Friday, February 26, 2010

The Satisfied Blogger

In the past, I've labeled myself as many things.

First I was (and will always be) The Convenient Jew.

Then.....(and wouldn't my mother be proud) The 9 to 5 Lesbian.

And now.....I am happy to report.... The Satisfied Blogger.

I really don't know what the hell I did before.

I mean Before-the-blog.

Who the hell listened to all of my crap?

.....Oy, my poor husband.

It may be wrong, but the truth is that this blog and my bloggy friends are always in my head throughout the day.

And I think about it way more than I should.

Or think I should.

I'm still a little fuzzy on the whole screw-that-I'm-having-a-good-time thing.

But I wonder, is it really fair to look everyone in the face knowing that, at some point, I will be mentally checking out while preparing a blog post...

Funny yes.

But fair....?

PFFFT!!! Man Screw that!

It's funny.

See what I mean?

Is it wrong to scream out Blog! Instead of his name?

......Is it wrong that he probably didn't even notice?

Blogasm... Orgasm ....what's the difference

Everybody gets off happy right?

And...shhhhh... don't tell anyone but I'm having way more B's than O's these days!

Oh!!!!!!! Oh!!!!!! Did I really just write that?

Man that felt good (-:

I am sure to be many more things before this is all over but so far none quite as satisfying as this!

Come on...B's or O's ....which is better? I won't tell! (-:


Dual Mom on February 26, 2010 at 6:26 AM said...

Well, since I'm not having O's these days all I can say is "Thank god for B's".

Yankee Girl on February 26, 2010 at 6:30 AM said...

I am having a ton of O's these days that are producing lots more B's. They are working together now.

Joann Mannix on February 26, 2010 at 6:30 AM said...

Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but B's have been very, very good to me lately. And it doesn't help that the husband hasn't a clue when I'm talking about blogging. Blogging is as mystifying a world to him as menstrual periods. So, BBBBBBB's, all the way. Now, get away from me Husband, I'm blogging!

Robin on February 26, 2010 at 6:37 AM said...

Can't you have both...I wouldnt give up either...but if you're going to be screaming out "blog" instead of his name...then I guess you've made your choice...OMG are too friggin funny..!

Jules AF on February 26, 2010 at 7:01 AM said...

hahahaha I have nothing more to say.

Me-Me King on February 26, 2010 at 8:04 AM said...

HiLaRiOuS!!! You really ought to submit blogasm to the Urban Dictionary. Carry on.

ithardlymatters on February 26, 2010 at 8:12 AM said...

u made a boo-boo. must say nice rhyming word usage BLOGASM - ORGASM.
I am good with ORGASM but a bit clumsy in BLOGASM lolz...

life in the mom lane on February 26, 2010 at 8:19 AM said...

Too funny!!!!
I would have to say given the fact that I am in the midst of menopause and have virtually no interest in sex right now...much to hubby's dismay... however what I lack in orgasm quantity hubby makes sure it is made up for in QUALITY! Gotta love that in a man!

As for blogasms.... hmmm not quite there yet... :D

ReformingGeek on February 26, 2010 at 8:22 AM said...

If you scream "Blog", please make sure you are clear. You don't want him to think you said "Bob"....unless he's Bob.


hypermom on February 26, 2010 at 8:23 AM said...

Blogasm!! I love it!! Mwahahaha

Travelbugmom on February 26, 2010 at 8:49 AM said...

Both are great! You are great! HILL air IOUS!! Yes, enter it in Urban Dictionary, please!

Sabreena on February 26, 2010 at 8:50 AM said...

I would like to have more B's but my husband is too expectant of the O's so I am at a crossroads. If football would just come back I could blog freely.

XmasDolly on February 26, 2010 at 8:55 AM said...

Following you from Friday Follow. I would love for you to follow me too. Have a wonderful weekend!

BugginWord on February 26, 2010 at 8:57 AM said...

So then I assume wordplay is another form of foreplay you blogitute?!

Grizzly Bear on February 26, 2010 at 9:02 AM said...

ROFL girl you always have me rolling.. I am smiling I like starting my day like this. I may need to check back in as the day progresses cuz OML you know how that goes.!

Unknown on February 26, 2010 at 9:07 AM said...

Happy FF! I'm a new follower. Come by visit me at my blog.
Have a great day:)

Jayne Martin on February 26, 2010 at 9:13 AM said...

My vibrator doesn't care what I say. And it never, ever asks, "Was it good for you?" Reading your blog, however, is always "good for me."

People Who Know Me Would Say: on February 26, 2010 at 10:06 AM said...

Very, very funny! Blogging is a whole different mindset, isn't it? We are a culture unto ourselves.

I've had a love affair with the title and the blog post, "The Convenient Jew". It was when I knew you and I were meant to be. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nancy C on February 26, 2010 at 11:36 AM said...

Okay, I'll still prefer a O to a B, but I must say it's a lot easier to get a B than an O on some days.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip on February 26, 2010 at 11:40 AM said...

Blogasm. You just invented a new word. You are my hero. And BTW my family is forever telling me to return back to earth because I am spaced out mentally preparing a new blog or reliving a good one in my head. I don't need a 12 step program. I just need to be proud of my blogasms.

Lisa on February 26, 2010 at 12:54 PM said...

This blogasm is really weird. We are doing it with complete strangers that remain a stranger even after the occasion.

Unknown on February 26, 2010 at 1:00 PM said...

Hilarious post. Can we also add to the lexicon: a blog on, keyboard play, blogging with oneself, blog job, posthaste, the "b" spot, and blog slut.

Mammatalk on February 26, 2010 at 3:04 PM said...

I am so glad you're getting some good blog! You crack me up!

Brenda Susan on February 26, 2010 at 3:27 PM said...

So funny! I wonder about my current blog-flashes that occur more & more often. I recently finished with hot-flashes (yay!) & now my mind randomly begins writing blogs no matter WHAT I am doing! Satisfied smile says it all!

I have not read your details yet but i am guessing that I am WAY older than you are but i am coming back here & will be "Following" you anyway.

Ducky on February 26, 2010 at 5:52 PM said...

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb B!

Actually I'm laughing my ass off because the last time I actually got lucky I had trouble 'getting into the moment' because I was thinking about my post line up for the following week....

Tina on February 26, 2010 at 6:32 PM said...

i am having some trouble in both the B and O department.... damn, hoping that changes real freakin quick or i will be even more cranky then normal!!
lol ...great post
too funny

Claudya Martinez on February 26, 2010 at 8:14 PM said...

Damn you and your bloggy words! Blogasm!!! If I didn't have blog for brains I would have come up with that myself! I might have to blogart that word from you too.

Anonymous said...

Blogasm--purrfect! yes yes YES

Lothiriel on February 26, 2010 at 9:27 PM said...

BLOGASM!!! I love it!!!
I get a good Blogasm when I think about the perfect topic to right about, and get so inspired, words just come easily....aaahh...! Feels good!
For me, they're both good!1 But I get a lot more B's and than O's. He travels a lot, so it doesn't happen as often as i'd like...but that's ok. Keeps the marriage interesting and my blog keeps me sane!!

Unknown on February 26, 2010 at 9:41 PM said...

I'll have what she's having...

BLOGASM ---- I love it! That is so great!

peasterpeach on February 26, 2010 at 10:20 PM said...

No O's for me lately,ya for B's!

BLOGitse on February 27, 2010 at 1:30 AM said...

LOL! Blogasm...
I have to tell that to my husband! :)
What creativity bloggers have!


Anonymous said...

My boyfriend starts his foreplay on me While I'm at the computer. He is very tall, so when he walks over to me sitting at the computer, well you know--it's a BIG distraction...


The House Creative on February 27, 2010 at 4:18 AM said...

Happy Saturday Sharefest! Your post just cracks me up! Love it!

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick on February 27, 2010 at 4:19 AM said...

Here's my fear: That I'll have so much fun blogging that I'll want to do just that all day, which will dry up my source of things to blog about. So every now and then you have to pass up a B and have an O.

Anonymous said...

I think blogasm just became my new fave word!! =)

I am definitely having more B's than O's too! Its cause my hubs works a lot though.

joeandbridge on February 27, 2010 at 8:55 AM said...

Hi There! I'm poking around all the Friday Follow blogs! I'm your newest follower! Hope you can visit me!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins

Everyday Kathy on February 27, 2010 at 9:21 AM said...

More B's then O's this week for sure... hubby is on a trip so I can safely obsess about the blog for hours.... yum! Loved this post, I'll be back!
Found you from the SITS Saturday Sharefest. I've enjoyed my visit here! Thanks,
Kathy over at Everyday Bliss

Amo on February 27, 2010 at 9:51 AM said...

Well, I'm very glad you are into the B's because I love reading your posts! I haven't had much of either one lately. Too much morning sickness and exhaustion for either. But, hopefully, they will both be coming my way soon!

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma on February 27, 2010 at 1:10 PM said...

You are SO funny. I'd probably have more O's if I spent less time on B's. And changing your identity from time to time keeps you youthful.

Jessica Warrick on February 27, 2010 at 5:01 PM said...

All i can say is thank god for the B's cause the O's just aint cutting it... lol

I feel your pain or should i say obsession. I constantly think of what i can do to better my blog and how i can grow my constituents. have the time i cant think about the O's long enough to complete the deal....lmao

Coffeypot on February 27, 2010 at 5:16 PM said...

We all change when we start blogging. The world is blogger-fodder. I am always looking for things to blog about, even when I am talking to someone. Have fun and enjoy your B's AND O's.

Diana of Diana Rambles on February 27, 2010 at 8:15 PM said...

I am a new follower from MBC.
Diana Rambles
Custom Blog Designs

Brilliant Sulk on February 27, 2010 at 10:25 PM said...

Good thing you didn't have them at the same time.

Then you would have B.O.


The Single Mothers Chronicles on February 28, 2010 at 9:02 AM said...

See, but now you TWO outlets for 'gasams...I cannot wait to see what other outlets we get access to in this decade...yum :-)!
ps I get to have 'em all...

Jen on February 28, 2010 at 9:07 AM said...

You raise a great question. I have far more B's than O's and most of them are pretty damn satisfying.

Last night I was out for the first time in ages and I mentally checked out because I was trying to figure out how I could write a post about these people who knew I had a blog, and who apparently read it. I still haven't figured it out. I might need to do a guest post somewhere.

Tracie on February 28, 2010 at 4:39 PM said...

Ok. The Zach comment was from me. My son didn't sign out of Blogger before I got back on my laptop. Bwahahaha!!!

For the nosey people, the comment said: You had to ask. My Rabbit died. It's all B's for me and there haven't been many of those. *sad face*

Mother Of The Year in da house!

Anonymous said...

Whoa, Nellie! I am blushing just reading this post. :0)

Thanks for linking up with Friday Follow! I am now your blog follower. It is a pleasure to meet ya and have a great week!

~ Lynn

tattytiara on February 28, 2010 at 11:54 PM said...

Don't worry, my dear, any day now they'll come up with a lovely little chip to implant in our heads. Then we won't have to obsess over our blogs anymore, because we'll never have to log off from them!

Deb K on March 1, 2010 at 12:36 AM said...

Too Funny~thanks!

Visiting from MBC~Love Your Blog!

I am now following you too :-)

Moooooog35 on March 1, 2010 at 5:33 AM said...

If jerking off while thinking about my blog is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Actually..I kind of do. I may need therapy.

Joy@TPMG on March 1, 2010 at 10:39 AM said...

LOL. B's and O's-both rewarding.

Miss Spoken on March 1, 2010 at 10:51 AM said...

My vagina actually writes my blog so I'm good with both.

Cameron on March 1, 2010 at 11:34 AM said...

Perhaps you have invented a new word "Blogasm!" You just need a cig and a smoking jacket and you are set!

Roller Coaster on March 1, 2010 at 12:28 PM said...

Following from FFF on MBC. Nice to meet you!

marymac on March 1, 2010 at 2:11 PM said...

everybody gets off happy baby!
love this post
what DID we do before?!!


Maureen@IslandRoar on March 1, 2010 at 4:41 PM said...

Blogamsm, I love it! Something even those of us without a man in our lives are capable of having.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) on March 1, 2010 at 6:16 PM said...

Oh it's so good to be satisfied!!!

Have a glourious day :o)

Crystal Escobar on March 1, 2010 at 9:18 PM said...

haha, that is hilarious, and I can totally relate. Blogging has been consuming me these days, since my blog is about balance, I'm trying to figure out how to have a better balance in blogging. I think I'm going to cut back a bit :) not quitting, just cutting back so I can focus on normal things too.

MommaKiss on March 2, 2010 at 7:07 AM said...

I'm a big fan of the B's. And the O's. Such a relief, both of them.

MommaKiss on March 2, 2010 at 7:08 AM said...

What the fuck is that comment above mine? I bet it's wicked dirty and wish I could read it :p

The Absence of Alternatives on March 3, 2010 at 5:03 PM said...

I am with Dual Mom: Thank GOD for B's! And I am with Ms. King: Let's get Blogasm into Urban Dictionary!!

p.s. I didn't leave that comment in Chinese. But it was all about porn, naked girls, naked hot girls, playing with oneself, spanking the monkey... You got the idea. ;-)

AmandaWK on March 3, 2010 at 7:27 PM said...

Holy comment posting, batman! SH*T! I had to walk 300 miles b/4 I got to the "post a comment". Boy can I identify with you on a lot and I have only just begun reading your blog. Convenient Jew, Blogaholic, more "B's" than "O's"...of course that last one is more my own fault than his... just had a baby.

Love the blog and following you from MBC

Linda Medrano on March 10, 2010 at 7:37 PM said...

I'm afraid that I know what you are talking about. That's not a good thing. Oh blog me baby! Blog me hard! I may have to start working in phone sex for money since my letter from the IRS came today. I can talk dirty blog and still do the ironing at the same time.

Holly Lefevre on April 19, 2010 at 10:57 PM said...

I hear ya! My hubby is in a constant state of wonder when it comes to blogging...but then again he needs little human interaction...a book, a light, a chair and that man is happy.

Thanks for stopping by on my SITS Day.

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