Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Sex Ref

Can somebloggy please explain therapy to me?

Therapy as in counseling.

Counseling as in marriage.

Is there anyone else out there who thinks this is the biggest crock of crap?

Let’s be truthful, the only reason people enter marriage counseling is to have someone with a degree in Listening-To-Crap declare you the Right One.

This way you can point the finger and say…See? I told you so. I’m right. You’re an ass. Now change your ways and let’s go home.

Why else would anyone go?

And who the hell wants to listen to the other person’s side anyway? And take mental notes on all the areas that you need to improve on?


If you’re not happy, do you really need to pay someone to tell you this?

Can I do it for half?

Can a highly paid referee really cure the reason you sought out counseling in the first place?

Has marriage counseling really ever worked for anyone?

I guess you can tell by all the question marks that I don’t really believe in marriage counseling.

To be clear,

I think it’s a professional freak show.

Which when televised can be quite entertaining.

But for the record, my husband shares my opinion. And if he didn’t, well…I certainly wouldn’t solicit a paid stranger to help us solve that.

Might as well get us a hooker to do us both by the hour.

Much better investment.

And a much better screw.

Perhaps I need counseling about counseling


….now about that Hooker….


Anonymous said...

lmao! I live in Nevada I could probably get you a hooker!

BTW - This is the 2nd time Ive told that Friend Connect thing that I want to follow you! Hope it sticks this time.

Shell on January 27, 2010 at 1:59 PM said...

That's hilarious! I don't really know what it would help, really. My Hubs would be all about that hooker thing, though.

ReformingGeek on January 27, 2010 at 2:02 PM said...


There are some male hookers out there in Nevada....

Ahem. So I've been told..

Anyway, I'm not sure I believe in paying someone to counsel me. For folks involved in a church, they might have some luck with their minister.

It will be interesting to see what others have to say.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of something Rose Nyland said on The Golden Girls: "I may be old fashioned, but why don't they just drink?"

(As an aside, my sister called me last night to tell me that she caught her husband with another woman - AND he gave my sister's engagement ring (that used to belong to his late grandmother) to the whore he's having an affair with!)

Can you believe that?

I say 'GAME OVER'!

Miss Spoken on January 27, 2010 at 2:31 PM said...

I agree with madtexter. And if I can't resolve the problem with a glass of Chardonnay, then it's really HIS problem anyway.

adrienzgirl on January 27, 2010 at 3:08 PM said...

You are so funny. You might have some deep seeded psychological problems, but nevertheless, FUNNY! ;)

Deb on January 27, 2010 at 4:08 PM said...

Yup. An expensive crock of crap to tell you what you already know, no different than a psychic. If you're both sitting on the couch, your hanging by a thread and the counselor holds the scissors. I like to hold my own scissors, thank you very much!

Anonymous said...

Love it... so funny and you are always sure to get someone with such a lemon puss face. Hubs would love the hooker and a happy ending to go with it!

Coffeypot on January 27, 2010 at 6:49 PM said...

The only good thing about theraphy is walking out of the room when it's over.

Jayne Martin on January 27, 2010 at 9:25 PM said...

Some people need a paid referee. They call it working on their marriage. And there it is... Yet another reason why I'm single. I have enough work to do. I don't need to "work" on a relationship. When they add "So long as we're both having fun" to the wedding vows, maybe I'll consider it. Till then I'm available to counsel others... ;)

Unknown on January 28, 2010 at 1:00 AM said...

OMG... you make me laugh!!
That was great ;)

I tried marriage councelling once.
I'm divorced.
'Nuff said.

Unknown on January 28, 2010 at 1:02 AM said...

oops, I meant "counselling".
The perfectionist in me would not let this be.

marymac on January 28, 2010 at 2:50 AM said...

Somebloggy here...sayin I agree! Spent the money on the hooker! ;)

marymac on January 28, 2010 at 2:56 AM said...

oops that was supposed to say SPEND the money, not SPENT which would make it sound like *I* spent the...nevermind.

People Who Know Me Would Say: on January 28, 2010 at 3:39 AM said...

I'm pretty sure if you went for the hooker idea, any problem in your marriage would be (at least temporarily) forgotten.

I asked my first husband to go to counseling with me...he declined. I went. I then divorced that husband. Would it have worked? I dunno. But him not trying was a defining moment.

Andrea on January 28, 2010 at 5:15 AM said...

As a social worker I can't actually explain marriage counseling to you, as I've never been on either side of it. But I imagine the whole hoping for "you're right" aspect is strong, definitely. As for the hooker, well, I suppose if you had the money to blow anyway ... but I'm quite sure insurance wouldn't cover one of those. ;)

Moooooog35 on January 28, 2010 at 6:35 AM said...

Did I just read that you're buying me a hooker?

This is a great day.

BugginWord on January 28, 2010 at 7:30 AM said...

I already jot down notes when my husband is talking. Not like, "must remember to pick up scripts," or "has intimacy issues." Instead I have to write down the crazy shit he says to I can blog about it later. If I'm too lazy to take notes I'll just get a dictaphone (TWSS)rather than pay a shrink.

Working Mommy on January 28, 2010 at 7:37 AM said...

Wait...I want a hooker!!


Mama-Face on January 28, 2010 at 7:57 AM said...

I'm a 4 time therapy drop out. (Not the marriage kind though). So I'm no fan of therapy in general. Although I have seen it work magic on children.

May I ask what led to this post?

Captain Dumbass on January 28, 2010 at 9:33 AM said...

Maybe hookers could look into branching out into counseling. It could help legitimize their work.

Anonymous said...

I would like therapy, only if it worked in my favor to convince hubby that I am always right, oh yeah, he already knows that!

Nicole @ Chic and Cheap Nursery on January 28, 2010 at 11:31 AM said...

I just have to say... I think I love you!
But I think my husband would love you even more!

I love being right so every time we have an argument, I'm like, "I think we need therapy." Because I would pay what I don't have ($$ wise) to be told that I am right!

Hubby claims that he can be his own therapist.

But I really like your hooker idea. Can I get a referral?

Unknown on January 28, 2010 at 1:14 PM said...

Hilarious post. Loved - "Might as well get us a hooker to do us both by the hour."

I guess a couple not having sex would go to a marriage therapist to get screwed. Kind of like a hooker with a doctorate.

Sherri on January 28, 2010 at 1:17 PM said...

that was quite .....straight forward....I think I am going to have to be your blogger friend! =)
Your a talented case you didn't already know!

tattytiara on January 28, 2010 at 3:34 PM said...

I've never been sure how I'd react if I were asked to attend couples therapy.

Nancy C on January 28, 2010 at 6:18 PM said...

I just read a book where a woman's husband met her at therapy with a suitcase, having just returned from a weekend with his mistress. It's hard to believe that the marriage feel apart despite the "benefits" of therapy.

Anonymous said...

Everyone I know that went to couple's counseling ended up divorced anyway.
They could just write in the divorce papers big ass words saying *why* they were getting divorced.

Mammatalk on January 29, 2010 at 8:22 AM said...

You are hysterical. A professional freak show.
I am secretly in agreement!

Tracie on January 29, 2010 at 10:34 AM said...

Blogging is all the therapy I'll ever need. And it's free.

Anonymous said...

I agree with boringbabble. I've never met anyone who went to marriage therapy and it worked... They should have just got a hooker I guess! LOL

Visiting from My Kids Are Fun!

Tori on January 29, 2010 at 7:19 PM said...


Following from MBC FFF.

LucyCooper on January 29, 2010 at 8:04 PM said...

Wow- I'm never the voice of dissent on comments but here goes....

I love my paid referee! Been married for 10 years,for the most part quite happily, but once a year or so we go let Margaret (PhD, not a hooker) help clear the air. It's awesome. She's hilarious and cool and helps me unclench and helps the Mr. remember to stop taking things to seriously.

Claudya Martinez on January 29, 2010 at 8:39 PM said...

Let me know what the hooker is charging. I'll do it for half.

Me-Me King on January 30, 2010 at 9:08 AM said...

You're so right, it is a load of crap...two marriages, seven counselors, two divorces. (sighs heavily then reaches for the vodka.)

Unknown on January 30, 2010 at 11:17 AM said...

I have to disagree. I found marriage counseling to be very helpful. It helped me see that I wasn't nuts and that it was time to get rid of that no-good cheating SOB I was married to! (I know, I know, I probably should have figured that out for myself, but sometimes you just can't see the forest for the trees!) That was 31 years ago. Been happily remarried for 26 years now.

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma on January 30, 2010 at 11:31 AM said...

What a hilarious post! I always thought a counselor might help the less-assertive partner in a marriage, but more likely the "help" doesn't really save the relationship.

betty-NZ on January 30, 2010 at 3:48 PM said...

I heard that marriage counselors have an 80% failure rate. Personally, I think prayer works a lot better!!

The girl with the flour in her hair on January 30, 2010 at 4:40 PM said...

Is there anything that a hooker can't fix? I mean look at Julia Roberts.

I don't even know what that meant...

Robin on January 30, 2010 at 4:56 PM said...

Im not a fan of marriage counseling, but I do find individual therapy a blessing in sheds light on things we might not see and provides insight as to why we keep making poor choices over and over...some want to change them and others do not..hey its not for Hookers(male or female)...they are for everybody..!

The Absence of Alternatives on January 30, 2010 at 9:54 PM said...

Hilarious and right on sister! I have threatened (ok, fine, suggested) that we seek a therapist or whatever, mainly because I want someone else to point out to him what a jerk he is. "See honey? It's not just me!"

Anonymous said...

You are funny, and at the same time state valid points about counseling. I think counseling saves very few marriages.


Kimberly on January 31, 2010 at 2:12 AM said...

Blogging is my therapy.

drollgirl on February 2, 2010 at 12:23 PM said...

i've never been married, hence no marriage counseling! but my last relationship took a nose dive and we considered couples counseling. not sure if it would have helped, and it probably would have just confirmed that it would be next to impossible to make things work for both of us in any type of satisfactory way. sigh.

Louise | Italy on February 5, 2010 at 1:36 PM said...

I have a friend who suggested marriage counselling to her husband when their marriage was rocky. She thinks the therapist could have made him listen to what she had to say. He wasn't listening. When she left him, a year later, he suggested marriage counselling. She wasn't there.

Frugal Vicki on February 11, 2010 at 3:23 PM said...

OMG! I found you from wbwam, and I love you, you are on my list of comic relief. Thanks for the laugh, especially since hubby and I are fighting right now!

Frugal Vicki on February 11, 2010 at 3:24 PM said...

OMG, I found you through wbawahm, and I am so glad I did! I love this, and I am adding you to my list of comic relief!

Post a Comment

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!

This is the coolest ever! Thank you Lauren for this Psycho Carnival Award!!
Now visit Lauren and witness all of her originality greatness!

Thank you my Jersey Girl Goddess!! Now go meet her @inannasstar.blogspot-No way you can resist!!!

Thank you my geeky friend!!! Now go check out Confessions of a Reforming Geek..she is way cool!

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?

Thanks to Diane over at Just Humor Me-Rules for this award: Drink & Blog-Do you see why I love her?
If you have not met Diane, please check her out. You will not be sorry! You trust me right? Go!

Thank you to the Empress at Gooddayregularpeople- Go visit this magnificent blogger!!!

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?

Thank you Linda! How cool is this award from my buddy over @thegoodthebadtheworse? I know right?
She's totally awesome!! Go check her out and see!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!

I Won!!! The Golden Phallus #32 Is Mine!!! Many thanks  to The Screaming Me-Me!!!!
Go check out the Screaming Me-Me for THE most captioning fun on the internet!!!! She's one of the friendliest Blog hosts out there!!!! Have fun & Caption away!!!!

Huge thanks to Nancy at for this award-Love this !!!

Thanks Heather @ twolittlemonkeysplushubby & Richele @underthegoldenappletree

Thanks so much to Margaret over at & Katsconfessions.blogspot.

Thanks so much to Margaret over at & Katsconfessions.blogspot.
Thanks to Tami & Richeleoxo@underthegoldenappletree.blogspot! Also to Hil'Lesha @ Vicki @ & Amanda at bloggertowne.blogspot You guys rock!!!

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE

DOUBLE THANKS to Noelle @elasticwaistbandsandcomfortableshoes & Daffy@ batcrapcrazy-U GUYS RULE
Another Awesome heartfelt thanks to the awesome Lauren @Thinkspin & multi-creative Robin them ...follow them...go!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!

The Rosie Award Comes Home!!!
Thanks to my bloggy buddy for bestowing this award back to me and letting me keep a Rosie at home forever!!!!

Sunshine Makes My Day!! Many Thanks to Joy@ thepracticalmomguide & Ziva @Zivasinferno for the shine


Thank you Anat over at for this spectacular award!!!

HUGE thanks to Gabrielle @ and Lisa!!

Thanks Lee!!!

Thanks Jenie for The Lady Ms Blogger Award! Visit her giving greatness

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @

Double Thanks to Robyn for both of these awards-visit her @
Tamara-Thank you for this!!! xoxoxoxoox visit her at @ xoxoxo

Thanks so much to Blia @

Grab An Award-see below

Finally, you do not need to be a recipient of an award to give an award!

Grab An Award – My way of awarding it forward. The only rules are: THERE ARE NO RULES (Only rule is no rules? Rule for rules? Is that a rule? I’m so confused)

And what is nicer than giving an award with no strings attached just because?

So in the spirit of fun blog awarding and ‘cause I think they’re a great way to connect and share the blog love with our awesome fellow bloggers (without the chain letter affect-they give me the willies), I have created The Divine Blogger and Rock Star Blogger Awards to grab-I know, fancy right? -(o.k. so I won't quit my day job)

Grab it and let the lucky recipient (s) know that you have given them a rule-free award and not to be afraid to pick it up on your site. Once they grab it from your site, they are free to pass it along to others (rule-free of course). And anyone can grab it from their sites to pass on as well.

Hope you all enjoy awarding it forward!

Now hurry! Go make room in your closet for all that good karma. And please get rid of those old sweatpants while you're at it! (-:

The No Rules Rock Star Blogger Award

The No Rules Divine Blogger Award

Award Love Received

Thanks so much to Lisa at (the Grandma sites got it going on yo) and Robyn at Simply Delightful and Tamara at homespunheartscandlesand Jane @agingmommyblog for this award. You guys are awesome!

Okay, here are my 10 honest things about myself:

1. I am an extremely well balanced individual

2. I am easily distracted

3. I don’t take rules seriously

4. I lied about number one (number 3 made me do it)

5. I have a short attention span

6. I often don’t finish what I sta..

Finger Linkin' Blogs

A Must Read Award

A Must Read Award

Who's with me? Copyright © 2009 Blogger Template Designed by Ipietoon for Tadpole's Notez. Button Design, Template Modification, Installation and Setup by