Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Now Hear This!

When my son was born, the nurse said the words that I would remember all of my motherhood life.

Mommy’s and Daddy’s do things differently.... And that’s okay.’

Truer words were never spoken.

Son: I don’t want to go to school anymore. A kid in school keeps pushing and hitting me”

Mom: Did you tell him to stop?

Dad: Did you punch him in the face?

Mom: You have to speak up for yourself

Dad: You have to punch him in the face.

Mom: Did you tell the teacher?

Dad: Did you punch him in the face?

Mom: I’ll go in tomorrow with you and talk to the principal

Dad: I’ll go punch his father in the face.

Wife: You can’t teach him to go around punching kids in the face.

Husband: So you want him to get punched in the face? All he has to do is punch a kid once and nobody will ever bother him again.

I know that sometimes a dad’s voice is needed and sometime’s a mom’s...and sometimes an analyst's. But the question is not who’s voice can be the loudest but which is the right one at the time?

Who’s voice do you or your child hear?

You all do hear the voices don't you...?


Ducky on March 31, 2010 at 4:19 AM said...

Truer words nere were spoken....this could very easily have taken place in my home. Our daughter is 19mos and Daddy Dearest is ALREADY saying things like that. When girlie and her cousin (who is 2) get together sometimes there are sqabbles. Daddy often asks me "When is she going to start yanking her cousin's hair? Because I think that would solve the problem"

Riiiiiight Good luck with that.

Dual Mom on March 31, 2010 at 4:27 AM said...

I hear voices!!!

Shut up you're not supposed to tell anyone.

What do you mean? Mrs. B doesn't care.

How many times must I tell you that people will think you're crazy?

Nahhhh not Mrs. B.

hypermom on March 31, 2010 at 4:45 AM said...

Mwahahaha that's one of the benefits of being a single mom; it's only my voice that I get to hear ;)

Menopausal New Mom on March 31, 2010 at 5:04 AM said...

So true right down to the last detail at our house. I'm lucky, my daughter listened to me unless it's something that she really wants to do and then she doesn't listen to either one of us.

Lanita on March 31, 2010 at 5:07 AM said...

I hear too many voices...including my mother's. Sometimes I want to wack the crap out of that know, to shut it up.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on March 31, 2010 at 5:17 AM said...

Hilarious! Sometimes it's necessary that someone say, "Punch him in the face." Even the kid knows he's not actually supposed to punch him in the face. But it needs to be said. And dads are good about that kind of thing.

Moooooog35 on March 31, 2010 at 5:20 AM said...

I was going to comment here, but I'm teaching my son how to properly punch someone in the face.

Anonymous said...

The kids need both kinds of advice, speak first and then fight to win.


Maureen@IslandRoar on March 31, 2010 at 5:47 AM said...

I talk so loud I'm the only voice ANYone around here can hear.
Not that they LISTEN...

Me-Me King on March 31, 2010 at 6:03 AM said...

Do I hear voices? You bet I do. You see, I have an imaginary boyfriend who talks to me all the time....oh, maybe I shouldn't go on about this here...sorry.

Anyway, I told my children never to put their hands on anyone unless it's in a loving or caring manner. Then the day came when my son returned from school with a black eye. I ate my words that day.

Gotta go, my boyfriend would like another cup of coffee.

Yankee Girl on March 31, 2010 at 6:42 AM said...

When my husband was in middle school he was bullied SO MUCH by a group of four or five boys. After his parents tried talking to teachers and the principal without getting any results, Leland's dad told him to go to school the next morning and knock out the first of the mean kids he saw. So he did. He walked right up to one of the boys and just wailed on him. Of course he got suspended, but his parents took him out to dinner to celebrate.

Yes, it was wrong, but those boys NEVER bullied him again.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) on March 31, 2010 at 6:54 AM said...

Yes, I have a whole community livin' in my brain! Although we should not teach our children hittin' is the way to solve problems, Dad's answer it the answer heard 'round the world between fathers and sons.

The many years I'd spent in the classroom this sight was proven time and time again. Little girls write notes, whisper among friends and hold grudges for weeks on end. Little boys have a spat...someone punches someone and BAM...their all best buds again. It's the Venus and Mars thing baby! Their just wired differently.

God bless ya and have a wonderful Wednesday!!!

natalee on March 31, 2010 at 7:05 AM said...

love this post!!!!

Ian on March 31, 2010 at 7:08 AM said...

Depends. How old is the kid in question. Teenagers need to stand up for themselves and fuck shit up. Anyone younger needs the mom to go to the principal's office.

Mama-Face on March 31, 2010 at 7:13 AM said...

Interesting question. My husband tells my boy to ignore bullies. I know that doesn't work. And punching only gets your child in trouble. It's a conundrum for sure.

I don't even think I answered your real question. I am definitely the voice that is HEARD. I am not necessarily the voice anybody listens to.

Susan R. Mills on March 31, 2010 at 7:16 AM said...

That sounds like my house. My husband is all about standing up for yourself. I prefer peace. I guess we'll see who my boys listen to.

Andrea on March 31, 2010 at 7:21 AM said...

Oh yeah, that's my husband too. And he's telling a girl to punch someone.

Anonymous said...

your husband sounds like mine!

i wish the voices i hear would shut. up!

Unknown on March 31, 2010 at 7:49 AM said...

So true! I have the loudest voice in my house but that's probably because I follow through with disciplines and I also pick my battles. Daddy doesn't really do either of those.

Unknown on March 31, 2010 at 7:57 AM said...

I also think there is a difference in mom and dad voice when speaking to their daughters.

Miss Spoken on March 31, 2010 at 8:02 AM said...

What?! The loudest voice isn't the one to listen to? Now I have to re-think my entire approach to parenting.

P.S. Punching faces is almost always good advise.

Jack and Alex Manning on March 31, 2010 at 8:31 AM said...

Hee hee... My husband travels a fair bit, and while he's a full on, involved dad, the kids still defer to me - as in, "Daddy, if you want a cookie, you better ask Mommy first." I'm totally comfortable with this arrangement.

Btw, I'm here: - I noticed that you commented on my old blog - I know, this login goes back there - but I'd love if you get a chance to check out my current blog!



Coffeypot on March 31, 2010 at 9:15 AM said...

That's easy. NO ONE EVER listens to me and you probably won‘t either. But I agree with dad. The sooner he shows he will not be pushed around the safer he will be. Pack dominance in school is as serious as it is in a wolf pack. Secretia is right…try to talk your way out of the situation first, advise the teacher or the person in charge of what is happening, and then, if need be, TAKE THE KID OUT. Fight to hurt and to win.

People Who Know Me Would Say: on March 31, 2010 at 9:30 AM said...

HYSTERICALLY FUNNY! When I was reading, I was even doing the different voices for the mommy and the daddy. It made it funnier. Daddy sounded like an oaf! shhh...

Mommy's principals are right. They're always right. Daddy's reality is grounded in common sense. We live in too litigious a society to have kids going around punching each other UNLESS there are no witnesses. Grampa teaches that. :)

I converse with the voices I hear.

Roller Coaster on March 31, 2010 at 10:13 AM said...

That could have been a conversation in our house! I'd like to think my children listen to my voice, and I'll always tell them to listen to mine over daddy's. That being said, there are times when I have to use my mommy voice but I secretly hope they listen to daddy's. That way, when my son DOES punch that kid back, I can blame his behavior on daddy but secretly say right on brother.

Richele McFarlin on March 31, 2010 at 10:15 AM said...

LOL...I hear voices all the time! lol.

My son was hit once. When the kid tried to do it again, he took the kid down. He didn't hit the little monster..just took him to the ground and held him there. he let go..kid tried to hit him again. Again, my son took the kid down. I was so proud. That kid NEVER bothered my kid again. Proud because he stood up for himself and made a point without a punch. However, I can't say I would have cared that much if he did. lol.

Linda Medrano on March 31, 2010 at 10:29 AM said...

Men are funny critters. Gotta love 'em. Can't shoot em.

Joann Mannix on March 31, 2010 at 10:50 AM said...

Oh, that is so typical of the parenting in this house! My husband's advice is more "basic" and sometimes that lends to punch them in the face, but actually sometimes it works. Like the fact he always tells me, when the teenaged girls are all up in my face, being sassy and trying to get a rise out of me and I just HAVE to answer them back, he always says, "Don't try and reason with them because they are teenaged girls, they have no reason." And surprisingly, he's right.

Betty Manousos on March 31, 2010 at 12:48 PM said...

LOL! Your husband sounds like my ex.
Hope you're having a great day !
Betty x

Robin on March 31, 2010 at 1:02 PM said...

..LMAO..this is great..!!..Well I got of course they listen to me, but ask him for money....Woo Hoo..!!...Yes over the years they have heard a "punch her out"..or "kick him where it hurts"....but have always chosen to do it my way...yes, sitting down at the table and planning out a vicious or ugly rumer to start...Naaahhh..!..Just Kidding..but we did fantasize over milkshakes, the things we would like to do to the bullies, but never go through with...when I told my therapist this is how I helped my kids..he told me I was very immature and guiding them in the wrong direction..I stopped going to him...(so no, I no longer hear the voice any more)..BwAhhahah..!

Ziva on March 31, 2010 at 2:21 PM said...

Do you have to have kids to hear voices? Is it bad for you if you hear voices without kids? Because if it is, then I'm in trouble.

Deb on March 31, 2010 at 2:57 PM said...

I hear voices. Every friggin' day. They belong to the geriatric patients that one of the eye doctors where I work has.

"Where'd ya get your wig?"
"Hey sugar pants, are you married?"
"Why the hell do I have to tell you anything?"
"When I take out my contact lenses, everything is blurry."
"You are a beautiful girl and I am not a lesbian."

After each of these comments, I inevitably here a voice that sounds remarkably like your husband's:
"Punch them in the face."

BugginWord on March 31, 2010 at 4:52 PM said...

Why bother with the face when there are balls for punching? Duh.

ReformingGeek on March 31, 2010 at 5:00 PM said...

I love Deb's comment.

I hope your son can stand up for himself. I hate bullies.

I hear Evil Twin in my head.


The Queen on March 31, 2010 at 5:31 PM said...

My voices think they can punch your voices in the face!

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip on March 31, 2010 at 6:12 PM said...

OMG! Before I even read, "punch him in the face" I was already hearing it in my mind because that is what my husband is always saying. It's like the testosterone solution to all evils. WTF? Here I am trying to teach my son to use his words and my husband is out there trying to beat up other kids parents? I think your husband and mine should go on a man date. For reals. They would LURV each other.

Joy@TPMG on March 31, 2010 at 6:27 PM said...

Yep, I hear the voices. Sometimes it is hard to hear what is being said though over the bickering between them.

Lothiriel on March 31, 2010 at 8:42 PM said...


I had a bully in elementary...I hate to disappoint you but I'm gonna go with punch him in the face. Sometimes, the other kid's parents don't do shit about it.

I plan to have Emma learn self defense right away.

I guess I still can't shake off my bully days. She made my life miserable for many years and I told mom, the principal, her mother knew and nothing was done.

Anonymous said...

It's old advice but it'll never steer you wrong..nose,throat and!

Andrea on March 31, 2010 at 8:55 PM said...

Oh geez, I love it. It's so true. SO true. Well said.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes. I hear that voice too.

It seems men will always think that punching someone in the face will solve all their problems.

Dorothy on April 1, 2010 at 12:55 AM said...

Oh do I hear voices and yes mostly it is my mothers, and sometimes when that happens I want to punch to punk in the face..

Dorothy from grammology

Unknown on April 1, 2010 at 4:42 AM said...

It's so true. The same scenario played out in our home. My son ended up punching the bully after being constantly tormented, and the kid never bothered him again. About voices in my head. That's the problem. I hear them all the time, but they don't say anything important or reasonable. They just ramble on about nothing, like a Seinfeld episode.

Anonymous said...

That was the funniest post!I wish there weren't an underlying issue that I know I have to deal with...bullying is just no fun, as Lluvia pointed out...I might just have to compromise between reason and wisdom and have Lil Bits punch the kid in the face while I'm talking to the principal...not right, I know, but at four she's already experienced some "bullying". So far, no hitting has been encouraged. Great post!

Snuggly Monkey on April 1, 2010 at 9:11 AM said...

Came over from SITS and so glad I did - hilarious post. Thanks for the laugh. We hear the voices around here too :)

Cheryl on April 1, 2010 at 9:39 AM said...

We've done both: when my kindergartner came home every day complaining about one kid pushing him around, we talked to the teacher. It didn't stop. We spoke to the teacher AGAIN. Still nothing. So we told our son - AND the teacher - that he would be defending himself and if he punched that kid, it would be FINE WITH US. Miraculously, our son has not complained about the other child again!

Captain Dumbass on April 1, 2010 at 11:32 AM said...

My son prefers to head butt.

Unknown on April 2, 2010 at 4:21 AM said...

Ah, the voices. a parent's bestfriend. In this case, I'm voting for the analyst! Good Friday!

Sarah on April 2, 2010 at 5:35 AM said...

Thanks for stopping by and being 298!!!

I just became your follower.

TamsJewelry on April 2, 2010 at 5:55 AM said...

Hello,I am your newest follower.Happy Friday Follow.Have a great weekend.

Cybil on April 2, 2010 at 6:52 AM said...

Funny story - first some background... My neighbor Jeff and I grew up together, and now our kids are growing up together. His son is the same age as my daughter. A few years ago (they were probably 3 or 4) the son was really picking on my daughter, and on a couple of occasions, he allegedly hit her (I say allegedly because my daughter has been known to embellish stories). Anyway, I told my daughter, "the next time he hits you, I want to you hit him back over and over until he is on the ground crying." My husband agreed (he grew up with the father too ! Of course, I knew this boys dad would NEVER come over and give me grief for my daughter beating up his son. He would put his tail between his legs and pretend like it never happened. Ha ha!

beadsandmorebylois on April 2, 2010 at 7:26 AM said...

Thanks for the follow, Happy Easter x

Liz Mays on April 2, 2010 at 10:33 AM said...

OH MY GOSH! That makes me laugh! I'm somewhere in the middle with it. Anyone throws a punch at my kid and he has my permission to beat the living crap out of the kid and won't get in any trouble from me. Ok, slight exaggeration about the level of destruction...but you know.

Babes Mami on April 2, 2010 at 5:41 PM said...

Following you back! Ian said he would vouch that you alright lol.

Thanks for coming to see me!!

Unknown on April 2, 2010 at 6:51 PM said...

I'm not ready for this crap yet. My kids are 4. They hit each other and pull each other's hair all the time, but that's just sibling rivalry. Now if they do it to someone else....ugh. I don't wanna think about it. I'm sure me & hubs will be at odds about it, too.

Jen on April 2, 2010 at 9:03 PM said...

We've been having this conversation at home. Daughter has been picked on. I tell her to talk to the other child, if that fails talk to the teacher, if that fails I'll go talk to the teacher. My son just advised her to punch the kid in the face, for the same reasons your husband gave. I'm torn. I know the right answer but both guys have a point, it would save so much time.

Ericka Clay on April 3, 2010 at 6:51 AM said...

i'm gonna have to side with "dad" on this one. nothing like delivering a solid punch in the face...

but seriously, i'm all about communication. plus, confrontation makes me feel like tinkling in my pants.

The Absence of Alternatives on April 3, 2010 at 5:44 PM said...

Don't tell me you don't feel the urge to go punch the kids yourself?! I started having the urge to kick 3-year olds as soon as I became a mother. I thought motherhood is supposed to mellow you out but instead it's giving me violent thoughts! LOL. My kids do listen to my husband's better. I bribe. He yells.

Linda Medrano on April 3, 2010 at 7:05 PM said...

Happy Easter to you and yours Darlin'! Have a lovely day!

Buggys on April 4, 2010 at 7:02 AM said...

It's my Mother's voice that is forever stuck in my head and talking to me when I'm doing something she doesn't approve.

Happy holiday!

Nicole @ Chic and Cheap Nursery on April 4, 2010 at 7:58 AM said...

Oh I hear the voices!
It's mostly my husband telling me I am doing something wrong. Apparently, he was handed an instruction manual for our kid but never bothered to share it with me. Therefore, HE ALWAYS knows what's best for our daughter....

And then I scream at him until he caves and we do it my way =)

Nicole @ Chic and Cheap Nursery on April 4, 2010 at 7:58 AM said...

Happy Passover!

Claudya Martinez on April 4, 2010 at 1:08 PM said...

Did you punch your husband in the face?

Marg on April 4, 2010 at 1:26 PM said...

Sounds like everyone has a point. I don't have children so can't advise you. I think talking to the teacher is good and then hit the kid in the face. But make sure no one is watching.

Mammatalk on April 5, 2010 at 2:10 PM said...

A knuckle sandwich, I say.

sarah on April 5, 2010 at 8:45 PM said...

LOL! Ummmm, were you walking by my house just recently? Because this EXACT conversation ensued between my hubby and I.
My son ended up punching the kid in the face.
Made his nose bleed.
Got sent to the principal's office.
I was mad.
Mostly because he hit the kid.
But kinda about how he didn't listen me- just his dad.

Lacie @ Creative Attempts on April 5, 2010 at 9:10 PM said...

i'm pretty sure the only voice my son hears in his head is his own lol.

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