Contrary to what I might have led you guys to believe, my husband and I have a simply fabulous relationship. Fifty-fifty workload, healthy communication, love and affection, mutual admiration and respec….
Okay he’s gone.
Now what was I saying?
Oh yeah….Jack of Asses….
In this new marriage card game, a husband places down a card of blame for each incident that goes wrong in your life. Each card holds the power to hurl insults and blistering fire sticks (similar to Pokémon only bloodier).
The object of the game is to get the wife to screech and wail until she appears to be a raving lunatic so that social services come to your home to investigate.
In this game, the blame card is always wild.
It can be played for money issues, economic woes, sagging asses and body odor.
If the husband religiously follows the rules of the game, as most do, chances are he will be victorious in placing the wife in a straight jacket for all time and be free to tour the country on the Jack of Asses Circuit.
This game can be played over and over and over and over …..And be suffered enjoyed for years to come.
Disclaimer: If you find yourself losing your sanity too early in the game, chances are you have already lost the round to a real pro and might as well give up.
In these extreme cases, shut your mouth and concede to his skill and go load up your arsenal.
Ages 18 and up
Ammo not included
Warning: small explosive pieces may cause choking…if you’re lucky.
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30 comments:
OMG!! You are hilarious!! Love it love it love it! (where can I purchase this game??)...nah...never mind...I think I've played it too much already!
I own this game. I'd like to return for Candyland, please.
I would like to exchange this game for a version of Monopoly.... much less dangerous to my sanity. LOL I play this game waaaaaaayyyyy to often.
LMAO! And yet another reason why I'm single.
Oh, you're good.
If you're lucky....
hahaha...this made me laugh! Love it.
I've played this one before. It always ends with cards shoved up my husband's ass and me in tears eating M & Ms.
Hey Melyssa! I found you from MBC. LOVE your blog! I'm following now!
You are hysterical and seriously talented! I have an award for you..yeah I know those are a pain in the a** but I love your blog! http://underthegoldenappletree.blogspot.com/2009/11/bloggy-business-awards-and-ive-been.html
i have added you in my links please do add mine
new or old, its always a game.. its a game of work!
I needed a laugh - what a great post...you really should think about turning this into a mini-game :-)!
Swati
All the cards up my sleeves are jokers. I tend not to win at these kinds of games.
This post makes me laugh, yet at the same time brings tears to my eyes. I sometimes feel like Blanche at the last scene in Streetcar being taken away. He doesn't understand why I talk to strangers online all the time. Women at that. Kindness is I am looking for. And it seems, sadly, kindness is easier to dole out to strangers than to the person you (are supposed to) love the most...
Oh girl this post couldn't have come in a perfect or is it worse day in my life. Some days this man I think wants me to loose it :).
Thanks so much for stopping by :)
That's a "Royal Straight Flash" kind of post there, mel!!!
an award should be given you for that...in addition to this award waiting for you LADY "mrs" BLOGGER ;)
http://heniperrr.blogspot.com/2009/11/lady-ms-bloggersssssss.html
THANK YOU for the comment ;)
This is simply awesome! Now, what about some sort of Wild Card, meant to come up infrequently, and usually after you've had several nights in a row of your child going to be wayyyy too late? The Wild Card might show a disheveled housewife and say "This IS the night".
I'm in!
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em...know when to walk away, and know when to run!
LOL, too true! I feel the same way!
Oh yeah, I get to play this game too! I think it's a prerequisite for husbands and they were born with the ability to be champs at it. LOL
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Love this! You're my kind of gal!
OMG We think so much alike. I grabbed your button for my blog. I'm definitely following you.
i don't know why i didn't have you on my following list...but i'm here now. deal me in!
too funny! I'm following from MBC. I hope you will check out my blog when you get a chance.
My wife would concur.
I never knew there was an actual name for this game. I just called it "Drive me back to prozac."
Love the Pokemon reference! My husband and I have been married for 10 years, are working through the challenges that come with being together for over 15 years, having two children, financial troubles, and crappy work environments. My oldest daughter is a Pokemon fanatic, so it was fun to imagine Pikachu hurling sonic insults at Chimchar, while relating to the truth behind your craftily worded euphemisms. I'm loving your blog and your writing. I gotta thank those SITS gals! Jenn
My jack always trumps The Hubs jack, he just hasn't gotten that figured out yet. Happy IN-SITS day. What? I may or may not be a redneck.
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