Monday, May 3, 2010

Blogroom Eyes

“We should have sex,” I announce to my husband throwing my unpacked bags on the bed.

What? Are you crazy? we just got back from vacation. I’m tired.”

“I just feel like we didn’t fulfill our vacation sex quota. I need more to look back on. Come on, we have a few hours left before it’s back to prison.”

“I thought I was already back in prison”


“Um….your hair has highlights like a …prism?”

“Yeah right, I thought so. Sex requires effort you know”

“So what say you take your effort and go make me something to eat and we’ll call it even….hey, where are you going? I thought you wanted to have vacation quota sex?”

“Never mind, I’m gonna catch up with my friends online….you can have it by yourself”

Vacation officially ovah yo!


And was it so wrong that I was mentally huffing and puffing to get back to you guys?

Oh, and can someone kindly remind me next time that going cold blog turkey can have some side effects?


Dee on May 3, 2010 at 5:35 AM said...

Yes, side effects. Because you come back and are overwhelmed by all of the posts you feel that you absolutely MUST read! lol

Liz Mays on May 3, 2010 at 5:35 AM said...

Welcome back!!! I know this cold blog turkey thing you speak of. It's not good for us!

Moooooog35 on May 3, 2010 at 5:38 AM said...

Your husband is giving men a bad name.

Seriously. What is his PROBLEM?

Babes Mami on May 3, 2010 at 5:45 AM said...

Welcome back!

ReformingGeek on May 3, 2010 at 5:59 AM said...

Welcome back. Yes, the online world appreciates you!

Cold blogs and turkey. Is that like green eggs and ham?


Tracie on May 3, 2010 at 6:00 AM said...

I was reading blogs on my phone whilst standing in line at Disney. And while sitting on a bench at The Met. (Shhhh!) I don't do cold turkey well at all.

Robin on May 3, 2010 at 6:12 AM said...

Welcome Back friend..! were did you really go cold turkey..or did ya cheat a little..inquiring minds want to know..Hope you had a great vacay..!

Maureen@IslandRoar on May 3, 2010 at 6:17 AM said...

His loss, right?
And our gain!

A Daft Scots Lass on May 3, 2010 at 6:33 AM said...

What's wrong with him? Tired?

Its SEX! I though every man would JUMP at a bitta that.

Vintage Christine on May 3, 2010 at 6:42 AM said...

I, too, was without blog for an entire week and I did not like it one bit. Reading other blogs on my iPhone helped but it's just not the same as when it's on a bigass computer monitor. And that sex thing? Meh.

Lori on May 3, 2010 at 7:39 AM said...

My husband always says that men will give up sleep, eating...pretty much anything for sex. And your husband proved him wrong! Wow!

Giving up blogging cold turkey sounds awful!

Jen on May 3, 2010 at 7:41 AM said...

I'm so glad you are back, and sorry you didn't get enough sex. Going cold turkey is so hard I haven't been willing to try it, iPhone is a life saver.

MommaKiss on May 3, 2010 at 7:44 AM said...

your husband needs a lobotomy! jeez!

BLOGitse on May 3, 2010 at 8:32 AM said...

Welcome back!
Not having sex is much better than a place where you should live but it sucks, there's a 'fire' at night and a gang of men having a party up stairs keeping me awake since 4:18 am...I want out of here!!!!


Joann Mannix on May 3, 2010 at 9:35 AM said...

I missed you Mrs. Blog A Lot! And yes, having just got back from vacay myself, I felt like it took me ions to catch back up with my friends.

No one in my family understood when I said I missed my blog friends. They think you are all my imaginary friends.

Glad you're back!

Dual Mom on May 3, 2010 at 9:37 AM said...

Glad to have you back - see the blog world obviously appreciates you much more than your husband!

Aunt Becky on May 3, 2010 at 10:00 AM said...

Oh blogging, how I can't quit you.

Sheila on May 3, 2010 at 10:04 AM said...

Welcome back! I don't think I could go away from my computer for any length of time. The only thing to make me stop blogging and reading blogs has been a hurricane. It was really stressful. That should have a drug to make it easier.

Unknown on May 3, 2010 at 10:19 AM said...

Missed ya! Welcome back. Hope you had a great vacation.

Blogging is an addiction. We should all be in rehab with Tiger. Oops. Wrong addiction. I was never much of a golfer. Oops again. He was in for a sex addiction. I wonder if listening to archived audio of Henry Kissinger was part of his rehabilitation.

Linda Medrano on May 3, 2010 at 10:44 AM said...

WTF? He turned down the last of vacation sex? Never mind, I prefer blogging anyway.

One Photo on May 3, 2010 at 11:04 AM said...

Your husband's loss is our gain - glad to have you back blogging, hope you had fun on vacation aside from the apparent low attainment level on the vacation sex quota :-)

Macey on May 3, 2010 at 12:41 PM said...

I couldn't do it.
I bought a fancy phone with e-mail and internet last summer so I wouldn't miss everyone on vacay. True story.

Lisa@GrandmasBriefs on May 3, 2010 at 2:13 PM said...

Hope you enjoyed the vacation, despite missing the blogging! So glad you're back.

Deb on May 3, 2010 at 4:08 PM said...

Welcome back! Put a fan on your desk (balmy tropical breezes), steal a palm frond that a Catholic saved from Palm Sunday if you don't have one (mini palm tree) and stick it in a halved watermelon saturated with vodka accompanied by a large straw and voila! You are on vacation while blogging!

PS: If you need to adjust your vacation sex quota, you do not need to leave your computer to do so. At least that's what I read somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Missed you, missed you, missed you. I haven't been the same. Moping, not up to par. I think it was mrsblogalot withdrawal.

Selfish, I know, but glad to have you back!!!

BugginWord on May 3, 2010 at 6:44 PM said...

So blogging induces the huffing and puffing, but vacation sex doesn't? Glad you're back, Diva!

Dorothy on May 3, 2010 at 6:45 PM said...

Am i going to feel that way when I get Monday? Don't let my husband read this because I already know I'm going to be tired...

LOL have a great week.

Dorothy from grammology

Jack and Alex Manning on May 3, 2010 at 8:19 PM said...

Have to admit the prism highlights is a good line...

I spent the week sitting shiva for my grandmother (jewish tradition of mourning) and even then wasn't able to go cold turkey. Luckily, my grandmother was an extremely understanding lady.

Peryl @

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on May 4, 2010 at 5:30 AM said...

Welcome back! Why do we feel like we need to have sex more often on vacay? I told my sister once that it seemed weird that I always got a bladder infection every time I went on vacation. "Maybe it's because I don't drink enough water," I said. She said, "Nah, it's because you're having more sex." I think she's right.

Alexandra on May 4, 2010 at 7:06 AM said...

I was wondering how you'd do...

I have the same fears.

We leave for Cali to see the in laws.

They'll never get this bloggy thing...

Glad to have you back, selfishy me.

Dr. Heckle on May 4, 2010 at 10:26 AM said...

Damn! Who turns down sex? Vacation or not?!

Joy@TPMG on May 4, 2010 at 12:19 PM said...

Welcome back! What is wrong with your husband? I thought all men would give anything for more sex?

Anonymous said...

Wait-wait-wait--- YOU HAD TO ASK -HIM- FOR SEX? And he said NO?

In what world does this happen?! Wanna trade?

Buggys on May 4, 2010 at 1:48 PM said...

Welcome back! He said no? Really?

Sassy Chica on May 4, 2010 at 3:03 PM said...

Nice to meet you!! sent her via Unkown Mami and Loving your blog:D

Sassy Chica

The Single Mothers Chronicles on May 4, 2010 at 4:28 PM said...

LOL - your Hubby has no idea what he's done....! Poor, (there's no other word for it).

Welcome back!

Anonymous said...

glad to have you back woman!

JD at I Do Things on May 5, 2010 at 7:27 AM said...

HA! "Vacation sex quota." I'm familiar with that concept.

And of going through withdrawal being away from my online life for more than a few days.

Ducky on May 5, 2010 at 8:21 AM said...

Wow...umm....I can do either - offer you sex or more blog time. Been in the same boat for years....glad you a have you back though. I've missed you *kiss*

drollgirl on May 5, 2010 at 10:31 AM said...

bah! i hope the vacation was fun!!!

and cutting blogging cold turkey is a bad idea. the shakes and the worries start within minutes of departure!

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) on May 5, 2010 at 10:41 AM said...

Dang girl.....what a predicament...Sex...or blog! I've only missed two days and I'm so far behind I'll never catch up. Why do we do this to ourselves? All I can say is WELCOME BACK!

Ya'll have a wonderfully blessed Wednesday!!!

Brilliant Sulk on May 5, 2010 at 2:56 PM said...

Wait. You have sex when you go on vacation?

I'm jealous. We usually end up visiting some crumbling European city, cram (har har) in far too many activities during the day, drink a bottle of wine, then pass out drunk.

Before you know it, we're on a plane, headed home. Minus the sexy time.

Bossy Betty on May 5, 2010 at 8:39 PM said...

Couldn't you do both at the same time? What about those multi-tasking skills??

Unknown on May 6, 2010 at 5:19 AM said...

Stopping by from SITS! Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Salt on May 6, 2010 at 9:32 AM said...

No kidding. I wish someone had told me that when we went on our honeymoon. I had major withdrawal symptoms. WELCOME BACK!!!

Anonymous said...

噴泉的高度,不會超過它的源頭。一個人的事業也是如此,它的成就絕不會超過自己的信念。 ....................................................

Michelle @Flying Giggles on May 6, 2010 at 12:08 PM said...

Major effects. We are going to Cabo at the end of this month and my laptop is staying home. It is crazy playing catch up after taking some time off. Between checking emails, visiting blogs and writing posts, you will probably be ready for another vacation.

Unknown on May 6, 2010 at 1:35 PM said...

Yay! You are back! I definitely have bloggy withdrawal every time I leave town. I am a wee bit addicted....

Beth Zimmerman on May 6, 2010 at 2:52 PM said...

Found you through Say Anything. Wildly amused! Now following. :)

Grabbing your button while I'm here.

Anonymous said...

I cant believe you even wanted sex BEFORE blogging... Maybe that vacation went to your head? =)

People Who Know Me Would Say: on May 7, 2010 at 7:13 AM said...

Did he have PMS or was he actually bleeding from his uterus?


Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip on May 7, 2010 at 8:31 AM said...

Cold Blog Turkey. That's a good one. But I really can't believe your husband turned you down on post vacay pre-prison sex. I think he must have been on his period.

Andrea on May 10, 2010 at 2:55 PM said...

Oh how we missed you! Doesn't your husband know how many husbands everywhere would kill for their wives to say, "Hey let's have sex."??? Is he crazy or something??

Claudya Martinez on May 10, 2010 at 5:33 PM said...

I don't know how you did it!

Anonymous said...

OMG! How did I not know about your blog!! It's amazing! Sorry hubby is spent from vacay sex...hey, it is pretty exhausting!

Found you thru Follow Me Back Tuesday! Thanks for linking up!

Lothiriel on May 13, 2010 at 8:24 AM said...

I love vacations, but coming back from one is tiring!!! I spent a whole week in Dallas with my family and coming back sucked ass. I traveled alone with the baby and she was horrible in the plane.
I hauled a baby, a stroler, a carseat, diaper bag, and my luggage! I don't know how I did it, but never again. Next time I travel, I'm shipping the items next day air!! LOL!

Good to know you're back!

Angie on May 17, 2010 at 8:16 AM said...

Vacation sex quota--love it! I totally know what you mean. You're a very funny writer. Can't wait to look around the rest of your blog.

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