THANKSGIVING: Now listen up you Santa ball licker. If you want to make it to see the New Year you better pay close attention.
CHRISTMAS: Gulp
THANKSGIVING: First rule- get the sleigh bells out of your mouth mincemeat. Nobody can understand a word you’re saying through those lying rotten gingerbread teeth. Either you’re about the holiday or you’re about the cash. Now which one is it?
CHRISTMAS: Uh…well….both?
THANKSGIVING: Not good enough snowscrape! I’ve been trashed by the whole "ooooohhh don’t trample over and kill me at Walmart" Black Friday crap for way too long. I’m not taking the rap for this one. Now I want some answers!
CHRISTMAS: Well..um..Maybe if you…have you thought about coming out on a… uhhh…a Monda…
THANKSGIVING: Shut the hell up Elfballs I didn’t say you could speak!
Menorah-Man over here is just waiting for a chance to kick your fat red ass. Don’t make me get him all lit up!
CHRISTMAS: But I thought you aske…
THANKSGIVING:
Enough talking chinrolls!…I am tired of being overlooked by your holier-than-thou–Jingle Jolly crap. You and your rancid HO’s better start shaping up or we’re gonna….
CHRISTMAS: Now wait just a merry second. Are you calling Mrs. C. a HO...?
THANKSGIVING: Shut your sugarplum pie hole you overdone fairy and go find yourself another way to suck the blood out of these lamb chops. Leave the real eats to the big dogs! And while you’re at it, get your tardload off my Friday coattails and start doing what you are supposed to do. Wait your damned turn you anxious bitch!
It’s not my fault your biggest day comes after Christmas. That’s what you get for starting in July! Shove all your damned returns! I’m tired of getting stuffed with all the bad press. Now go tell your leader to meet my demands and nobody’ll get hurt.
CHRISTMAS: Sssss sssuuuuree thhh thhhiiing Mr. T – whatever you want…
THANKSGIVING: That's better! About time a turkey gets a little respect around here.
Now you tell him I want…No you DEMAND that I….Make sure he better.....
Tell him I want the new SpongeBob Snuggie. I’m tired of freezing my ass off in that damn fagot parade.
Oh and tell him to lay off the Jenny Craig. He’s starting to lose his appeal.
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16 comments:
omg i love it!!!!!! i hate how Thanksgiving is just getting overlooked this year. Thanks for the laugh
hahahahahahahahahahahaha..... ha
I read this to my DD, she is always bitching about Xmas stuff overshadowing the other holidays. SHe giggled and then snorted... great one!
I love it.
what is this thanksgiving you speak of? is it a new holiday? because i thought that christmas came right after holloween!
http://www.thewannabewahm.com
About time Thanksgiving stood up for himself!
I'm all for Thanksgivin', but that Turkey needs to get its mouth washed out with some mistletoe.
visiting you again, wishing you a nice week ahead ;)
Update:
Angry Turkey was caught and is now being served...I mean serving a life sentence.
Christmas is free once again to continue to overshadow all holidays.
Menorah Man is actively seeking counseling.
LOL I absolutely love this. I hate that Christmas stuff was out before Halloween. Just simply hate it.
I love you.
That is all.
Carry on being awesome.
Oh thank you. You've just inspired another post. I needed this!
Ha! I totally sympathize with Thxgiving...it's all about timing isn't it?
Swati
We don't have Thanksgiving in the UK - but the Christmas decorations are up in all the shops and it won't be long before the music follows...by the time Christmas is actually here we'll all have had enough! (Of fake over-commercial festive cheer - not of true Christmas spirit!)
Stopping by from BPOTW! :D
OMG that was too funny!!!! ROTFL "Not good enough snowscrape!" Brilliant, brilliant post!
LOL. Really.
And my inner angry turkey I got tagged for" language" on BPOTW....Bonus!!!!!!
I even tried my best not to drop one turkey F-bomb!
Whoohoo I feel like such a rebel (-:
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