Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Silence is Overrated

Sometimes work can be more than just a measly paycheck.

Sometimes there is some great blog material to be had (if you are nosy enough like me).

And sometimes it can be just a bunch of completely unsolicited crap spewed at you all day long.

But today was a good day as a co-worker informed everyone at lunch that her daughter, sadly, will not be in her Church Christmas pageant this year.

“Why not?” someone feigning interest asked in between bites.

C’mon like you would have cared either.

“Well" she explained "Because we received a newsletter home last week informing us that our Priest is gay

Blog alert! Blog alert!

“Gay huh?” finally something interesting around this dry joint “What’s the old Priest-Out-O'-Meter up to this week?” I asked

Well someone had to be the first

“Ha ha. So funny” she eye-rolled.

Well I thought so.

Dry Bat.

“Well, you don’t hear about any Rabbis goin’ out and gettin’ gay

do ya?"

Apparently, I only open my mouth to change feet.

Careful don’t-want-to-offend-because-I-have-to-live-with-these-people-five-days-a-week- chuckles lightly chime throughout the room.

Grow some balls people!

Non-attending-pageant-of-gay-priest mom continues “He decided to send a newsletter home explaining everything so that there wouldn’t be any talk

And they won’t talk now???!!!”

Would anyone have had the ability to keep quiet?

“I’m not sure but I do know that we are not attending that Church any longer. I was raised in a house where Gay was not the way

Hmmm…were her parents bumper stickers?

“That’s not to say that I don’t have many gay friends…” she quickly amended.

Can that statement be amended?

“Seems a shame that your daughter will be so disappointed. Can’t you just let her do the pageant this one year?” a brave soul asked

“But now he’s gay!” she gasps

Betcha anything he was gay yesterday too.

“And now he’ll be after little boys”

So, er, your daughter should be safe right?

“Who says that you’re automatically a Petafile when you’re gay?” Whoa...Go Accounting…represent!

I have got to eat slower

Everyone knows that. Priests are known for that” Not-The-Way-Mom raised by bumper stickers declared

So all actors and congressman are Petafiles too? What about my hair dresser? OMG… cut with gay scissors!!!! I must go home and hide my male cats!!!

Oops, did I say that out loud?

“It’s what I believe and I don’t have to explain myself!” huffy might be the most appropriate word here.

Well I guess that’s what religion is all about right? .....What you believe?

Hmmmm….now how to get out of this lunchroom gracefully.

“So….how’s about those Jews making up their minds on how to spell Chanukah...”

I really am my own worst disease.


Tracy DeLuca on December 16, 2009 at 2:12 PM said...

OMG.... I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut either!

Jayne Martin on December 16, 2009 at 2:37 PM said...

There's no cure for stupid. I'm not one who is easily offended, but ignorance and prejudice will do it every time. I would have ripped her a new one.

ReformingGeek on December 16, 2009 at 3:08 PM said...

I agree with Jayne. There IS no cure for stupid. I would have not only inserted both feet, but chewed and swallowed.

GAY is not the way? OMG!

I miss blog material from work!

Unknown on December 16, 2009 at 3:11 PM said...

"were her parents bumper stickers?" omg...lmao! i'm like you...i would have had fun with it in a very passive/aggressive manner. no sense in getting all riled up...she's not going to change her views on anything i have to say, right? might as well toy with her like a cat with a mouse. haha! love it!

adrienzgirl on December 16, 2009 at 4:19 PM said...

I can't believe she had the audacity to say now he'll be after little boys. Fucking ignorant bitch. Where the hell do the come up with this stuff? AND OMG! Gay is not the way? Your parent's were what? The bigot version of Dr. Seuss?

Brilliant Sulk on December 16, 2009 at 4:29 PM said...

In our house the slogan was always "Gay is the way. Oh yay!"

I cannot believe people are still this dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. That poor kid.

Claudya Martinez on December 16, 2009 at 5:17 PM said...

I guess in her house, "Lame was the game!"

Ducky on December 16, 2009 at 5:47 PM said...

LMAO....what great lunch room convos. Almost makes me wish I actually ate my lunch with other people insted of hiding behind a bookshelf in my office.


Oh and I totally have a mouth big enough for both my feet...especially when stupid is being spread like the clap through the cheerleading squad. Sheesh....after little boys....

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on December 17, 2009 at 4:59 AM said...

Your office is SO much fun! You've got a great cast of characters there. Stupid, bigoted, small-minded people are the best coworkers ever. So much more entertaining than regular people.

G on December 17, 2009 at 12:51 PM said...

i think i just found my blog soul mate. Every priest is gay. EVERY ONE OF THEM. They did not have a call to god, they were just not interested in chicks.
following your ass now!

Moooooog35 on December 17, 2009 at 1:56 PM said...

There's no cure for stupid.

You mean I'm GOING TO STAY THIS WAY?!?!?

The Absence of Alternatives on December 18, 2009 at 10:39 AM said...

“So….how’s about those Jews making up their minds on how to spell Chanukah...” Yeah, indeed. What about that?! ;-) LAMO at "Whoa...Go Accounting…represent!" I wish you'd give them the fist pump and woowoo shoutout for that bravery. The way Karma works, one of her children is gay. It always works this way. And if karma works, I hope for her children's sake that she comes around and shows understanding and compassion.

Angela on December 18, 2009 at 7:49 PM said...

LOL on the bumper sticker parents. People take themselves way too seriously... but back to the cats.... Just kidding. I've been so cat obsessed lately people are probably hiding them just in case I become a cat napper. :)

Glad you could find some humor at work. Seriously...I used to go to work, it was B-O-R-I-N-G! But getting paid kind of made up for it. :)

People Who Know Me Would Say: on December 19, 2009 at 5:08 AM said...

You and I should have been sitting across the table from one another; we could have vollied for the serve!

From under what rock does she crawl to catch the bus to work?

Tracie on December 26, 2009 at 6:56 PM said...

O.M.G. What really gets me is the hasty "I have gay friends" to justify her homophobia.

BonBon Rose Girls Kristin on December 27, 2009 at 11:04 PM said...

I wasn't aware all gay people were pedophiles. Geesh. How did you stand it? EEEEK!

Anonymous said...

Another stupid phobia revealed.


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