Newbie No More!

I personally don't like the term Newbie. In fact, I hate it.

We are all new at some point; new to a town, new to a club, new to a website, new to an experience. But why would anyone voluntarily thrust this Newbie label upon themselves by way of an apologetic introduction? I don't remember anyone ever introducing themselves to me as a Newbie mother or a Newbie wife. I have heard people introduce themselves as an alcoholic...but that is another story (not mine).

At what point do you shed the Newbie label? Is there a ceremony? Is there a graduation term when you actually feel that you are no longer a Newbie? Is there a Becoming of Do-bie Celebration that I'm not aware of? Should I be shopping for an outfit?

The thing is, you probably are already a Dobie but might be afraid to come out as one. You apologize by Newbieizing yourself so that should you (heaven forbid) not be perfect in any way, you will be comforted by the collective sigh of understanding for all of your unknowing flaws. Ahh...she's a Newbie that's o.k.

Why even label yourself in the first place?

I guess that my hatred for the "N" word might have come from a story I saw once on the news a long time ago. It was about a senior citizen who had always dreamed of becoming a dancer. She said she just wanted to be able to say "I am a Dancer" before she died. Never once did she take a dance lesson or pursue this dream throughout her long life. But then, in her seventies, she went to her local dance studio and signed up for basic ballroom dancing lessons.

The local interest camera man followed her around the studio for a few days and during that time, he captured an exhilarated and lovely woman twirling and dancing enthusiastically to her own pace. When the camera man zoomed in for the final shot, her flushed and happy face broke into a wide grin and stated "My name is Jana and I am a dancer". I almost cried (Well I cry at game shows but still).

She was a dancer! She didn't say she was a Newbie dancer. She didn't even make the statement dripping in apology sauce. Nor did she mention the novice word once. She was a dancer.

Because she was dancing!

Because she was Doing!

From that moment on, I have always felt that if you Do....you are! If you talk about what you want to do....well then, I guess that you are just talking about what you want to do. That's not even being a Newbie. That's being a Wanna-be.

Usually, most people join groups because something draws them to it. Could be a dormant passion or possibly an unknown passion that triggers something deep inside of them. You know it's real when you are absolutely burning on fire to get whatever it is started. When you won't or can't stop until you are finally in motion or working towards its completion. Wherever you join, you are there for a reason. And you know it! Or you wouldn't have joined in the first place. Right? Don't hide behind that Newbie title!

Don't be afraid to shoot yourself out of the cannon at full force! Ready. Aim. Fire!

Introduce yourself. Not a label.

Now who wants to start the Happy Do-bie Dance?

Follow The Leader

Who remembers their First?

Was it a fabulous mind blowing experience?

One that you will always treasure?

Or was it a complete and horrible mess? An experience that you could not wait to erase?

How do you remember your First…..job?

What did you think I was talking about?

In most cases, our first experiences are the ones that stick with us. They make the initial cuts into our personal molds that begin to sculpt us as the person we will eventually turn out to be.

Our parents obviously are our first teachers, but they must eventually hand us off to the school system leaving us all open for a myriad of educational firsts.

I remember my first great school teachers as the ones who taught me the most.

With more adult clarity, it would now be defined as the ones that forced me to learn.

My Great Teacher category would certainly not include those whose teaching skills were halfhearted and tepid at best.

I loved the teachers that pushed me.

The ones who encouraged me to live up to my full potential,even when I did not feel like it –which was always. The ones who made me write and write until I learned to stop complaining about it and just do it.The ones who helped form my solid work and study habits that would last a lifetime.

There are a few standout teachers that I truly remember for those attributes. The others are just watery grade memories.

Entering into the real world, my teachers were eventually replaced by bosses.

As a brand new employee, I was anxious to learn and grow and I was willing to be shape shifted into anything that they needed me to be.

I was a clean slate.

I watched, listened and learned as I got a taste of how the real work-world went.

One of my first jobs as a teenager was at an all salad restaurant (ahead of its time back in the day). It was a brand new facility on the boulevard and my brother and I were lucky to land jobs making salads and dressings for the customers. They had the most awesome cucumber dill dressing that I had ever tasted.

Nothing compares to date.

The owners were strict but fair and we absolutely loved the tight ship that they ran. We came home and excitedly reported to our mother things like ‘and when you sneeze you have to run downstairs and wash your hands’ or ‘if you’re late, you can’t work your shift until the next day’or ‘If you don’t follow their dressing recipes exactly, you can get fired’.

Stupendous dill dressing does have its standards.

Who would have thought that kids relished in the pride that came from being a crew member of a tightly run ship? How lucky we were to have been given a lesson in supreme work ethic right out of the gate.

I remember them making a point of praising us in front of others and when there were directional issues that needed be addressed, always doing that privately.

Sounds simple right?

Such an easy recipe for managing people; Praise Publicly, Pounce in private.

Why is it that so many leaders forget this necessary ingredient for awesome Dill dressing?

Steady, strong and fair leadership was what we respected. We were only ever required to do the best job possible and consequently, we worked vigorously to earn extra praise each day, as an additional reward from our bosses.

Without the consistent follow up of the rules and regulations of what was expected of us, we would have all been allowed to flounder and eventually slack. OMG what a horrible standard to set! Instead we were given strict and fair guidelines and a paycheck as a reward for a job well done.

As I grew and moved on, I found that the same theories of teacher-greatness still applied themselves in bosses, supervisors, managers, leaders of leaders and owners of companies.

I have had my share of terrible bosses. They have also unknowingly shaped me into what I am today. And that is the antithesis of what they were.

Whenever I felt that I was treated unfairly or with poor choice communication, I would sock those feelings away and swear that I would never make anyone feel that same way if I were ever in their position. And eventually, I sure as hell was.

My greatest bosses, and I was extremely lucky to have a handful, were the ones who strived to make me better. These true leaders were phenomenal at developing those below them into becoming great leaders themselves. They possessed exceptional patience and a real passion for training.

They taught me all that they knew (without fear of being overthrown with all this new found knowledge) and then delegated full responsibility to me when I was ready, allowing me to soar or fall all based upon my own efforts.

They were competent and skilled managers who have been in my shoes and were specifically chosen because they proved that they were suitably qualified to lead.

As I continued to grow into a skilled qualified leader, I found myself emulating many of their wonderful qualities. My eventual success in my desired field, was a direct reflection on them and I was proud to shine on their stage.

My success equaled their success.

Am I mistaken to assume that a boss should be the same as a really great teacher? One who assigns responsibilities and tasks, enforces rules and regulations, guides and teaches. Listens? Molds? Develops? Takes suggestions without fear of losing commanding ground? Someone who possesses the lions’ share of your respective field experience, as well as the ability to pass on that knowledge in the most constructive and helpful manner possible?

This recipe for great leadership is not such a tall order. There are many statuesque individuals out there proving it day in and day out.

I will say that remembering all of your bad experiences is definitely a good thing. They will help lead you in better directions throughout your entire life. Ex-boyfriends not excluded.

Keep your eyes wide open in recognizing a good path not just for its lack of past bad attributes but for its potential future possibilities.

Many thanks to those leaders who scored the deeply ingrained pride and work ethic notches into my own personal clay.

Reading Below The Post

Don’t you just love reading the comments posted below your favorite blogs?

Just me? No way! Come on.

When I read a blog that is of particular interest to me, I absolutely love reading the comments below. Sometimes I will comment first-just to get out what I want to say and then there are times when I comment after reading the other comments.

It is so comforting to be in a room of bloggers and readers that understood what I just said.

As we know, a story is rarely written without some sort of conflict and sometimes, the conflict shows its’ troublesome thread below the post. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. You know you can’t wait for a comment fight to break out.

There are instances, for me, where the comments are even more entertaining than the actual blog.

Finding some juicy comments to read are easily found on Blogher posts. And as I occasionally post on Blogher, I love to read as many blogs as possible while I’m there. At times, I find their posts can be a little heavy for me but, most times I can find some really interesting ones. And yeah, sometimes I even find some comment fights (-:

The great posts are usually accompanied by a string of comments that hang heavy on its tail.

I secretly (well not secretly any longer), contemplate if the response tail is so lengthy because the post is exceptional or that the following is. There is usually a solid connection when you have a mutual follow relationship with someone. You might be prompted to comment more often on their blogs than you would on someone’s that you haven’t had any past communication with (and I have to admit that sometimes I don’t comment because I think they will be like Who the hell are you? Dumb, I know but there you have it) But again, that is just sometimes, I can’t keep quiet often apparently.

The enormity of the comment response to some blogs is astounding. I have seen five, six, ten, fifteen or more comments on a single post! Uh..ye-ayh, jealous.

Is it truly compelling content or are we just compelled to comment?

Whichever the answer may be, I love the comments the best and will seek them out happily every time. Reading them, commenting on them and of course receiving them! Who doesn’t love that?

What better drama than the volley back and forth from blogger to commenter or commenter to commenter (again, so glad you guys get it).

And what a superior personal achievement for the author of the blog post in creating such passion in response!

It’s like blog reality TV…or Blog reality computer…or some kind of reality something.

The avid reader in me is compelled to suck all the bones of the blog dry including the comments. Can’t help it. It’s the juiciest part! (-:

What about you guys? Are you a comment reader, leaver, both or neither?

Contact Info

Email me: contactme@mrsblogalot.com

Twitter: @mrsblogalot

Confessions of a Weight Loss Consultant

Check out my latest guest post on girlgetstrong.com

Confessions of a Weight Loss Consultant

Speaking of previous lives…

In one of my last ones, I doubled as a weight loss consultant for a very popular weight loss center.

It was one of the most gratifying, albeit low paying positions I have ever held. I probably would have stayed on forever had I been able to afford cat food but alas, I had to eventually go where the food sustaining money was. Sucked really. It was a real calling for me.

Anyway, poor pay plans on their part aside; I met hundreds of clients and got to know all of their own individual weight goals and obstacles. As I struggled with weight loss throughout most of my twenties, I could totally relate to everything that they were going through. Feelings of low self esteem, hopelessness and hands in the air despair. Ughh! I was miserable! I don’t even want to think about it! There was nothing worse for me and I was constantly searching and experimenting with diets, magic pills and hypnotists that got me nowhere.

So it always touched me when an overweight person sat in front of me with eyes begging for a miracle, I poured my heart and soul into helping her in the mere fifteen minutes that I was allotted.

Some were successes, some were not and some never came back. I tried not to take it personally as the weekly food and programs were costly and perhaps the program just didn’t work for them or maybe they just weren’t truly ready.

I found that most clients usually took the join-up plunge after a major food holiday or a fight with their closet, spouse or inner self. A spontaneous cry for help. But sometimes spontaneity doesn’t stick as well as resolve.

My favorite and most productive part of the position was the actual consulting with each individual client. I was cheerleader, priest, friend and mother all rolled up into one. I got to wear all of my hats. And I love to wear hats. I also got the satisfaction of truly helping some wonderful people in meeting their weight loss goals. It felt great to be part of their personal successes.

My least favorite part of the job was coaxing clients into buying the pre-packaged foods-not that the food wasn’t awesome, my own freezer was filled with the meals but they paid consultants on food and product purchase commission (hence I needed to pay my electric bill). It just felt dirty to me after mentally holding their hands through such a vulnerable and difficult fifteen minutes.

In my struggles, I was never obese, maybe fifteen pounds out of my own skin comfort zone but I’ll never forget how uncomfortable I was in those days. I used to make excuses for eating (yes, sometimes out loud) O.K. I’ll eat this and then later only have a salad or I’ll just have one of these and then won’t eat lunch….it went on and on. One time, a friend actually commented on my Let’s Make a Deal eating habits. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it so much until he said something to me. ‘Why are you making deals with yourself?’ he questioned. I didn’t have an answer so I just stopped doing it.

And surprisingly, once I stopped analyzing and announcing everything that went into my mouth, I started to feel a little better each day. I also went crazy and joined a gym. And when I discovered that if I worked out, I could eat pretty much what I wanted (without the extra weight of a mental scale) I worked out with a true purpose. To Eat!

Without trying, I actually developed some good exercising habits (as well as a firm butt); I eventually trimmed down to where I wanted to be although I never weighed myself. I never was a big scale fan. I just felt that if my clothes fit well and I didn’t have to constantly pull an oversized shirt over the front of my jeans, I didn’t need to see an actual number below my feet.

Exercising became part of my daily life (not like a nut but enough to feel that my body was in productive motion and getting stronger every day) and I really never paid that much attention to food again (as obsessively at least-I’m not dead yet).

I also learned that nothing tastes as good as lean feels on me. Been saying that out loud and in my head for years.

No other phrase has ever come close to making more sense to me than that. Jenny must have overheard it running in my head and put it in print. Just because you print it, doesn’t make it yours right? That’s o.k. I don’t hold grudges (-:

Good and bad points aside, I am still a huge fan of this program or any weight loss program that can get you in and motivated to change your life. And they will work if you work at it.

From my own experiences from both sides of the weight loss consulting desk, I would say, seek help only when you are ready to receive it or else it will be costly and eventually shelved on the This Crap Doesn’t Work shelf which could possibly turn into an I’m Still Miserable Closet that is even harder to clean and straighten out.

I have found that only cars and lights will work when you turn them on. Other things need a little help from us in order for them to function properly.

Nothing tastes as good as lean feels on me. Yup. Still rings true after all these years.

Mrs. Blogalot is a working mom, wife and creative writer turned blogger. Buckle up and come take a fun trip around the blog with her as she lets it all out one blog at a time. Mrsblogalot -you just can’t keep a good blog down!