant Liar on March 20, 2010 at 9:00 PM said...

Nosy is just another word for curiosity. If you're not curious, somebody somewhere once said, you're dead.

Lothiriel on March 20, 2010 at 9:05 PM said...

Too weird! I love you!!! The weirder the better for me!!

I always need to know as well.

Wanna know something cool? Invisibility is now possible!! Yep! Read this:

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip on March 20, 2010 at 9:52 PM said...

You are hilarious, Mrs. Blogalot. You had me rolling all the way through this one. And you can go through my medicine cabinet anytime.

Me-Me King on March 21, 2010 at 5:58 AM said...

Ok, I am convinced, we are sisters from another mister. I have done the same thing by visiting open houses at a price point I'd never be able to afford just to get decorating ideas.

Marry a cousin? Well, I'm from Arkansas and that's not too uncommon.

Anonymous said...

That is too funny! I love your writing style :)
I am a new follower visiting from FFF @ MBC

Sheila on March 21, 2010 at 10:43 AM said...

Do all nosy people have hairy asses or is it just you?

Joann Mannix on March 21, 2010 at 3:13 PM said...

I'm not sure why, but your blog isn't updating in my Google Reader. I'm going to have to go stomp on over there and fix it right away because your posts are the best and I'm always tardy to the party.

Oh my gosh, I have to tell you about my old neighbor, young Mrs. Kravitz. In our first little starter home, we lived across the street from this very nice couple about our age. I had one child at the time. They'd been trying forever to have their own child, but hadn't been lucky yet. She was a stay at home mom without any kids. Needless to say, she needed to get a job. They had a screen door and they kept their front door open every single day. (We live in Florida and even in the heat, they had that door wide open.) She stood at that freakin' door all day watching my house. It would drive me to distraction. Sometimes I kept the curtains closed, but I crave the sunshine, so that didn't last long.
Anytime we came outside, even if it was to get the mail, she was out of her house like a jackrabbit, in our yard, filling us up with inane drivel.
It was torture, pure and utter torture to know she was always watching. One time, she called me to tell me she saw my baby put something in her mouth and I might want to check what it was, because it was small and looked like a piece of metal. I am not kidding you.

Having complained on and on, I will say I am a passionate eavesdropper. The best stuff is always the stuff you overhear.

Lanita on March 21, 2010 at 7:02 PM said...

BTW, I have awarded you a Beautiful Blog Award. Come check out my site!

Claudya Martinez on March 21, 2010 at 7:30 PM said...

You are not nosy you are inquisitive to a fault.

Anonymous said...

Go through my blog as you please if you must get the nosiness out that way. But if I see you outside my window, missy, we're gonna have problems. Haha.

Moooooog35 on March 22, 2010 at 6:29 AM said...

I'll be happy to come along as soon as I figure out how to extract myself from the rose bushes outside your window.

A little help here please?

Anonymous said...

when i read the title of this post i expected to see naked pics of lenny kravitz. love. him.

my mom's like that with open houses too. the husband is always telling me to mind my own business. i'll be like 'why are the neighbors lights on so late--i wonder if they're arguing'. seriously, i need a hobby...

rachaelgking on March 22, 2010 at 9:11 AM said...

"Marry me off to a cousin."

i think I love you.

Ian on March 22, 2010 at 9:56 AM said...

That your last name? Gots tons of family with that last name. Maybe we are related. Maybe we shouldn't be talking.

drollgirl on March 22, 2010 at 12:26 PM said...

bah! i prefer to say that i am CURIOUS, rather than nosy. i think it has better connotations. then again, i could also be DELUSIONAL. ahhahaha

AmandaWK on March 22, 2010 at 1:50 PM said...

I used to be nosy... now I just don't give a flyin' froggy! ;)

I have an award for you @:

Unknown on March 22, 2010 at 2:21 PM said...

I used to be nosy as well.
Now, I'm with Amanda above...
Don't really care much anymore... LOL

Missed you terribly since I've been away!!
I'm back now, and there's no getting rid of me ;)


Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom on March 22, 2010 at 4:29 PM said...

I am definitely nosy-- I think it comes with being in the news industry. I can make the excuse that it's my JOB to know everything about everyone.

But lately, I've been learning that with my personal life, sometimes it's better NOT to know everything. Just simpler that way!

Confessions From A Working Mom

Anonymous said...

i'm the same way. when i was little my mom used to drive slow when we'd be out during the evenings and we'd peek through people's windows to see how they decorated. so i obviously blame my nosiness on my mother. and my panic attacks.

Just A Normal Mom on March 23, 2010 at 8:24 AM said...

Ha! I love being nosy. Besides, isn't that why we read blogs? :-)
I'm always looking out the window keeping tabs on the comings and goings of neighbors. Total Mrs. Kravitz....

Yankee Girl on March 23, 2010 at 8:59 AM said...

I love taking walks with the dog or my husband and being able to see in other people's front windows. And open houses are the best!

I really like to see how people decorate to give me ideas....that's my excuse anyway!

Susan R. Mills on March 23, 2010 at 9:54 AM said...

You aren't sick. If you are, that would make me sick too. I refuse to believe that. Nosiness is normal, right?

JennyMac on March 23, 2010 at 11:06 AM said... of my coworkers nicknamed someone we know as Mrs. Kravitz. You are WAY cooler than this woman to have that nickname. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Oh, you've done it again! I'm barely able to type because I'm chuckling. And in a public place.

You know you're a funny see you tomorrow for the vote...and don't forget anybody you want can vote for you. (no need to follow my blog...that would be gross!!!)

Unknown on March 23, 2010 at 12:19 PM said...

I think we are all naturally nosy whether we admit to it or not. So you're not alone!

AmandaWK on March 23, 2010 at 12:51 PM said...

Guess what! I have another award for you. Now, this is one I made on my own, inspired by the blogs I love to read. You can pick your award up at my other blog:

Enjoy Mother-Blogger!

Captain Dumbass on March 23, 2010 at 4:00 PM said...

Shave your ass? I heart you.

Joy@TPMG on March 23, 2010 at 5:00 PM said...

Hehe. I would love to be invisible. I don't think nosy is the right word but curious and inquisitive.

Aunt Juicebox on March 23, 2010 at 5:31 PM said...

LOL This reminds of the time a friend of mine got tired of another friend always looking in her medicine cabinet. So one time before he came over, she stack a bunch of stuff up in it and closed it so that when it was opened, everything would fall out into the sink. We stood by the door and listened to him scramble to put it all back in. ;)

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on March 23, 2010 at 5:31 PM said...

OMG, I love to go to open houses, too. Once our across-the-street neighbors were having one and I assumed that they wouldn't be home and their Realtor wouldn't recognize me as a neighbor. We were getting ready to put our house on the market the next week and I wanted to see how their house compared. So I went to the open house and they were doing it themselves! They gave me a house tour and I mumbled something about a friend of mine thinking about moving into the neighborhood. SO embarrassing. Especially when the For Sale sign went up in my front yard a week later.

The Absence of Alternatives on March 25, 2010 at 7:35 AM said...

We are like made for each other! Being a narcissist I am only interested in knowing myself! So come over and snoop all you want, sweetie! :-)

Alexandra on April 3, 2010 at 1:23 PM said...

Oh, so true!!! Only the honest ones in the world commented here.

I love that line, "going through people's blogs like an online medicine cabinet."

This was genius. You have a new follower, us nosey roseys have to stick together...

The Single Mothers Chronicles on October 22, 2011 at 6:29 AM said...

Hmmm. Actually yes.

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