Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Cafe Bite-Me

“You have a what?” my girlfriend stops mid-chew to ask.

“A blog”

“A blog?” She inquires once again as if I’d just taken out my Spok ears and Light Saber.

“Yes. A blog”

Note to self: Water spillage is great for awkward silences.

“What exactly do you do with a blog?”

“Write stuff”

“What kind of stuff?”

“You know…just stuff

“And people read it?”

“Well yeah, that’s kinda the point”

“Do you get paid for it?”

“Uh, no”

“And do you like…do it all the time?”

“Uh, yeah”

Clank. Scrape. Clank. Chew.

More water. What a Klutz.

“I don’t get it” she announced “You do it all the time and you don’t get paid for it? What’s the point?”

“I don’t get paid for sex either but I still do it”

Point digested.

“So…..have you ever…er….you know… written about me?”

Clank.Clank. Chew. Chew.

No water.

“Not yet”



Lisa on February 20, 2010 at 5:08 AM said...


We all carry that smile and a hidden camera.

JennyMac on February 20, 2010 at 5:11 AM said...

Love it. My Father asked me why I would have an "online diary." Nice.

So I can write about you Pops...so I can write about you. LOL.

JennyMac on February 20, 2010 at 5:11 AM said...

PS Happy Saturday ShareFest

Katherine on February 20, 2010 at 5:16 AM said...

Ha ha! Love it... Not yet! There are some things I've WANTED to write about - but I knew I might get discovered. Some folks know about my blog but I purposely don't let my f/b pals see it.

Andrea on February 20, 2010 at 5:18 AM said...

Bwah hah hah HAH. I LOVE IT!!!

Melissa B. on February 20, 2010 at 5:22 AM said...

Too funny! SITS sent me by this morning, and I'm glad they did...

Moonscape Melting; More on the Way?

Robin on February 20, 2010 at 5:41 AM said...

Not yet...Huh..! thats what I would tell everyone....Great Post..I think of that often, since no one I know in real life (except immediate family) has access to mine...I may let one friend in on it though..Im still debating...
Clank Clank Chew Chew...LOL

Dual Mom on February 20, 2010 at 6:41 AM said...

This is funny. No one in real life knows about my blog either and I suspect alot of them would ask the very same questions!

Shell on February 20, 2010 at 6:44 AM said...

That is why I don't tell people about mine. Um, and so I can write about them. LOL

MommaKiss on February 20, 2010 at 6:56 AM said...

Fantastic. There are people who get it and people who don't. My husband isn't allowed to get it, therefore, I hide my blog stuff a lil bit :p

More than a Mom on February 20, 2010 at 7:07 AM said...

Love it!

Jules AF on February 20, 2010 at 7:13 AM said...

I've never been asked WHY I have a blog. hmm

Joann Mannix on February 20, 2010 at 7:19 AM said...

Hi! I'm over from SITS and I like what I see, Mamma! Gawd, I get it all the time. I don't know if it's my age. I'm a tad bit older than the average young Mommy blogger. I was jealous of Marcia Brady when Davy Jones kissed her cheek, so that'll tell you somethin'. But, I do think my generation isn't as plugged in to the social online era of things and I can't tell you how many people just. don't. get. it.

There are some that do and are gracious as can be, but others? I had a dude say to me at a Superbowl party last week, "I'd like to compliment you on your blog . . . but I can't, because I don't read it. But, what I would like to compliment you on is . . . your dogs." My dogs? I have 2 new puppies but I didn't create them or birth them so WTF?

Sooo, anyway. I'm going to go root around your blog now and enjoy myself. Happy SITS Saturday!

Me-Me King on February 20, 2010 at 7:21 AM said...

Most of my friends and family leave my blog scratching their heads. (sigh)

Oh, stop by The Screaming Me-Me for some really bid news!!!

Have a nice weekend. :-)

Me-Me King on February 20, 2010 at 7:22 AM said...

Oops, I meant BIG....big news.

Anonymous said...

Many of my friends read my blog regularly. The ones I *thought* would be interested and my biggest fans -- my family (extended) -- rarely, if ever, stop by. Except for my Mom, who's probably my biggest fan ... and the one that keeps me from writing some of the things I REALLY want to write since it'd be unflattering to her. Okay, downright mean and hateful ... but honest.

Aunt Juicebox on February 20, 2010 at 8:06 AM said...

This is why I don't tell anyone I know that I blog. I told my best friend about it when I started, but I changed the url over a year ago, and she never asked for it, so I don't think she was reading, so I just don't talk about it.

hypermom on February 20, 2010 at 9:06 AM said...

Mwahahahaha I like the part about not getting paid for sex mwahahahaha

Vintage Christine on February 20, 2010 at 9:23 AM said...

I'm thinking that if I WRITE about my memories from long ago that then people won't think I have Alzheimer's, since when you're up in years and talk about things you did when you were a kid (and then can't remember where you put your keys 5 minutes ago) people immediately go, "Oh sad, she's getting Alzheimer's." I mean, maybe I am, but I'm taking everybody along with me, he he he.

BugginWord on February 20, 2010 at 10:07 AM said...

I think there's WAY more money in sex.

Anonymous said...


Found you through FFF on MB :)

Unknown on February 20, 2010 at 10:43 AM said...

Ha! If we could only get paid for sex . . . oh that's right. We can! Put on the hooker heels, fishnets, and stock up on condoms.

Kelly on February 20, 2010 at 11:02 AM said...

My very own mother told me that reading my blog is how she finds out what's going on in my life. I would have thought picking up the phone and calling me would work just as well but what do I know.

Grizzly Bear on February 20, 2010 at 11:38 AM said...

LOL , that is funny! I got into trouble once writing about my bff but I didn't mention her name or anything and she was all pissed off at me and I was like dude get a sense of humor it is called overexaggeration/fiction/drama/some truth in there.. dude we got in a huge fight over this shyt.. i said fine dont do anything interesting ever I may want to write about it... deal! geez

Anonymous said...


People always look at me like Ive sprouted wings when I say I have a blog!

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma on February 20, 2010 at 1:15 PM said...

It's a little disappointing when someone who seems to like us in real life isn't interested in joining our blog conversation. But I have to remember that until I started blogging I was (yes, I confess) a little cynical about blogs. So I don't mention mine very often, either.

Jayne Martin on February 20, 2010 at 1:31 PM said...

I had business cards printed up with my blog logo and address as well as the e-mail I use for all writing projects. People seem impressed with business cards, no matter what they're for. who knew?

Claudya Martinez on February 20, 2010 at 1:42 PM said...

Hahahahahaha...some people just don't get it.

adrienzgirl on February 20, 2010 at 2:57 PM said...

My friends and family always say...you aren't gonna put this on your blog are you?

If you have to ask...the answer is YES! :D

Moonrayvenne on February 20, 2010 at 3:31 PM said...

It's the same with me! I mentioned it once about a year ago to my sister but I don't bother anymore. I'd rather just write w/o family reading. Besides, what's the fun having them as blog fodder if you can't write about them? LOL

Maureen@IslandRoar on February 20, 2010 at 3:54 PM said...

Yes. *sigh*
This is exactly why I don't tell people. She could have at least Faked politeness, no?

Andrea McKay on February 20, 2010 at 6:20 PM said...

People don't get paid for writing in their diaries either, right? Although they don't usually share their diaries with a large audience . . .

Glad you're blogging though!

Ducky on February 20, 2010 at 6:54 PM said...

that's awesome...not yet....makes me laugh. Mostly because one of my coworker CONSTANTLY asks me if I've blogged about my ideals lately. Little does the fucker know HE often becomes blog fodder! Evidently his only point of reference for blogging is that damned Twix commercial...


now I want chocolate....

Anonymous said...

That's hysterical! I have had that conversation before...I feel like only other bloggers understand me sometimes. Like I am in some secret world...just need a cool handshake to match. However, I never thought about telling anyone that I have sex without payment...that's good. Too bad, huh? I mean if not for the moral implications, the 6 inch heels and walking the streets...I'd love to get paid for sex..I mean talk about loving your work! Okay...I'm jacked up on Nyquil, I better go!

Tracie on February 20, 2010 at 8:21 PM said...

IRL people just don't get it. I have a few that read my blog and whenever I ask them for feedback they are no help at all. They always love the posts that other bloggers were lukewarm towards and vice versa. *sigh*

I'm thinking about scrapping this blog and starting a new one that is completely anon and a secret to the real world.

Anonymous said...

Oh - that's funny!

A Daft Scots Lass on February 21, 2010 at 2:02 AM said...

My favourite saying is "Thats one for the blog!". I always have my wee blog in mind when I'm doing something or feel the need to share something or something funny happens to me.

BLOGitse on February 21, 2010 at 4:32 AM said...

Thanks for your visit! Now I'm here and happy about it!
Most of my friends don't blog but are active on FB which is not my thing at all...

I'll be back! :)
Sunny SITS greetings from Cairo!


heather@actingbalanced.com on February 21, 2010 at 5:33 AM said...

wonderful!!! thanks for stopping by my blog

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip on February 21, 2010 at 8:42 AM said...

Blog fodder. All my friends know about mine now and no one wants to tell me any juicy tidbits any more for fear I will out them in my blog. Except for a few people. Like my friend Angelica who came up to me the other day and asked me in a low, sultry voice, "Have I shown you my vagina yet?"

"Um ... WHAT?!!" I responded.

Turned out it was a Georgia O'Keefe flower/vagina painting.

I told her immediately that I was using her as blog fodder. It was her own fault for setting herself up right?

Lothiriel on February 21, 2010 at 11:25 AM said...

None of my friends and family know about mine and I like it that way!! LOL!

Shelle on February 21, 2010 at 11:31 AM said...

I have not told a lot of my real life friends about my blog. I told someone at my work about it and now it's kind of awkward when they bring it up.

Hope you are having a great weekend! Visiting from SITS!

The Single Mothers Chronicles on February 21, 2010 at 12:35 PM said...

Ha! Love it!!!
ps my boyfriend is afraid to talk if I am near my laptop or have pen in hand...

Kmama on February 21, 2010 at 1:00 PM said...

Hahahaha. Why do people react like that to a blog? It cracks me up.

Debbie on February 21, 2010 at 1:30 PM said...

And this is why I never tell a soul I have a blog!

Unknown on February 21, 2010 at 2:56 PM said...

A lot of my friends just don't get it, either.But I love blogging...

Brilliant Sulk on February 21, 2010 at 3:17 PM said...

I call it my "blob."

Yes, I tell people I have a blob. They ask me if I'm contagious. "Maybe I am" I usually reply.

Perhaps that's why I don't have any friends.

The Absence of Alternatives on February 21, 2010 at 4:26 PM said...

LOL. You are brave. I have only told a selected few people I know in real life. Now I wonder: did she feel relieved that you haven't written about her? Or did she feel insulted that you haven't featured her in a post, that she is not important enough for you to write about? ;-)

The Absence of Alternatives on February 21, 2010 at 4:27 PM said...

Amanda cracks me up! We all caught the Blog Disease.

Sally on February 21, 2010 at 5:16 PM said...

My daughter always asks, are you putting this on your blog; no to her, but yes I am. hahaha

You have a cute one here btw. Here from SITS. :)

Anonymous said...

i don't think many of my friends are quite sure how to respond to that statement either. i don't write about them...but if they start acting crazy....

ReformingGeek on February 21, 2010 at 6:59 PM said...

LOL! Most of my friends don't really get it, either.

I'm really good at spilling things. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I have less friends since I started blogging, I just can't keep my mouth shut... I don't think my Grandmother likes me anymore either ;0)

life in the mom lane on February 22, 2010 at 5:16 AM said...

*LOL* I know people just don't generally get it do they? For some it's like you have some dirty little secret...

Moooooog35 on February 22, 2010 at 5:19 AM said...

You don't get paid for sex?

Let me know when that changes...I have a 20 burning a hole in my pocket.

Rebecca Dot Com on February 22, 2010 at 5:49 AM said...

that's funny! my friends all think i write about them too! :) happy monday!

Nicole @ Chic and Cheap Nursery on February 22, 2010 at 8:30 AM said...

Ha ha ha! That's funny!
A lot of people I know get a little strange when I tell them I have a blog.

And you should definitely start charging for sex! How do you think I am going to pay for my BlogHer tickets?


Anonymous said...

Now, your friend will be on her best behavior! One of my friends was like wow, I hate writing, why would you choose to write every single day...different strokes for different folks! I loved your response...mind if I steal that one?!

Jen on February 22, 2010 at 5:26 PM said...

She will either be on her best behavior or you will never see her again. I don't tell many people about my blog. Strangers sure, family, one or two, friends not so much. Old friends from high school who found me on Facebook sure but I still talk about them.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) on February 22, 2010 at 8:50 PM said...

Haha. I still haven't had that conversation with my friends. I wonder if I ever will.

Thanks for stopping by.

People Who Know Me Would Say: on February 23, 2010 at 2:44 AM said...

I started laughing with the title....."Bite Me" being one of my favorite expressions.

But I laughed the big, ugly, loud, guffaw kind of laugh all the way through!!!!

And the end was priceless!

You would be most gratified if you could hear me still laughing!!!!

Small Burst on February 23, 2010 at 4:28 AM said...

Non bloggers just don't understand...LOL

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) on February 23, 2010 at 10:22 AM said...

Yep, ya give a gal a camera and a blog there is just nothin' off limits. My fam can often be heard, "be careful or this will end up in Mom's blog......and it does! Heeeheheee! I enjoyed your hilarious take of the subject.

Ya'll have a fantastically fun day!!!

Unknown on February 23, 2010 at 10:45 PM said...

Oy, I have had that very same conversation with people lately!!!!

I can't explain it to people, other than that is a creative and social outlet, and means a lot to me, and yes dammit I write about you every day, so of course you should read my blog....!

Ioana on February 26, 2010 at 2:45 AM said...


I have a [poor, little] blog, but there are only two close people that know about it.
:)) oh, I can only imagine the shock your friend had:))

Unknown on May 9, 2010 at 2:57 PM said...

I am just getting into this blog THANG and have conversations like yours above all the dang time. I have this conversation quite a lot with my mother...and my husband...and the toll booth operator...and the guy who highlights my receipt at Wal-Mart. Hold on a second. I don't go to Wal-Mart. I got carried away. Anyway, I have it a lot and your post made me laugh!

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