Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Blogging Kingdom

Deep in the heart of the Blogging jungle, the female blogger sniffs the air for post sustenance. Sensing imminent danger, the male target backs off soundlessly into a corner keeping an unwavering eye on his foe.

The female blogger licks her claws in anticipation and waits patiently for the precise moment to attack.

At the first sign of the male’s weakness, she springs up at full speed, striking her prey in mid sentence….

“I want you to stop blogging about me” he grumbled.

“But Honey, you’re the star!” I embellished “and everybloggy loves you”

“It’s not normal. Nobody else’s husband has to watch every syllable that comes out of his mouth. What’s next? Details on our sex life?”

We have a sex life?

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Oh yeah. Sorry. You wanted to have sex right?”

Purrrrr..Clack….Clack…. Purrrrr….Clack.

“Stop that typing, you’re driving me crazy!”

“Oh sorry sweetie. Bad can’t stop me if you tried habit. I’m listening now”

Look into his eyes. Forget about the computer. Look into his eyes. Forget about the computer. Look into his eyes. Forget about the computer.

“What the hell are you doing now?”

EEK! Oops…. “Um, nothing. I’m listening. I’m listening”

Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention.

“You can’t keep journaling everything we talk about” Oh can’t I? “Something’s not right here. Can't you see it?”

What? Is there a typo?? OMG! Where?!! Where?!!

“I’m going out for a while”

Hmm? Okay…Hope you find the file”

…The female blogger is satiated once more. Giving her creative limbs a stretch; she listens to the deep male growl that can be heard throughout the blogging jungle.

Hey! How'd this guy get in here?


Jayne Martin on November 10, 2009 at 8:31 PM said...

See... I knew eventually there would be a reason I should have gotten married.

kim on November 10, 2009 at 9:47 PM said...

I've been given explicit instructions to not blog about my partner--so I just blog about her every once in awhile when its just too good not to share.

I get so much great material from our conversations and arguments that it's almost a sin not to blog it!

tattytiara on November 10, 2009 at 11:57 PM said...

I think the fact that my boyfriend is on dial up is going to be very good for our relationship.

Claudya Martinez on November 11, 2009 at 12:36 AM said...

I love nature shows!

A Daft Scots Lass on November 11, 2009 at 12:54 AM said...

Its an addiction...a complete addiction.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on November 11, 2009 at 3:18 AM said...

Tell him he's not the only one. They should start a support group, Blog Victim Husbands. As long as they don't blog about it, I have no problem with it.

Vodka Mom on November 11, 2009 at 3:33 AM said...

In my house everyone KNOWS that ANYTHING is bloggable.


MrsBlogAlot on November 11, 2009 at 5:00 AM said...

Thanks for the support guys!!...I'd love to tell him that he's not alone but he is nowhere to be found...Hmmm...strange (-:

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com on November 11, 2009 at 5:24 AM said...

It's truly a jungle out there! (And in the house)

There is an award for you on my blog today :) Congratulations to you :) Thanks for some great reading!

Rachel L. on November 11, 2009 at 7:31 AM said...

Hey, you got me thinking =)

My man always remind me to blog about this and that, and once in awhile he will ask will i be blogging about him.... hmmm =)

m following you, great blog! keep it coming =D

Alexis AKA MOM on November 11, 2009 at 8:02 AM said...

Now how flipping true is that! How many times do we all hear "You're not going to blog about this are you?" Hello eyeroll what do you think? Don't you know people rely on me to post these things so they know like I do we're not crazy and we all have husb that do the same stuff ... LOL

The Absence of Alternatives on November 11, 2009 at 8:30 AM said...

LOL! Show him what Jenny over at The Bloggess writes about her husband, and he would stop complaining. And yes, we do LOVE Mr. Blogalot. Just tell him that.

Jenny on November 11, 2009 at 8:44 AM said...

PFFFFFFFFFFFT I blog about my husband all the time. He doesn't care. xD Tell your man to get over it or he'll kill your creativeness and you'll cry in front of him forever so he'll feel bad. LMAO!

Nicole @ Chic and Cheap Nursery on November 11, 2009 at 9:10 AM said...

Love it! First time visiting your blog!

Similar conversations happen at my house everyday. But my husband doesn't read my blog so it's all good.

we were having an argument the other day and I swear i took out a pen and paper and said "can i quote you on my blog?'.


MrsBlogAlot on November 11, 2009 at 1:06 PM said...

He can run but he can't hide!

Dutch Sugar Babe on November 11, 2009 at 1:45 PM said...

"everybloggy loves you”
That's so funny. Well, this whole post is funny :)

marymac on November 11, 2009 at 2:10 PM said...

love it! my husband actually COMMENTED my blog the other day about a camping trip we were on, i was like HUH?!? i forget he might be reading it sometimes! oopsy! :)

Everybloggy loves you, Mrs. B!

2Wired2Tired on November 11, 2009 at 2:12 PM said...

Funny! This is how I feel about my husband and his iPhone. So he can't say much about my blogging.

Found you on MBC Friends Group. I like your blog, am following and looking forward to reading more.

Aunt Becky on November 11, 2009 at 2:49 PM said...

This is why I'm thrilled that The Daver never reads my blog.

AQ on November 11, 2009 at 3:02 PM said...

Hilarious! I've just started a blog and was wondering where the line went, now I know the gloves are off in the blogging world, Im gonna take mine off slowly ;)
Also, ur reaction is exactly like mine when my husband wants to talk, i try try try not to be so preoccupied :)


Lee on November 11, 2009 at 3:51 PM said...

That is so funny! I blog about everything my hubby says too. Is it my fault he makes good blog??

Amo on November 11, 2009 at 5:41 PM said...

My husband tells me that he has been widowed by the computer. And, i don't disagree. I'm addicted.

Tracie on November 11, 2009 at 6:28 PM said...

My husband has read my blog one time. It happened to be a post in which I called him a Facebook whore and accused him of having a secret e-mail account. Oops.

Smart Mouth Broad on November 11, 2009 at 8:23 PM said...

Hilarious! MHS isn't crazy about his role in my blog either. My daughters on the other hand, will pout if they are not mentioned regularly. LOL

If you master that diverted attention thing, please share.

Mama-Face on November 11, 2009 at 9:16 PM said...

This is so funny. My husband is really just background scenery in my blog; I just point him out once in a while. He knows I 'blog' he just doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about. As long as I stop typing long enough for, you know...it's all good with him. I lurve him.

I LOVE the layout of your blog. I can't stop staring at it. I feel like I'm looking at a really cool catalog. I will be back to see what else you've got.

ellen on November 11, 2009 at 10:37 PM said...

have a nice day...really a good topic to share with...God bless...glad to hear from you too.

Jane Lively on November 12, 2009 at 7:14 AM said...

when i started blogging my husband soon realized, and made abundantly clear, that he did not like being subject matter. choose your battles i like to say.

Michelle on November 12, 2009 at 8:44 AM said...

Thanks for stopping by my 365 blog.

What a hoot. I really enjoyed this post! Makes me want to read more. :)

JD at I Do Things on November 12, 2009 at 12:30 PM said...


My husband is one of my best sources for blog fodder. And I suspect he does and says things JUST to get in the blog. He's a good sport.

Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary on November 12, 2009 at 1:28 PM said...

OMG - sooooo glad I'm not the only one!! Too funny, thanks for sharing!

Ann Imig on November 12, 2009 at 4:46 PM said...

I will not blog during sex, I will not blog during sex, I will not blog during sex.

Great post!

Jen on November 12, 2009 at 5:58 PM said...

Awesome post. But like on Wild Kingdom I often wondered why the photographer never prevented the little animals from getting killed by the big mean animals, I suppose we readers shoulder some responsibility too... Nah!

Tawnia on November 12, 2009 at 10:43 PM said...

I would so rather blog than have sex! I am not the only one!!!! I knew there were others:)Great writing!
Love mommyspaceblog

LucyCooper on November 13, 2009 at 12:36 PM said...

I asked my husband if I could blog about his vasectomy today. I love my husband- he has no boundaries.
Oh, and T-minus 7 days !! Edddwwwaaarrddddd

rinelle on November 14, 2009 at 4:59 AM said...

Happy Weekend! Your visit is a blessing! God Bless!

MsTypo on November 14, 2009 at 5:27 AM said...

Hi, stopping by from BPOTW! :)

Love the post! My husband always complains he comes off badly in my blog. LOL

Rajee on November 14, 2009 at 10:41 AM said...

I found your blog in the following friends in MBC I already followed your blog, please follow my two blogs, http://momsfocusonline.com and http://rajeeslifestyle.blogspot.com/

Let you know that 10 giveaways are posted in my blog, http://momsfocusonline.com

HeartsMakeFamilies on November 16, 2009 at 5:57 AM said...

LOL This so sounds like my husband and my talks. He is always telling me don't talk about me.

The mad woman behind the blog on November 17, 2009 at 12:58 PM said...

Stopping by from Jayne's world. Did you hide a microphone in my living room? I swear this just happened to me.
Love your humor!

Matty on November 29, 2009 at 8:37 AM said...

Stopping by via Two Normal Moms.

I've done a few posts about conversations with my wife. But their usually about me being wrong and her being right.

Love your posts.

Aspen Real Life on December 10, 2009 at 3:10 PM said...

Very funny. I'll have to let my husband know that he is not alone in this crazy blogging world. You captured our insanity sooo perfectly!!

The Single Mothers Chronicles on December 11, 2009 at 12:44 PM said...

Ha! That was so fun to read (seriously, you have to tell him that he provides a lot of entertainment for the rest of us :-) ).
My boyfriend has the same beef...

Vivianne's Vista on January 10, 2010 at 9:33 PM said...

Very funny. My children are the ones generally complaining about my new addiction, Mr. B not so much.(He doesn't read my blog obviously!) This was hilarious. Just catching up from Aspiring Writers Club.

Unknown on August 16, 2010 at 12:18 AM said...

Oh I can so relate. My hubs gets so sick of me ignoring him every single night while my creative juices flow.

Karen & Gerard on August 16, 2010 at 3:03 AM said...

Love your writing here--the jungle analogy is great!

Seriously though, I think husbands understandably do not want their private lives splattered on their wife's blog. I usually run my draft posts about Gerard by him first and if he objects to anything, I either change it or don't post it. A good relationship with my husband is way more important to me than any blog post.

Stopping by from SITS.

Young Wife on August 16, 2010 at 5:19 AM said...

Ha, ha! Stopping by from SITS. My DH is the reason I started blogging. :)

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity on August 16, 2010 at 6:13 AM said...

Ha! Hubs has decided to stop reading my blog so as not to get the jitters when he reads about all of the dumb things that he has done. Although, on a side note, when I publicly called him out about not changing the toilet paper roll, mutual friends read it and hazed him unmercifully. Miraculously, the TP roll now gets changed. Battle won! :) Glad there are other husbands out there that feel the same way (and wives, of course, that pay them no mind!!).

Mama Bub on August 16, 2010 at 2:19 PM said...

Every time we have an argument or the husband says something ridiculous, he asks if I'm going to blog about it. Nothing is sacred!

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